This post is part of a series of posts that have been incorporated into Part 1 of my online article, “A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men.”
What is it about churches that do an especially good job of ministering to their men?
This post is part 2 of a 3 part series of posts on 13 characteristics of churches that reach and utilize all of their men. The first four characteristics that I covered in part one relate to the pastors of these churches. In this post, I discuss characteristics that relate to the laymen in these churches. And in my third and final post, I will discuss characteristics that relate to the general congregations in these churches.
5. Churches that reach and utilize all of their men have godly male lay leadership.
“Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.” 1 Timothy 3:1
When it comes to choosing laymen to lead the church, I sometimes see pastors and congregations make the following mistake: they assume that just because a man is successful in business and makes generous contributions to the church that therefore he is qualified to participate in leading the church. But there is nothing in scripture that tells us that being a successful and generous businessman qualifies him for spiritual leadership.
Rather, what qualifies a Christian man for church leadership are the character qualities that are listed as the requirements for elders in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9, as well as the requirements for deacons in 1 Timothy 3:8 and Acts 6:3.
I suggest reading all of these qualifications slowly and deliberately, so as to apply them to ourselves.
Here are the qualifications for elders:
- Blameless as a steward of God, above reproach
- Faithful husband
- Temperate, sober, vigilant
- Sober-minded, prudent
- Of good behavior, orderly, respectable
- Given to hospitality
- Able to teach
- Not given to wine
- Not violent, not pugnacious
- Patient, moderate, forbearing, gentle
- Uncontentious, not soon angry or quick-tempered
- Not covetous, not a lover of money
- Rules his own house well, his children are faithful, not accused of rebellion against God
- Not a new convert
- Has a good reputation with outsiders
- Not self-willed
- A lover of what is good
- Just, fair
- Holy, devout
- Self-controlled
- Holds firmly to the faithful message as it has been taught
The qualifications for deacons are as follows:
- Worthy of respect
- Sincere
- Not indulging in much wine
- Not pursuing dishonest gain
- Holds the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience
- Tested
- Faithful to his wife and manages his children and his household well
- Full of the Spirit and wisdom
What is clear from these lists is that the qualifications for elders and deacons are not just expected of men in church leadership positions, but of all Christian men in general. Taken together they describe what mature Christian men who are consistently living out their Christian faith look like.
With this expanded view of the qualifications for elders in mind, Dr. Gen Getz wrote The Measure of a Man, one of the most widely read men’s ministry books ever written. (Why he left out the qualifications for deacons is unknown.) I highly recommend this book to all men’s ministries.
6. Churches that reach and utilize all of their men have men who are walking consistently in the Spirit.
“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16
The Holy Spirit is a person, the third person of the Trinity. As such, the Holy Spirit indwells all believers. Men who consistently walk in the Spirit are men who actively enjoy his presence through worship, meditation on Scripture, and prayer (John 4:24), who listen to the Spirit’s leading in their daily lives (Romans 8:4), who display the fruit of the Spirit wherever they go (Galatians 5:22-23), and who exercise their spiritual giftedness in service to the church (1 Corinthians 12:8-10).
Spirit filled men are spiritual powerhouses who demonstrate victory over sin in their lives, accomplish amazing good in the lives of others, and boldly point people to Christ as a result of their testimony.
7. Churches that reach and utilize all of their men have men who understand and practice the love of Christ in their homes, in their churches, and in their communities.
“The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith..” 1 Timothy 1:5
In its art, music, literature, indeed, in all of its culture, the world has a lot to say about its version of love. But actually loving like Jesus Christ is a foreign concept to the natural man. One must be born again in order to love like Jesus (John 13:34-35). This distinctiveness of Christ’s love is why the goal of all men’s ministry is to train men to love like him.
Christian men love like Jesus by freely entering into binding covenant relationships with others, called “hesed love” or “covenant-keeping love” in the Bible. They demonstrate their covenant-keeping love by identifying with the people they have covenanted themselves to the way Christ identified with us in the incarnation, by being faithful to the people they have covenanted themselves to the way Christ has been faithful to us in the incarnation, and by sacrificing for those they have covenanted themselves to the way Christ sacrificed for us in redemption.
In marriage, Christian men express this covenant-keeping love when they enter into a sacred marital covenant with their wives and children. They practice their marriage covenant by coming to know and understand their family well (identification), by being faithful husbands and fathers (commitment), and by doing whatever it takes to meet the needs of their family members (sacrifice).
In their churches, Christian men expressed this covenant keeping love by entering into a sacred covenant, the New Covenant (Luke 22:20) at the time of their salvation. This new covenant is governed by the New Commandment given to us by Jesus in John 13:34-35. In it he commands us to love each other as he has loved us. This commandment is especially relevant to the neediest in the church, such as widows, single moms, and fatherless children (1 John 3:16-18). As Christian men learn to identify with, commit to, and sacrifice for these neediest of all in their churches, they experience the highest expression of their faith (James 1:27).
In their communities, Christian men participate in a “social contract,” the general organizing principles that govern society at large. As they do, they inject their “salt,” their spiritual influence, by loving their neighbors as themselves with good works (Matthew 22:37-39; Galatians 6:10), thus fulfilling the law of Christ.
8. Churches that reach and utilize all of their men have men who know and fully support their church’s mission.
“Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Matthew 28:19
Of course, all churches should have as their goal winning people to Christ and making disciples. But many churches also have specific emphases in how they address this goal.
For example, the church I grew up in had a very strong emphasis on foreign missions. Not only did the church support over one hundred missionaries in dozens of countries, but it had a fifty foot high map of the world at the front of the sanctuary with the locations of those missionaries marked with tiny bright lights. Underneath the map was the verse in giant letters: “Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mark 16:15). No wonder, then, that three of my siblings have been deeply involved in missions.
On the other hand, some churches may be located next to a college or university campus and have a college ministry as their mission. I know of churches that have as their mission to reach young families, gangs, addicts, immigrants from certain countries, inner city residents, even cowboys!
Whatever the mission of a church is, the men in the church should know it well, be able to articulate what it is, and be supportive of it 100%.
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In my third and last post on this topic, I will cover more general qualities of churches that reach and utilize all of their men.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
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