At the core of New Commandment Men’s Ministries is the conviction that the love of Christ is unique and has immediate and practical implications for the neediest believers in any church.
First define the practice of the love of Christ
We define the practice of the love of Christ based on what God has done for us through Christ in the Incarnation and Redemption. In the Incarnation, God, through Jesus Christ, identified with us and committed to us forever. In Redemption, God, through Jesus Christ, sacrificed for us, paying the penalty for our sin and saving us by faith in His Son.
Now Jesus Christ commands us to love each other the same way he has loved us. And while this command most certainly has practical implications for how we love our spouses and children, it extends outward to the entire congregation. Since all believers are to love each other the way Christ loves us, Scripture makes it clear that the neediest in any church must receive the highest priority.
We tend to apply the love of Christ to marriage and family members, while ignoring widows, widowers, and single parents
But New Commandment maintains that it is precisely in this broader application of the love of Christ that churches are falling short. We tend to emphasize the application of the love of Christ in marital and family relationships but ignore the broader needs of widows, widowers and single parents in the congregation.
Ideally, if we are loving their widowed and single parents in our church the way Christ has loved us, then we should be identifying with them and committing to them the way Christ did in his Incarnation and sacrificing for them the way Christ did in Redemption.
So here are three critical questions to ask every widow, widower, single parent and anyone else in your church with a long term need. How these people answer these questions will tell you whether or not your church is loving them the way Christ has loved us.
Question #1 for widows, widowers, and single parents: are there people in this church who know you well?
It’s a simple truth: we can’t love someone we don’t know. And if no one knows a widow or a single mom in our church, then our church is failing her. The love of Christ demands that we come to know someone in need to the point that we empathize with them.
Question #2 for widows, widowers, and single parents: are there people in this church who are committed to you and demonstrate it by regularly visiting you and serving you in your home?
“Through love serve one another” Scripture commands us in Galatians 5:13. But the irony of a church “service” is that we’re not really serving one another. Service must take place in the home, not in a church building. The home is were our practical needs are met and where we can meet the practical needs of others.
The way to demonstrate commitment to their widowed and single parents is by working in their homes on a regular basis.
Question #3 for widows, widowers, and single parents: are there people in this church who are willing to guarantee your well being by sacrificing for you?
Guaranteeing someone’s well being means taking final responsibility for them. Examples from Scripture are Judah taking final responsibility for Benjamin, Ruth taking final responsibility for Naomi, Jonathan taking final responsibility for David, the Good Samaritan taking final responsibility for the waylaid Jew, and John taking final responsibility for Jesus’ mother Mary.
Just as the practical result of the fall was Cain’s callous disregard for his brother Abel (“Am I my brother’s keeper?”), so the practical result of salvation is a believer caring for his brother or sister in Christ (“Yes, I am my brother’s keeper.”).
Now evaluate the response
If all their widowed and single parents in your church answer yes to these three questions, then I believe your church can say, “Yes, we are loving our neediest in our church the way Christ has loved us.”
But if any of your widowed or single parents in your church answer no to any of these questions, you have work to do.
How do you think your church would score if you gave these three questions to your widowed and single parents?
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
Since 2003 New Commandment Men’s Ministries has helped hundreds of churches throughout North America and around the world recruit teams of men who permanently adopt widows, single moms and fatherless children in their congregations for the purpose of donating two hours of service to them one Saturday morning each month. We accomplish this with a free training site called New Commandment Men’s Ministry Learn how to mobilize your men’s ministry to meet every pressing need in your church at newcommandment.org.
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
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