As Christians, we’re commanded to love our neighbors “as ourselves.” A high bar indeed. For the past seven years Patti and I have tried to take this command literally and seriously. Here are some things we’ve learned along the way.
- Respect your neighbors’ privacy. It seems counter intuitive, but the best way to begin loving your neighbors is to remember that they do not share the same goal as you do. We want to love them. They just want, for the most part, to be left alone. Their view of neighborliness is limited interaction on their own terms. So we need to begin loving our neighbors by understanding their desires and yet tactfully interact with them when opportunities arise.?
- Love them, don’t evangelize them. Of course, we all want to see our neighbors come to Christ. But if we begin by trying to evangelize our neighbors, we will only alienate them. They need to see that we love them first. And this takes time. This is why commands to evangelize are very rare in the New Testament and commands to love are very frequent.
- Take the long view. The nice thing about setting out to love our neighbors is that, normally, time is on our side. Even though our daily modern world routines greatly reduce interactions with our neighbors, we still have them. Each interaction is an opportunity to get to know and love your neighbors.
- Start with their names. The first goal should be to learn the first and last names of everyone on the block. Write down names as soon as you hear them and repeat them often.
- Strive for peace on your block. “Man is born to strife as the sparks fly upward,” Proverbs says. That is certainly true in neighborhoods. We want to be peacemakers and bring a ministry of reconciliation to our block. That means we tamp down gossip and do what we can to please our neighbors. “If possible, as much as in you, be at peace with all people,” Paul reminds us.
- Love them their way. Find out what makes your neighbors feel loved. For some it’s stopping to talk. For others, it’s helping with chores such as raking leaves and shoveling snow. For all, it’s remembering their names.
- They’re watching you. Be the kind of neighbor you want them to be for you. Are you keeping up your home and lawn? Does your dog bark all day? Do your neighbors see you fighting with your wife and/or children? In many ways, we Christians live in glass houses. Don’t be surprised when your neighbors stare.
Genuine love for our neighbors only comes when we invest thought, time and effort in them. They need our love. And guess what? We need their love too.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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