“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” 1 Peter 3:15
From time to time I have had the opportunity speak and train in various non-Christian venues because it is important for us to educate non-Christians about who we are. I receive many comments and questions in those settings, and unless I have specified that a particular topic is off-limits (I never do), I expect and am happy to answer any question that comes my way. In that situation, as the old cliché goes, there are no stupid questions.
So here are 8 questions non-Christians have asked me…and may ask you.
#1. “What did it feel like when you became a Christian”?
There is no one “feeling.” Christian people have many feelings, or sometimes no specific feelings at all, when they “cross the line.” We know what you’re asking, but we don’t like to pretend that we speak for all Jesus followers. Most Christians who have come out describe the born-again experience as a “settled peace,” or “becoming a new person.”
But Christian transition is not all about feelings – in fact, the social aspects of transition can be far more complicated, complex, and compelling. To ask about feelings alone is to disregard every other aspect of a person as a human being. In addition, some Christians are still quite closeted. Deciding to become a publicly identified Christian is about adopting a whole new lifestyle…an entirely new way of thinking and acting.
#2 “How did you know which church/parish to use?”
We use the church/parish that matches our beliefs. We use the worship venue that is right for us (if we can). Sometimes Christians must try different settings before they find the best “fit”. Our leader, Jesus, said, “I will build my church.” So, we hold on to that incredible promise. We celebrate Christian diversity!
#3. “Do you know if you combed your hair a certain way, walked a certain way, did ______ (fill in the blank) a certain way, you would be more like others in society?”
Thanks for the advice. Now, as for what’s wrong with you … lol. Yes, we understand that we sometimes stick out like a sore thumb in “society.” But the love we feel and the lifestyle of following Jesus is amazing! Letting Jesus live his life in and through us is like… Mind. Blown.
#4. “So you were born a Christian, right?”
No, we were not born this way. Someone “becomes” a Christian when they determine to place their faith and trust in Jesus Christ alone as the one who paid the penalty for their sins. We have made a deliberate “decision” to transition. Most Christian people will tell you that this transition is a choice – it became a necessity for us, and the “decision” was to continue living, which necessitated a radical lifestyle change. Believe us; some have lost friends, careers, boyfriends/girlfriends, and even family members over this decision to follow Jesus Christ.
#5. “You seem to blend in / pass really well?”
While some Christian people may take this as a compliment, especially in the early stages of transition, “blending in” implies that a person is not what they seem to be – that the person is “passing” for something else. However, our leader, Jesus, not only taught us to stand out, but he also modeled it. In fact, he said, “The world hated me, and they will hate you!” If you want to give a compliment, say, “You look nice today,” or “That color looks good on you,” or whatever you would say to anyone else.
#6. “I thought you’d be a lunatic – but you’re just a normal person!”
Catch me during the next full moon. (ha ha) While it’s true that some Christians can come across as angry or judgmental, most are just ordinary folks trying to make their way in the world. We are teachers, physicians, truck drivers, attorneys, nurses, just everyday folk. The main difference is that we have had all of our sins forgiven—past, present, and future—by the gift of grace from trusting in Jesus.
#7. “Do you have sex?”
Seriously? Christian people have sex just like everyone else. Well, not just like everyone else. For Christians, sex is celebrated between a male and a female who are in a lifetime covenant marriage relationship. Although not for everyone, most describe it as feeling very freeing and safe. Out of all the potential sexual partners in the entire world, my spouse chooses to have sex only with me. It’s truly one of God’s wonderful gifts.
#8. “Do you know that sometimes I can still see the non-Christian in you?”
Ah, you saw me being insensitive to that person who cut me off in traffic? Well, most Christian people would prefer not to be reminded of their previous incarnation, if you will. While those who say this generally mean no harm and are just being sentimental about a “person” they miss from their past, those who have transitioned usually don’t share the same sentimentality about their pre-transition self, so no matter what you see, it’s best to keep it to yourself. Even if some have rejected us in society or even by our own family members, we believe that day by day, God is helping us to change into the person He desires us to become. Transitioning is a lifelong journey of walking by faith in Jesus Christ!
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
Dr. Paul Pettit
Dr. Paul Pettit serves as Director of Career Services at Dallas Theological Seminary and teaches in the departments of Spiritual Formation, Leadership, and Pastoral Ministries. Dr. Pettit is also the founder of Dynamic Dads. Dynamic Dads is a non-profit organization dedicated to encouraging fathers everywhere in their demanding yet highly rewarding role of leading their family.
© Dr. Paul Pettit
www.dynamicdads.com
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