A Comprehensive Church-Based Widows Ministry
Herb Reese
Table of Contents
I. The Differences Between Widows Ministry and Other Ministries
II. Start Your Widows Ministry with an Attitude Adjustment
- From Showing Calloused Disregard for Widows...
- To Taking Final Responsibility for Widows
III. Refocus and Retrain Your Deacons for Your Widows Ministry
- How the Church has Ignored the Original Function of Deacons
- Restore the Biblical Function and Focus of Deacons
IV. Do A Needs Analysis for Your Widows
- Is there Emotional and Spiritual Trauma?
- Is there Social Isolation?
- Is there Financial Deprivation?
- Then Prioritize the Need
V. Take Concrete Action on Behalf of Your Widows
- With Respect to Emotional and Spiritual Trauma
- With Respect to Social Isolation
- With Respect to Financial Deprivation
VI. Plan Your Widows Ministry for the Long Haul
VII. Widow Advocates
VIII. This is a Successful Widows Ministry
IX. No One Said Widows Ministry would be Easy
X. Pastors, Set the Example for Your Widows Ministry
XI. A Word of Encouragement for Small Churches
XII. What About Others with Long Term Needs?
XIII. "This has National Implications!"
Other Articles in the "Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry" Series
A Comprehensive Church-Based Widows Ministry
Herb Reese
Table of Contents
I. The Differences Between Widows Ministry and Other Ministries
II. Start Your Widows Ministry with an Attitude Adjustment
- From Showing Calloused Disregard for Widows...
- To Taking Final Responsibility for Widows
III. Refocus and Retrain Your Deacons for Your Widows Ministry
- How the Church has Ignored the Original Function of Deacons
- Restore the Biblical Function and Focus of Deacons
IV. Do A Needs Analysis for Your Widows
- Is there Emotional and Spiritual Trauma?
- Is there Social Isolation?
- Is there Financial Deprivation?
- Then Prioritize the Need
V. Take Concrete Action on Behalf of Your Widows
- With Respect to Emotional and Spiritual Trauma
- With Respect to Social Isolation
- With Respect to Financial Deprivation
VI. Plan Your Widows Ministry for the Long Haul
VII. Widow Advocates
VIII. This is a Successful Widows Ministry
IX. No One Said Widows Ministry would be Easy
X. Pastors, Set the Example for Your Widows Ministry
XI. A Word of Encouragement for Small Churches
XII. What About Others with Long Term Needs?
XIII. "This has National Implications!"
XIV. Bibliography
Other Articles in the "Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry" Series
Summary
Though widows ministry was an important ministry in the early church, the modern church has often had an attitude of calloused disregard towards it. That attitude needs to change to one of focused attention to the needs of its widows. The church can begin by doing a needs analysis of its widows. Then, the church needs to take concrete action that addresses the specific types of needs its widows have. While ministry to widows isn't easy, pastors can set an example of sacrificial service to them.
Summary
Though widows ministry was an important ministry in the early church, the modern church has often had an attitude of calloused disregard towards it. That attitude needs to change to one of focused attention to the needs of widows. The church can begin by doing a needs analysis of its widows. Then, the church needs to take concrete action that addresses the specific types of needs its widows have. While ministry to widows isn't easy, pastors can set an example of sacrificial service to them.
Introduction
My grandfather, Sievert Reese, was a godly man who helped start a church in Canby, Oregon, where my dad was born. A few years ago I found Sievert's business card among some old pictures. On the back was printed, "Only one life, twill soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last."
Tragically, Sievert died at a young age and left my grandmother a widow and single mother of five children. Even more tragically, the church they attended did nothing more for her and her children than hold a funeral.
That sad story can be repeated hundreds of thousands of times every year across America. Most churches think of their ministry to widows as holding a funeral for their deceased husbands, followed with a fellowship meal for them and their family and friends. Before the funeral, some individuals may send flowers. After the funeral, others may send cards.
But eventually, everyone goes their own separate way, leaving the widows to fend for themselves.
But when we compare this minimalist concept of "widows ministry" to how the early church treated its widows (i.e. Acts 6:1-6; 1 Timothy 5), it falls far short. Clearly, something has happened in the church to the way we think about, and relate to, our widows. This begs the question: What constitutes a truly comprehensive ministry to widows?
As a pastor for twenty years, I struggled mightily with how to adequately minister to widows - and to others with long term needs. Even though I attended a well-known seminary for four years and majored in Pastoral Ministries, I received no training in how to minister to widows.
So whenever a woman in our church lost her husband, I defaulted to the typical routine I described above. But it was unsatisfying because I knew we would eventually disappoint her and let her slip through the cracks.
Our church was supposed to be a bastion of the love of Christ. How could we treat our widows this way, I wondered. Out of frustration, I began praying about how to better minister to our widows in a way that genuinely expressed the love of Christ.
It's been twenty-five years since I began praying that prayer and since then the Lord has taught me many lessons about how to meet the needs of widows and has enabled me to help hundreds of churches better serve their widows.
Below I share what I've learned -- through prayer, study of the Word, and practice -- about what a comprehensive church-based widows ministry that honors the Bible and genuinely meets the needs of widows can look like.
The Widows' List
"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.
If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need." 1 Timothy 5:3-16
Introduction
My grandfather, Sievert Reese, was a godly man who helped start a church in Canby, Oregon, where my dad was born. A few years ago I found Sievert's business card among some old pictures. On the back was printed, "Only one life, twill soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last."
Tragically, Sievert died at a young age and left my grandmother a widow and single mother of five children. Even more tragically, the church they attended did nothing more for her and her children than hold a funeral.
That sad story can be repeated hundreds of thousands of times every year across America. Most churches think of their ministry to widows as holding a funeral for their deceased husbands, followed with a fellowship meal for them and their family and friends. Before the funeral, some individuals may send flowers. After the funeral, others may send cards.
But eventually, everyone goes their own separate way, leaving the widows to fend for themselves.
But when we compare this minimalist concept of "widows ministry" to how the early church treated its widows (i.e. Acts 6:1-6; 1 Timothy 5), it falls far short. Clearly, something has happened in the church to the way we think about, and relate to, our widows. This begs the question: What constitutes a truly comprehensive ministry to widows?
As a pastor for twenty years, I struggled mightily with how to adequately minister to widows - and to others with long term needs. Even though I attended a well-known seminary for four years and majored in Pastoral Ministries, I received no training in how to minister to widows.
So whenever a woman in our church lost her husband, I defaulted to the typical routine I described above. But it was unsatisfying because I knew we would eventually disappoint her and let her slip through the cracks.
Our church was supposed to be a bastion of the love of Christ. How could we treat our widows this way, I wondered. Out of frustration, I began praying about how to better minister to our widows in a way that genuinely expressed the love of Christ.
It's been twenty-five years since I began praying that prayer and since then the Lord has taught me many lessons about how to meet the needs of widows and has enabled me to help hundreds of churches better serve their widows.
Below I share what I've learned -- through prayer, study of the Word, and practice -- about what a comprehensive church-based widows ministry that honors the Bible and genuinely meets the needs of widows can look like.
The Widows' List
"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.
If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need." 1 Timothy 5:3-16
I. The Differences Between Widows Ministry and Other Ministries
Widows ministry is not just one ministry among the many possible ministries churches can do. Rather, it is an extremely important ministry that has many distinctive characteristics.
- Widows ministry is a mandated ministry. Mandated ministries are ministries that the word of God explicitly commands the church to do, like preaching and discipleship. Widows ministry is one of those ministries (Acts 6, 1 Timothy 5).
- Widows and widows ministry are extensively treated biblical topics. Dozens of biblical passages discuss God's heart for widows and how we are to minister to widows.
- Widows ministry is a custodial ministry. By custodial ministry, I mean a ministry that is ultimately responsible for guaranteeing the physical well-being of widows (like Ruth did for Orpah in Ruth 1), as opposed, for example, to children's ministry or youth ministry where the custodial responsibilities belong to the parents (1 Timothy 5:16).
- Widows ministry has its own uniquely ordained and highly qualified Deacons. "...And when they had prayed, they laid their hands on them" (Acts 6:1-6; 1 Timothy 3:8-13).
- Widows ministry has existed since the beginning of the church. "There were no needy ones among them" (Acts 4:34). Sunday School, Small Groups and Youth Ministries are much more recent ministries.
- Widows ministry is a measure of a church's spiritual health. A spiritually mature church is a church that, filled with the love of Christ, sacrifices for its own (1 John 3:16-18).
- Widows ministry has evangelistic implications. Immediately after the ordination of Deacons to serve their widows, Acts 6:7 tells us, "And the word of God increased; and the number of the disciples multiplied in Jerusalem greatly; and a great company of the priests were obedient to the faith."
- Widows ministry is the one ministry most often ignored by the modern church. Unfortunately, this omission is also something that distinguishes widows ministry from other ministries.
I. The Differences Between Widows Ministry and Other Ministries
Widows ministry is not just one ministry among the many possible ministries churches can do. Rather, it is an extremely important ministry that has many distinctive characteristics.
- Widows ministry is a mandated ministry. Mandated ministries are ministries that the word of God explicitly commands the church to do, like preaching and discipleship. Widows ministry is one of those ministries (Acts 6, 1 Timothy 5).
- Widows and widows ministry are extensively treated biblical topics. Dozens of biblical passages discuss God's heart for widows and how we are to minister to widows.
- Widows ministry is a custodial ministry. By custodial ministry, I mean a ministry that is ultimately responsible for guaranteeing the physical well-being of widows (like Ruth did for Orpah in Ruth 1), as opposed, for example, to children's ministry or youth ministry where the custodial responsibilities belong to the parents (1 Timothy 5:16).
- Widows ministry has its own uniquely ordained and highly qualified Deacons. "...And when they had prayed, they laid their hands on them" (Acts 6:1-6; 1 Timothy 3:8-13).
- Widows ministry has existed since the beginning of the church. "There were no needy ones among them" (Acts 4:34). Sunday School, Small Groups and Youth Ministries are much more recent ministries.
- Widows ministry is a measure of a church's spiritual health. A spiritually mature church is a church that, filled with the love of Christ, sacrifices for its own (1 John 3:16-18).
- Widows ministry has evangelistic implications. Immediately after the ordination of Deacons to serve their widows, Acts 6:7 tells us, "And the word of God increased; and the number of the disciples multiplied in Jerusalem greatly; and a great company of the priests were obedient to the faith."
- Widows ministry is the one ministry most often ignored by the modern church. Unfortunately, this omission is also something that distinguishes widows ministry from other ministries.
II. Start Your Widows Ministry with An Attitude Adjustment
From Showing Calloused Disregard for Widows...
After preaching in a church in New England, a woman came up to me with the following story.
She said she and her husband wanted to give their pastor and his wife a break from their kids. So they took their pastor's children, along with their own children, for a daytime picnic in the forest. But while walking through the forest, a tree fell on her husband and killed him.
Then, with an extremely anguished look on her face, she told me that the church did a funeral for her husband and sent over a few meals. But after that, it ignored her and her children and left them to fend for themselves!
"Are we our widows' keepers?" That paraphrase of Cain's sarcastic answer to God after he killed his brother Abel -- "Am I my brother's keeper?" -- sums up the problem the modern church has with its widows. The problem is an attitude of calloused disregard and it has significant negative repercussions for widows in churches.
Make no mistake. Calloused disregard can have a friendly face. We mask it with kind gestures, like sending condolence cards and flowers to a bereaved widow. But kind gestures like these, while good and necessary, can also simply be furtive attempts to show we care without taking steps to resolve any actual long term pressing needs the widow may have going forward.
"Am I my brother's keeper?" God doesn't answer Cain's question until Genesis 44, in the story of Judah offering himself up in place of his brother Benjamin. While speaking to Pharaoh's right hand official (the unrecognized Joseph) in what is the moral climax to the book of Genesis, Judah says:
"Your servant guaranteed the boy's safety to my father.... Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy." Genesis 44:32-33
Instead of callously disregarding Benjamin in his time of need -- which he could easily have done -- Judah guaranteed his well being by offering himself up as a sacrifice in his place.
"Yes Cain," God is saying, "You are your brother's keeper." And he's saying the same thing to Judah. "Yes, you are your brother's keeper." It wasn't until Judah finally acknowledged this before Joseph, the very brother he had helped to sell into slavery, that the purposes and promises of God could be fulfilled in his family.
...To Taking Final Responsibility for Widows
The story in Ruth 1:15-18 that I cited above, of Ruth, a widow herself, telling Naomi, an older widow and Ruth's former mother-in-law, that she would never leave her is one of the finest examples of commitment to the wellbeing of another in all of human literature.
In that story Ruth perfectly illustrates for us what it means to take "final responsibility" for a widow: "Where you go, I will go...where you die, I will die..."
So what about the widows in our churches? "Are we our widows' keepers?" Are we to make the same kind of commitment to our widows that Ruth made to Naomi?
The clear biblical answer is yes. The Old Testament expresses again and again God's heart for widows (Deut. 1:18; Ps 10:14, 18; 68:5). But it isn't until the early church that we finally see their needs taken seriously.
Instead of an attitude of calloused disregard, the church, like Ruth, took final responsibility for the wellbeing of its widows. That is, it assumed the role of guaranteeing their wellbeing.
We as a church need to take that same attitude today as well. For too long we have abdicated to the government our responsibility to our widows. It's time for us to reclaim our role as providers and protectors.
Cain Kills His Brother Abel
"Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”" Genesis 4:2-9
Judah Sacrifices Himself for His Brother Benjamin
"Your servant guaranteed the boy’s safety to my father. I said, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!’
Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord’s slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come on my father." Genesis 44:32-34
Ruth Sacrifices Herself for Naomi, a Widow
"Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.”
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her." Ruth 1:15-18
II. Start Your Widows Ministry with An Attitude Adjustment
From Showing Calloused Disregard for Widows...
After preaching in a church in New England, a woman came up to me with the following story.
She said she and her husband wanted to give their pastor and his wife a break from their kids. So they took their pastor's children, along with their own children, for a daytime picnic in the forest. But while walking through the forest, a tree fell on her husband and killed him.
Then, with an extremely anguished look on her face, she told me that the church did a funeral for her husband and sent over a few meals. But after that, it ignored her and her children and left them to fend for themselves!
"Are we our widows' keepers?" That paraphrase of Cain's sarcastic answer to God after he killed his brother Abel -- "Am I my brother's keeper?" -- sums up the problem the modern church has with its widows. The problem is an attitude of calloused disregard and it has significant negative repercussions for widows in churches.
Make no mistake. Calloused disregard can have a friendly face. We mask it with kind gestures, like sending condolence cards and flowers to a bereaved widow. But kind gestures like these, while good and necessary, can also simply be furtive attempts to show we care without taking steps to resolve any actual long term pressing needs the widow may have going forward.
"Am I my brother's keeper?" God doesn't answer Cain's question until Genesis 44, in the story of Judah offering himself up in place of his brother Benjamin. While speaking to Pharaoh's right hand official (the unrecognized Joseph) in what is the moral climax to the book of Genesis, Judah says:
"Your servant guaranteed the boy's safety to my father.... Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy." Genesis 44:32-33
Instead of callously disregarding Benjamin in his time of need -- which he could easily have done -- Judah guaranteed his well being by offering himself up as a sacrifice in his place.
"Yes Cain," God is saying, "You are your brother's keeper." And he's saying the same thing to Judah. "Yes, you are your brother's keeper." It wasn't until Judah finally acknowledged this before Joseph, the very brother he had helped to sell into slavery, that the purposes and promises of God could be fulfilled in his family.
...To Taking Final Responsibility for Widows
The story in Ruth 1:15-18 that I cited above, of Ruth, a widow herself, telling Naomi, an older widow and Ruth's former mother-in-law, that she would never leave her is one of the finest examples of commitment to the wellbeing of another in all of human literature.
In that story Ruth perfectly illustrates for us what it means to take "final responsibility" for a widow: "Where you go, I will go...where you die, I will die..."
So what about the widows in our churches? "Are we our widows' keepers?" Are we to make the same kind of commitment to our widows that Ruth made to Naomi?
The clear biblical answer is yes. The Old Testament expresses again and again God's heart for widows (Deut. 1:18; Ps 10:14, 18; 68:5). But it isn't until the early church that we finally see their needs taken seriously.
Instead of an attitude of calloused disregard, the church, like Ruth, took final responsibility for the wellbeing of its widows. That is, it assumed the role of guaranteeing their wellbeing.
We as a church need to take that same attitude today as well. For too long we have abdicated to the government our responsibility to our widows. It's time for us to reclaim our role as providers and protectors.
Cain Kills His Brother Abel
"Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”" Genesis 4:2-9
Judah Sacrifices Himself for His Brother Benjamin
"Your servant guaranteed the boy’s safety to my father. I said, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!’
Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord’s slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come on my father." Genesis 44:32-34
Ruth Sacrifices Herself for Naomi, a Widow
"Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.”
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her." Ruth 1:15-18
III. Refocus and Retrain Your Deacons for Your Widows Ministry
The New Testament makes it clear that the church regarded successfully ministering to its widows as of the highest importance (James 1:27). There are several ways we see this emphasis.
Ministry to widows appears very early in the historical narrative of the church and is mentioned several times (i.e., Acts 2, 4, 6). Meeting the needs of its widows is listed as one of the first great achievements of the church (Acts 4:34).
The New Testament dedicates long passages that give explicit instruction on how to minister to widows (Acts 6, 1 Timothy 5). The early church spent a good portion of its financial resources on ministry to widows (Acts 2, 4).
And Acts credits the rapid spread of the gospel to the church's success in this area (Acts 2:47; 6:7). Indeed, the church knew that not meeting the needs of its widows would hinder the gospel (Titus 3:14).
But the clearest evidence of how important the church regarded this ministry to its widows was the quality and status of the leadership it appointed to care for them.
The first "deacons," as they came to be called, are described in Acts 6:1-6 as "men full of the Spirit and wisdom" who were ordained to the office by the laying on of the apostles' hands.
Later, in 1 Timothy 3:8-13, Paul gives us a long list of qualifications for deacons and even for their wives (or possibly deaconesses).
According to the New Testament, then, the sole purpose of deacons is to minister to widows in the church and are to be of the highest character.
How the Church has Ignored the Original Function of Deacons
It has been two thousand years since the founding of the church and since then the church has wandered far and wide from its original focus on widows. In its place, the church has come to focus on families, especially on children. After all, the rationale goes, "children are our future."
Huge portions of a church's budget go to Christian education and youth ministry, while nothing is budgeted for widows. Staff, programing, and buildings are all primarily centered around marriage and family ministries.
The function of the office of deacon mirrors this trend in churches. Rather than focus only on widows, deacons can have a huge spectrum of responsibilities, from church administration, to programing, to building maintenance.
Consequently, while the church may give lip service to its deacons serving their widows, instead their widows often just get lost in the shuffle.
No wonder widows in churches across America feel ignored and abandoned by their church.
Restore the Biblical Focus and Function of Deacons
The apostles knew they were doing a poor job ministering to their widows. That is why they appointed seven men with sterling character to take over the ministry. For those seven men -- those first seven deacons -- making sure all the widows in their church were having their pressing needs equally met became their sole focus.
Like the apostles, the church today is also doing a poor job ministering to its widows. The solution to this problem is the same as it was two thousand years ago: make meeting the pressing needs of widows in the church the sole function of deacons.
And then, having done that, train deacons in the scriptural emphasis on widows and why it is so important to address their needs so that the church can say, "There is no needy person among us."
One way to train our deacons to minister to widows is to use New Commandment Men's Ministries' free training site at NewCommandment.org. With that site they will learn about the three types of pressing needs every church experiences, how to address the long term needs of widows, and how the love of Christ meets those needs.
Qualifications of Deacons
"Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless.
Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus." 1 Timothy 3:8-13
III. Refocus and Retrain Your Deacons for Your Widows Ministry
The New Testament makes it clear that the church regarded successfully ministering to its widows as of the highest importance (James 1:27). There are several ways we see this emphasis.
Ministry to widows appears very early in the historical narrative of the church and is mentioned several times (i.e., Acts 2, 4, 6). Meeting the needs of its widows is listed as one of the first great achievements of the church (Acts 4:34).
The New Testament dedicates long passages that give explicit instruction on how to minister to widows (Acts 6, 1 Timothy 5). The early church spent a good portion of its financial resources on ministry to widows (Acts 2, 4).
And Acts credits the rapid spread of the gospel to the church's success in this area (Acts 2:47; 6:7). Indeed, the church knew that not meeting the needs of its widows would hinder the gospel (Titus 3:14).
But the clearest evidence of how important the church regarded this ministry to its widows was the quality and status of the leadership it appointed to care for them.
The first "deacons," as they came to be called, are described in Acts 6:1-6 as "men full of the Spirit and wisdom" who were ordained to the office by the laying on of the apostles' hands.
Later, in 1 Timothy 3:8-13, Paul gives us a long list of qualifications for deacons and even for their wives (or possibly deaconesses).
According to the New Testament, then, the sole purpose of deacons is to minister to widows in the church and are to be of the highest character.
How the Church has Ignored the Original Function of Deacons
It has been two thousand years since the founding of the church and since then the church has wandered far and wide from its original focus on widows. In its place, the church has come to focus on families, especially on children. After all, the rationale goes, "children are our future."
Huge portions of a church's budget go to Christian education and youth ministry, while nothing is budgeted for widows. Staff, programing, and buildings are all primarily centered around marriage and family ministries.
The function of the office of deacon mirrors this trend in churches. Rather than focus only on widows, deacons can have a huge spectrum of responsibilities, from church administration, to programing, to building maintenance.
Consequently, while the church may give lip service to its deacons serving their widows, instead their widows often just get lost in the shuffle.
No wonder widows in churches across America feel ignored and abandoned by their church.
Restore the Biblical Focus and Function of Deacons
The apostles knew they were doing a poor job ministering to their widows. That is why they appointed seven men with sterling character to take over the ministry. For those seven men -- those first seven deacons -- making sure all the widows in their church were having their pressing needs equally met became their sole focus.
Like the apostles, the church today is also doing a poor job ministering to its widows. The solution to this problem is the same as it was two thousand years ago: make meeting the pressing needs of widows in the church the sole function of deacons.
And then, having done that, train deacons in the scriptural emphasis on widows and why it is so important to address their needs so that the church can say, "There is no needy person among us."
One way to train our deacons to minister to widows is to have them go to NewCommandment.org where they can learn about the three types of pressing needs every church experiences, how to address the long term needs of widows, and how the love of Christ meets those needs.
Founding of the Office of Deacon
"In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, 'It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.
This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.
So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith." Acts 6:1-7
Qualifications of Deacons
"Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless.
Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus." 1 Timothy 3:8-13
IV. Do a Needs Analysis for Your Widows
The first step in meeting the pressing needs of widows in the church is finding out what those pressing needs are. The person who knows the congregation best -- usually the pastor or, in larger congregations, the staff member in charge of congregational care -- should make a list of all the widows in the church and then, in conjunction with the newly focused and trained deacons, do what I call a "needs analysis."
In my experience, there are at least three types of pressing needs that widows often struggle with as a result of their husband's death: emotional and spiritual trauma, social isolation, and financial deprivation.
Each widow in the church needs to be evaluated to determine their level of exposure to these three possible types of needs.
Is there Emotional and Spiritual Trauma?
The first widow I ever ministered to was Alice. Her husband had recently died and I remember going to her home on different occasions to try to console her. But she was inconsolable. "Some widows are glad their husband died. But I loved my husband and I miss him terribly," she would tell me.
Alice was right. A few widows are indeed glad their husband has died. But for the majority of widows, the death of their husband is a tragic, gut wrenching event. Whether the death happened suddenly, or was because of a long illness, the end result is the same: loss. Loss of a person. Loss of relationship. Loss of love. And loss of companionship.
The question to ask here is, as you have observed your widows individually over time, how well are they adjusting to widowhood.
Is there Social Isolation?
By definition, a widow is going to be more socially isolated after the death of her husband. But often widowhood isolates a woman from others as well. Perhaps she and her husband had couples as friends. Those couples can feel awkward around their newly widowed friend and drift away.
Sometimes widows self-isolate by no longer attending church and no longer associating with friends.
Sometimes widows have no surviving family members, or their adult children and grandchildren may not live in close proximity to them, or they may be estranged from their mother and refuse to help with her support.
Is there Financial Deprivation?
Widowhood often also means reduced income. Finances are a sensitive subject for most women. But the telltale signs of financial distress soon manifest themselves, such as undone house maintenance, lack of funds for a car repair, and multiple requests for financial help from the benevolence committee.
Then Prioritize the Need
Now take the list of widows in your church and make a second list, prioritizing the widows from the first list.
Any widows who are struggling with deep emotional issues, who are completely isolated -- without any friends or family members to help them out -- and who are receiving only minimal Social Security, should go at the very top of the list. They are the ones who need immediate and extensive help.
On the other hand, widows who are handling their grief well, who have helpful friends and family members interacting with them on a regular basis, and who are relatively well off financially, should go on the bottom. They shouldn't be ignored, of course, but their needs are not as severe as those on top.
Other widows will be stronger in one or two categories and less strong in one or two more. For example, a widow may be self sufficient financially, but completely isolated. She shouldn't be ignored just because she has enough to live on.
Or a widow may be happy and well connected with the church, her friends, and family, but suffering financially. That need should be addressed by the church for her as well.
This process of needs analysis for widows in the church should be done at least annually, if not more often.
Widows who are Really in Need
"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need....
If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need." 1 Timothy 5:3, 16
IV. Do a Needs Analysis for Your Widows
The first step in meeting the pressing needs of widows in the church is finding out what those pressing needs are. The person who knows the congregation best -- usually the pastor or, in larger congregations, the staff member in charge of congregational care -- should make a list of all the widows in the church and then, in conjunction with the newly focused and trained deacons, do what I call a "needs analysis."
In my experience, there are at least three types of pressing needs that widows often struggle with as a result of their husband's death: emotional and spiritual trauma, social isolation, and financial deprivation.
Each widow in the church needs to be evaluated to determine their level of exposure to these three possible types of needs.
Is there Emotional and Spiritual Trauma?
The first widow I ever ministered to was Alice. Her husband had recently died and I remember going to her home on different occasions to try to console her. But she was inconsolable. "Some widows are glad their husband died. But I loved my husband and I miss him terribly," she would tell me.
Alice was right. A few widows are indeed glad their husband has died. But for the majority of widows, the death of their husband is a tragic, gut wrenching event. Whether the death happened suddenly, or was because of a long illness, the end result is the same: loss. Loss of a person. Loss of relationship. Loss of love. And loss of companionship.
The question to ask here is, as you have observed your widows individually over time, how well are they adjusting to widowhood.
Is there Social Isolation?
By definition, a widow is going to be more socially isolated after the death of her husband. But often widowhood isolates a woman from others as well. Perhaps she and her husband had couples as friends. Those couples can feel awkward around their newly widowed friend and drift away.
Sometimes widows self-isolate by no longer attending church and no longer associating with friends.
Sometimes widows have no surviving family members, or their adult children and grandchildren may not live in close proximity to them, or they may be estranged from their mother and refuse to help with her support.
Is there Financial Deprivation?
Widowhood often also means reduced income. Finances are a sensitive subject for most women. But the telltale signs of financial distress soon manifest themselves, such as undone house maintenance, lack of funds for a car repair, and multiple requests for financial help from the benevolence committee.
Then Prioritize the Need
Now take the list of widows in your church and make a second list, prioritizing the widows from the first list.
Any widows who are struggling with deep emotional issues, who are completely isolated -- without any friends or family members to help them out -- and who are receiving only minimal Social Security, should go at the very top of the list. They are the ones who need immediate and extensive help.
On the other hand, widows who are handling their grief well, who have helpful friends and family members interacting with them on a regular basis, and who are relatively well off financially, should go on the bottom. They shouldn't be ignored, of course, but their needs are not as severe as those on top.
Other widows will be stronger in one or two categories and less strong in one or two more. For example, a widow may be self sufficient financially, but completely isolated. She shouldn't be ignored just because she has enough to live on.
Or a widow may be happy and well connected with the church, her friends, and family, but suffering financially. That need should be addressed by the church for her as well.
This process of needs analysis for widows in the church should be done at least annually, if not more often.
Widows who are Really in Need
"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need....
If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need." 1 Timothy 5:3, 16
V. Take Concrete Action on Behalf of Your Widows
With Respect to Emotional and Spiritual Trauma
In the past, the pastor and pastoral staff were regarded as the primary care providers for those grieving over the loss of a loved one. While in many ways pastors still fulfill this role, God has also raised up some excellent ministries to help new widows navigate the treacherous waters of grief.
GriefShare
GriefShare (griefshare.org) provides church-based support groups for people who have suffered loss. The groups meet once a week. Participants watch a video by an expert on grief and afterwards discuss the material that was presented. During the week, the support group participants spend time journaling to help them sort out their feelings.
Stephen Ministries
Stephen Ministries (stephenministries.org) is another effective and well known ministry that has been around for forty-five years. Stephen Ministries trains lay members in a congregation to walk alongside others in the church who are going through difficult times. A care receiver meets with their Stephen Minister for one hour once a week to share their burdens with them.
Quoting from its website: "Stephen Ministry offers a proven and effective way to organize, equip, and supervise a team of congregation members—called Stephen Ministers—to provide high-quality, one-to-one, Christ-centered care to people in the congregation and the community experiencing life difficulties."
Widow Connection
Widow Connection (widowconnection.com), founded by Miriam Neff, provides resources for new widows in the form of books, DVDs, journals, and a radio podcast that is heard on 1,200 stations. Her book, From One Widow to Another, Conversations on the New You, is an excellent resource for new widows.
Pastoral Counseling and Home Visitation
Most pastors have received some form of training in pastoral counseling and make themselves available for counseling sessions. In advanced cases of psychological trauma, pastors normally refer out to psychologists and psychiatrists.
Some churches still make in-home visits, which can be very comforting and also valuable in better assessing the needs of the widow.
With Respect to Social Isolation
Affinity and Life Stage Groups
Affinity groups are groups that are centered around common interests. A church quilting group is an affinity group that widows sometimes form. Life stage groups, on the other hand, are groups centered on a specific life stage, like teens, young adults, and married with children. Churches often provide a life stage group for widows and widowers.
Intergenerational Ministry
Church ministries, especially life stage ministries, tend to be "siloed Ministries." That is, they can isolate believers into their own groups that have little relation to each other, resulting in limiting the kinds of relationships widows have with other believers in the church.
Intergenerational ministry, on the other hand, seeks to mix people in different life stages so they can learn from, and minister to, each other. Every generation, whether young or old, has something to offer and something to gain from others.
Mixing generations in small home groups can be an excellent way to create intergenerational ministry.
A Chosen Generation (achosengeneration.info), founded by Dr. Chuck Stecker, helps churches adjust their programming to accomplish intergenerational ministry.
Nursing Home Weekly Bible Studies
As widows age, they often move into local nursing homes. One way my former pastor maintained contact with our church members in our neighborhood nursing home was to hold a weekly Bible study in the facility at noon on Wednesdays. I've often thought that this was an excellent way to maintain contact with our seniors in the home as well as giving him an opportunity to reach out to the other residents.
Men’s Team Ministry
Imagine being a widow and having your own team of four men show up at your door on a Saturday morning to do whatever needs to be done around your home, and then they come back every month for as long as you need them.
Through its online membership training site at newcommandment.org, New Commandment Men's Ministries provides this type of ministry. It helps churches recruit, train, organize and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt widows and others with long term needs in their church. You can watch this introductory video to learn more.
With Respect to Financial Deprivation
Benevolence Ministry Vs. Long-Term Financial Support for Widows
When it comes to the financial security of older widows in the congregation, churches in the United States have taken a standoff approach to helping them. The unspoken assumptions are that widows have Social Security and probably their own retirement funds to rely on.
If those resources aren't enough, widows can possibly work and/or get help from their adult children or other relatives. And finally, if there is a financial emergency beyond even those resources, widows can get temporary help from the church benevolence committee.
Unfortunately, many widows in the U.S. live on minimal Social Security alone. According to the U. S. Census Bureau, almost a million widows live on less than $11,756 in annual income. I am certain that a good percentage of those widows attend churches.
These widows are in dire need and require more from the church than just one time outlays from the benevolence committee every now and then. Instead, they need regular financial support from the church.
But how can the church possibly provide ongoing financial support for its widows? My answer is that the church is already doing something very similar to that.
Most churches have missionaries that they support financially with large missionary budgets. If a church can do that for missionaries, then why not for its widows?
In addition, individuals within churches often also support missionaries. If individuals can do that, then why can't individual church members also consider supporting widows of their choosing?
Another example of the church providing support for individuals is Compassion International, where members of churches adopt children in foreign countries and provide them with monthly financial support. Again, if individuals can financially support foreign children, then why not their own widows?
Estimate a Supplemental Stipend for Widows
At this point, the newly focused and trained deacons need to step in and research what the true poverty level is for their region and propose a supplemental amount of money for their widows who are on minimal Social Security.
Assign Widows to a Widows List
Deacons are also responsible for which widows should receive the supplemental stipend using the widows list of qualifications in 1 Timothy 5 as a guide. Special attention should be given to contacting the children (and other relatives) of the widow for the purpose of reminding them of their responsibility to support their mother (1 Timothy 5:8).
Create a Church Budget Line Item for Widows
And finally, once the church has gone through these steps, it needs to fund the widows ministry by including a line item for widows in its annual budget. Nothing says commitment like a budget line item.
V. Take Concrete Action on Behalf of Your Widows
With Respect to Emotional and Spiritual Trauma
In the past, the pastor and pastoral staff were regarded as the primary care providers for those grieving over the loss of a loved one. While in many ways pastors still fulfill this role, God has also raised up some excellent ministries to help new widows navigate the treacherous waters of grief.
GriefShare
GriefShare (griefshare.org) provides church-based support groups for people who have suffered loss. The groups meet once a week. Participants watch a video by an expert on grief and afterwards discuss the material that was presented. During the week, the support group participants spend time journaling to help them sort out their feelings.
Stephen Ministries
Stephen Ministries (stephenministries.org) is another effective and well known ministry that has been around for forty-five years. Stephen Ministries trains lay members in a congregation to walk alongside others in the church who are going through difficult times. A care receiver meets with their Stephen Minister for one hour once a week to share their burdens with them.
Quoting from its website: "Stephen Ministry offers a proven and effective way to organize, equip, and supervise a team of congregation members—called Stephen Ministers—to provide high-quality, one-to-one, Christ-centered care to people in the congregation and the community experiencing life difficulties."
Widow Connection
Widow Connection (widowconnection.com), founded by Miriam Neff, provides resources for new widows in the form of books, DVDs, journals, and a radio podcast that is heard on 1,200 stations. Her book, From One Widow to Another, Conversations on the New You, is an excellent resource for new widows.
Pastoral Counseling and Home Visitation
Most pastors have received some form of training in pastoral counseling and make themselves available for counseling sessions. In advanced cases of psychological trauma, pastors normally refer out to psychologists and psychiatrists.
Some churches still make in-home visits, which can be very comforting and also valuable in better assessing the needs of the widow.
With Respect to Social Isolation
Affinity and Life Stage Groups
Affinity groups are groups that are centered around common interests. A church quilting group is an affinity group that widows sometimes form. Life stage groups, on the other hand, are groups centered on a specific life stage, like teens, young adults, and married with children. Churches often provide a life stage group for widows and widowers.
Intergenerational Ministry
Church ministries, especially life stage ministries, tend to be "siloed Ministries." That is, they can isolate believers into their own groups that have little relation to each other, resulting in limiting the kinds of relationships widows have with other believers in the church.
Intergenerational ministry, on the other hand, seeks to mix people in different life stages so they can learn from, and minister to, each other. Every generation, whether young or old, has something to offer and something to gain from others.
Mixing generations in small home groups can be an excellent way to create intergenerational ministry.
A Chosen Generation (achosengeneration.info), founded by Dr. Chuck Stecker, helps churches adjust their programming to accomplish intergenerational ministry.
Nursing Home Weekly Bible Studies
As widows age, they often move into local nursing homes. One way my former pastor maintained contact with our church members in our neighborhood nursing home was to hold a weekly Bible study in the facility at noon on Wednesdays. I've often thought that this was an excellent way to maintain contact with our seniors in the home as well as giving him an opportunity to reach out to the other residents.
Men’s Team Ministry
Imagine being a widow and having your own team of four men show up at your door on a Saturday morning to do whatever needs to be done around your home, and then they come back every month for as long as you need them.
Through its online membership training site at newcommandment.org, New Commandment Men's Ministries provides this type of ministry. It helps churches recruit, train, organize and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt widows and others with long term needs in their church. You can watch this introductory video to learn more.
With Respect to Financial Deprivation
Benevolence Ministry Vs. Long-Term Financial Support for Widows
When it comes to the financial security of older widows in the congregation, churches in the United States have taken a standoff approach to helping them. The unspoken assumptions are that widows have Social Security and probably their own retirement funds to rely on.
If those resources aren't enough, widows can possibly work and/or get help from their adult children or other relatives. And finally, if there is a financial emergency beyond even those resources, widows can get temporary help from the church benevolence committee.
Unfortunately, many widows in the U.S. live on minimal Social Security alone. According to the U. S. Census Bureau, almost a million widows live on less than $11,756 in annual income. I am certain that a good percentage of those widows attend churches.
These widows are in dire need and require more from the church than just one time outlays from the benevolence committee every now and then. Instead, they need regular financial support from the church.
But how can the church possibly provide ongoing financial support for its widows? My answer is that the church is already doing something very similar to that.
Most churches have missionaries that they support financially with large missionary budgets. If a church can do that for missionaries, then why not for its widows?
In addition, individuals within churches often also support missionaries. If individuals can do that, then why can't individual church members also consider supporting widows of their choosing?
Another example of the church providing support for individuals is Compassion International, where members of churches adopt children in foreign countries and provide them with monthly financial support. Again, if individuals can financially support foreign children, then why not their own widows?
Estimate a Supplemental Stipend for Widows
At this point, the newly focused and trained deacons need to step in and research what the true poverty level is for their region and propose a supplemental amount of money for their widows who are on minimal Social Security.
Assign Widows to a Widows List
Deacons are also responsible for which widows should receive the supplemental stipend using the widows list of qualifications in 1 Timothy 5 as a guide. Special attention should be given to contacting the children (and other relatives) of the widow for the purpose of reminding them of their responsibility to support their mother (1 Timothy 5:8).
Create a Church Budget Line Item for Widows
And finally, once the church has gone through these steps, it needs to fund the widows ministry by including a line item for widows in its annual budget. Nothing says commitment like a budget line item.
VI. Plan Your Widows Ministry for the Long Haul
The needs of widows are in a special class of pressing needs that I call "long term needs." Widows can live for years and even decades after the death of their husband and therefore their needs can last that long as well.
The goal of any church should be to be able to meet these needs consistently and effectively for as long as those needs exist so that the church can say along with the early church, "There is no needy person among us" (Acts 4:34-35; Titus 3:14). This means that the church must establish a widows ministry that lasts for decades.
However, too often churches treat the needs of widows as if they are one time projects or one time outlays. A widow has a broken window and so the church sends someone over to fix her window. Or a widow can't afford to fix her car and so the benevolence committee gives her money so she can have it fixed.
But a comprehensive church-based widows ministry puts in place stable and effective programs, procedures, volunteers and financial resources to address the long term emotional, social and financial needs of its widows.
A deacon ministry that is dedicated solely to responding to these types of needs will go a long way to enabling the church to achieve this long term goal.
Another ministry that has proven successful in meeting the long term needs of widows is New Commandment Men's Ministries. Its goal is to provide a team of men who adopt a widow and serve her for two hours one Saturday morning a month, returning every month to the same widow for as long as she needs them. Many times teams serve their widow for five, ten, fifteen years, or more.
VI. Plan for the Long Haul
The needs of widows are in a special class of pressing needs that I call "long term needs." Widows can live for years and even decades after the death of their husband and therefore their needs can last that long as well.
The goal of any church should be to be able to meet these needs consistently and effectively for as long as those needs exist so that the church can say along with the early church, "There is no needy person among us" (Acts 4:34-35; Titus 3:14). This means that the church must establish a widows ministry that lasts for decades.
However, too often churches treat the needs of widows as if they are one time projects or one time outlays. A widow has a broken window and so the church sends someone over to fix her window. Or a widow can't afford to fix her car and so the benevolence committee gives her money so she can have it fixed.
But a comprehensive church-based widows ministry puts in place stable and effective programs, procedures, volunteers and financial resources to address the long term emotional, social and financial needs of its widows.
A deacon ministry that is dedicated solely to responding to these types of needs will go a long way to enabling the church to achieve this long term goal.
Another ministry that has proven successful in meeting the long term needs of widows is New Commandment Men's Ministries. Its goal is to provide a team of men who adopt a widow and serve her for two hours one Saturday morning a month, returning every month to the same widow for as long as she needs them. Many times teams serve their widow for five, ten, fifteen years, or more.
VII. Widow Advocates
One result of New Commandment's men's team ministry to widows is that over the course of months and years the men on the widow's team become the church "experts" on her needs. They come to know and understand her in the context of her everyday life. They not only learn what her needs are, but why she has those needs, making her team members perfect advocates for her.
Scripture tells us that we are to "defend" and "plead the cause" of widows and orphans (Isaiah 1:18). This means that we are to be their advocates. Thus, if a team serves a widow that has a need they cannot meet, we train them to advocate for their widow by finding other people, organizations, and resources to help meet the need.
In this way the widow knows that the church is standing behind her and, without even having to ask, help her with whatever pressing needs she has.
Biblical Advocacy
"Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:18
He Made the Widow's Heart Sing
"Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me, because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow’s heart sing." Job 29:11-13
The Vow of a Righteous Man
"If I have denied the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary, if I have kept my bread to myself, not sharing it with the fatherless—but from my youth I reared him as would a father, and from my birth I guided the widow—if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing, or a needy man without a garment, and his heart did not bless me for warming him with the fleece from my sheep, if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, knowing that I had influence in court, then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint." Job 31:16-22
VII. Widow Advocates
One result of New Commandment's men's team ministry to widows is that over the course of months and years the men on the widow's team become the church "experts" on her needs. They come to know and understand her in the context of her everyday life. They not only learn what her needs are, but why she has those needs, making her team members perfect advocates for her.
Scripture tells us that we are to "defend" and "plead the cause" of widows and orphans (Isaiah 1:18). This means that we are to be their advocates. Thus, if a team serves a widow that has a need they cannot meet, we train them to advocate for their widow by finding other people, organizations, and resources to help meet the need.
In this way the widow knows that the church is standing behind her and, without even having to ask, help her with whatever pressing needs she has.
Biblical Advocacy
"Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:18
He Made the Widow's Heart Sing
"Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me, because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow’s heart sing." Job 29:11-13
The Vow of a Righteous Man
"If I have denied the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary, if I have kept my bread to myself, not sharing it with the fatherless—but from my youth I reared him as would a father, and from my birth I guided the widow—if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing, or a needy man without a garment, and his heart did not bless me for warming him with the fleece from my sheep, if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, knowing that I had influence in court, then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint." Job 31:16-22
VIII. This is a Successful Widows Ministry
Let's summarize. A widow in a church with this type of comprehensive widows ministry will most likely begin her journey as a widow with a funeral for her husband and a family meal for her family and friends. And people will send her cards and flowers and offer their condolences.
But this is only the beginning.
Organized by the church deacons, whose only mission is to meet the needs of its widows, the church hosts a support group for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Individual one-on-one weekly ministry by trained lay care givers is available too. If necessary, a widow can get pastoral care and in-home visits by deacons as well. And published resources covering the intricacies and difficulties of entering widowhood are available.
Stage of life programming at the church combines both groups and activities designed specifically for widows, as well as intergenerational groups that widows can get involved in.
Widows with one-time financial needs can ask the benevolence committee for help. Widows living in poverty are included on the church widows list to receive a supplementary monthly stipend. In addition, members of the church have received encouragement from the pulpit to generously and personally support individual widows in the church.
Widows with persistent needs receive a team of men who come once a month to do whatever projects need to be done around their homes and also to pray with and fellowship with them. Each team returns every month to the same widow for years if need be, resulting in deep friendships with their care receiver.
Each widow in the church has her spiritual, emotional, social and physical needs met because there are people in her church who know her well, visit her and serve her regularly in her home -- thereby demonstrating commitment to her -- and who show a willingness to sacrifice for her and be her advocate.
If the time comes for the widow to relocate to a local nursing home, a deacon, staff member or lay person from the church shows up in the nursing home once a week to lead a bible study and pray with her and her fellow residents.
As a result of the love and care the church has shown its widows, relatives, neighbors and friends of the widows come to Christ and fill rows of pews on Sunday morning.
In conclusion, a while back, my church, which has a large men's team ministry to its widows, held a breakfast for the care receivers and their teams. After we finished eating, three widows stood up and told us that they used to be depressed, but because they now had their team of men backing them up, they weren't depressed anymore.
People coming to Christ and the needs of widows being met with the love of Christ -- that is a successful ministry to widows.
VIII. This is a Successful Widows Ministry
Let's summarize. A widow in a church with this type of comprehensive widows ministry will most likely begin her journey as a widow with a funeral for her husband and a family meal for her family and friends. And people will send her cards and flowers and offer their condolences.
But this is only the beginning.
Organized by the church deacons, whose only mission is to meet the needs of its widows, the church hosts a support group for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Individual one-on-one weekly ministry by trained lay care givers is available too. If necessary, a widow can get pastoral care and in-home visits by deacons as well. And published resources covering the intricacies and difficulties of entering widowhood are available.
Stage of life programming at the church combines both groups and activities designed specifically for widows, as well as intergenerational groups that widows can get involved in.
Widows with one-time financial needs can ask the benevolence committee for help. Widows living in poverty are included on the church widows list to receive a supplementary monthly stipend. In addition, members of the church have received encouragement from the pulpit to generously and personally support individual widows in the church.
Widows with persistent needs receive a team of men who come once a month to do whatever projects need to be done around their homes and also to pray with and fellowship with them. Each team returns every month to the same widow for years if need be, resulting in deep friendships with their care receiver.
Each widow in the church has her spiritual, emotional, social and physical needs met because there are people in her church who know her well, visit her and serve her regularly in her home -- thereby demonstrating commitment to her -- and who show a willingness to sacrifice for her and be her advocate.
If the time comes for the widow to relocate to a local nursing home, a deacon, staff member or lay person from the church shows up in the nursing home once a week to lead a bible study and pray with her and her fellow residents.
As a result of the love and care the church has shown its widows, relatives, neighbors and friends of the widows come to Christ and fill rows of pews on Sunday morning.
In conclusion, a while back, my church, which has a large men's team ministry to its widows, held a breakfast for the care receivers and their teams. After we finished eating, three widows stood up and told us that they used to be depressed, but because they now had their team of men backing them up, they weren't depressed anymore.
People coming to Christ and the needs of widows being met with the love of Christ -- that is a successful ministry to widows.
IX. No One Said Widows Ministry Would be Easy
We read in Ephesians 2:10 that God has saved us to do the good work he has planned for us. It is clear from just a superficial reading of the New Testament that a good portion of those plans involve widows.
The operative word in the term "good work" is work. Ministry to widows is work. And sometimes it is very hard work. It also involves personnel, time, attention and money.
Like any church today, the early church had families and children to consider. The early church needed places to meet, ministers who could lead and preach, worship services that needed to be organized, congregants who needed to be discipled, persecution that had to be endured, conflicts that had to be resolved, and on and on.
But the one ministry the early church devoted the most attention and resources to was its ministry to widows. In many cases, that required extreme sacrifice.
The end result? Blessing upon blessing and the transformation of their entire culture.
We have been Saved to Do Good Work
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10
And it is Hard Work
"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak." Acts 20:35
IX. No One Said Widows Ministry Would be Easy
We read in Ephesians 2:10 that God has saved us to do the good work he has planned for us. It is clear from just a superficial reading of the New Testament that a good portion of those plans involve widows.
The operative word in the term "good work" is work. Ministry to widows is work. And sometimes it is very hard work. It also involves personnel, time, attention and money.
Like any church today, the early church had families and children to consider. The early church needed places to meet, ministers who could lead and preach, worship services that needed to be organized, congregants who needed to be discipled, persecution that had to be endured, conflicts that had to be resolved, and on and on.
But the one ministry the early church devoted the most attention and resources to was its ministry to widows. In many cases, that required extreme sacrifice.
The end result? Blessing upon blessing and the transformation of their entire culture.
We have been Saved to Do Good Work
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10
And it is Hard Work
"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak." Acts 20:35
X. Pastors, Set the Example for Your Widows Ministry
Pastors, you play an important role in setting the tone of the church with respect to your widows. Toward that end, I am going to ask you to do something radical: go out and take a second part-time job -- any job -- for three months and donate your income to your widows ministry.
Or maybe you are already a bi-vocational pastor. Then you also need to donate some of your income from your second job to the widows in your church.
"Ouch! Really?" I am sure you are thinking. "You want me to take a second job for three months? I'm the senior pastor of our church. I have an incredible amount of responsibility already. I've been in ministry for thirty years. I have seven years of college and seminary training and you want me to take some menial job and donate the proceeds to our widows?"
Yes I do. I have done this myself. Here is my story. Was it humbling? Very. But it was also one of the most meaningful experiences I have ever had in my spiritual journey.
And by the way, taking a second job in order to help widows is also scriptural. The apostle Paul himself did the same thing with his tent trade that I am asking you to do and then he commanded the elders in Ephesus to follow his example (Acts 20:32-35).
Even Young Pastors are to Set the Example
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy" 4:12
Paul as an Example
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive,' Acts 20:32-35.
X. Pastors, Set the Example for Your Widows Ministry
Pastors, you play an important role in setting the tone of the church with respect to your widows. Toward that end, I am going to ask you to do something radical: go out and take a second part-time job -- any job -- for three months and donate your income to your widows ministry.
Or maybe you are already a bi-vocational pastor. Then you also need to donate some of your income from your second job to the widows in your church.
"Ouch! Really?" I am sure you are thinking. "You want me to take a second job for three months? I'm the senior pastor of our church. I have an incredible amount of responsibility already. I've been in ministry for thirty years. I have seven years of college and seminary training and you want me to take some menial job and donate the proceeds to our widows?"
Yes I do. I have done this myself. Here is my story. Was it humbling? Very. But it was also one of the most meaningful experiences I have ever had in my spiritual journey.
And by the way, taking a second job in order to help widows is also scriptural. The apostle Paul himself did the same thing with his tent trade that I am asking you to do and then he commanded the elders in Ephesus to follow his example (Acts 20:32-35).
Even Young Pastors are to Set the Example
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy" 4:12
Paul as an Example
"Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive,' Acts 20:32-35.
XI. A Word of Encouragement for Small Churches
I've been writing and speaking on this subject of meeting the needs of widows and others with long term needs for many years now and one time someone responded with the following comment:
"Herb, don't forget that many small churches have difficulty keeping the doors open and the pastor fed. Without wisdom in the matter this could add a real difficulty to those small churches and the widows who are shut in or have no church."
I can identify well with this objection because I was once the pastor of a very small church. My first church had less than fifty people in it and it paid me poverty-level wages. In fact, I made less money annually in that church than I paid in taxes the year before I took it.
Nevertheless, here's a startling assertion: even a small church can and should meet the pressing needs of its widows.
Here are two basic principles every small church should consider.
First: The Bible does not distinguish between large and small churches when it commands us to meet the pressing needs of people in our congregations.
Almost all churches in the New Testament were small house churches. And the largest church - the Jerusalem church - was the poorest one of all.
Nevertheless, the New Testament has multiple references to believers meeting each other's needs. (i.e., Acts 4:34-37; 6:1-6; 20:32-35; 2 Corinthians 9; 1 Timothy 6:17-19; Titus 3:14; 1 Timothy 5, etc.)
And second: Small churches need to take 2 Corinthians 9:8 at face value. "God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
This is an amazing promise that guarantees success to any church, large or small, that sets out to meet the genuine pressing needs in its midst.
I witnessed God fulfill this promise time and again in my small church and He will faithfully fulfill it in yours as well.
God is Able when You are Not
"God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
XI. A Word of Encouragement for Small Churches
I've been writing and speaking on this subject of meeting the needs of widows and others with long term needs for many years now and one time someone responded with the following comment:
"Herb, don't forget that many small churches have difficulty keeping the doors open and the pastor fed. Without wisdom in the matter this could add a real difficulty to those small churches and the widows who are shut in or have no church."
I can identify well with this objection because I was once the pastor of a very small church. My first church had less than fifty people in it and it paid me poverty-level wages. In fact, I made less money annually in that church than I paid in taxes the year before I took it.
Nevertheless, here's a startling assertion: even a small church can and should meet the pressing needs of its widows.
Here are two basic principles every small church should consider.
First: The Bible does not distinguish between large and small churches when it commands us to meet the pressing needs of people in our congregations.
Almost all churches in the New Testament were small house churches. And the largest church - the Jerusalem church - was the poorest one of all.
Nevertheless, the New Testament has multiple references to believers meeting each other's needs. (i.e., Acts 4:34-37; 6:1-6; 20:32-35; 2 Corinthians 9; 1 Timothy 6:17-19; Titus 3:14; 1 Timothy 5, etc.)
And second: Small churches need to take 2 Corinthians 9:8 at face value. "God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
This is an amazing promise that guarantees success to any church, large or small, that sets out to meet the genuine pressing needs in its midst.
I witnessed God fulfill this promise time and again in my small church and He will faithfully fulfill it in yours as well.
God is Able when You are Not
"God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
XII. What about Others with Long Term Needs?
This article has focused solely on widows. The reason is because there are numerous passages of scripture that focus solely on widows. Acts 6 and 1 Timothy 5 are examples.
But clearly, there may be many others in the church who have long term needs as well, such as widowers, single parents, fatherless children and the physically and mentally disabled.
While the Bible gives priority to widows, there are also several passages that include the needs of others. For example, when we read in Acts 4:34 that "there were no needy people among them," Luke clearly intends for us to understand not just needy widows, but needy people in the church in general.
Biblical passages referring to the "the poor" (Galatians 2:10) and "the weak" (Psalm 82:3) also describe a larger group of people with long term needs than just widows.
Therefore we need to understand that most of the principles I have been discussing in this article apply to others in the church with long term needs as well.
Defend the Weak
"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed." Psalm 82:3
Remember the Poor
"All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I had been eager to do all along." Galatians 2:10
XII. What about Others with Long Term Needs?
This article has focused solely on widows. The reason is because there are numerous passages of scripture that focus solely on widows. Acts 6 and 1 Timothy 5 are examples.
But clearly, there may be many others in the church who have long term needs as well, such as widowers, single parents, fatherless children and the physically and mentally disabled.
While the Bible gives priority to widows, there are also several passages that include the needs of others. For example, when we read in Acts 4:34 that "there were no needy people among them," Luke clearly intends for us to understand not just needy widows, but needy people in the church in general.
Biblical passages referring to the "the poor" (Galatians 2:10) and "the weak" (Psalm 82:3) also describe a larger group of people with long term needs than just widows.
Therefore we need to understand that most of the principles I have been discussing in this article apply to others in the church with long term needs as well.
Defend the Weak
"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed." Psalm 82:3
Remember the Poor
"All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I had been eager to do all along." Galatians 2:10
XIII. "This has National Implications!"
During one of my very first workshops on men's team ministry to the widowed and single parents, a man suddenly shouted out, "This has national implications!"
He was exactly right. For example, there are 300,000 churches in America. If just 5 widows in each church received a team of men, then there would be 6 million men serving 1.5 million widows. Imagine the testimony that would be!
In fact, according to Isaiah 1:16-18, the implications of 1.5 million teams of men "pleading the cause of their widow" go much farther than just having a great testimony to our country. It means that God will totally transform our culture for good.
When I was a child I memorized Isaiah 1:18 and thought it referred to my personal salvation. But while it is true that when we come to faith in Christ God makes our sins "as white as snow," personal salvation is not what this passage is talking about.
Looking at the passage in the context of the entire chapter, we see that Isaiah 1 is talking about the moral and spiritual depravity of Judah's entire culture. Therefore, verse 18 is not talking about personal salvation, but about cultural transformation.
God is saying, "I don't want to have to bring you into court, Judah, and judge you for your sin. Instead, settle with me out of court. Take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow. If you do that, I will transform your culture and make your sins as white as snow."
Unfortunately, Judah didn't do that. It didn't "settle out of court" and consequently it suffered the awful wrath of God's judgment.
But do you know who did "take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow"? The early church did. And what happened? God did in fact transform their culture.
God is making that same promise to us Christians today. We live in dark times here in America. But God is saying to the church, "Take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow." If we do that, Isaiah 1:16-18 says that He will transform our culture just like he did for the early church.
Do you believe that? I know I do. And if we believe it, then it's time to take action.
God Makes a Deal with Judah
"Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.
Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." Isaiah 1:16-18
Bibliography
(An underlined title is a link to my review of the book.)
Caring for Widows: Ministering God's Grace, Brian Croft and Austin Walker, Crossway, Kindle Edition
Developing a Men's Team Ministry to Widows, Widowers, and Single Moms (Video and Workbook), Herb Reese
From One Widow to Another: Conversations on the New You, Miriam Neff, Moody Publishers (Read my interview with Miriam Neff.)
The Group of Seven: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life, Donald L. Rosenstein and Justin M. Yopp
The Ministry of a Baptist Deacon: A Handbook for Local Church Servant Leaders, Paul Chappell, Striving Together Publications
Where Do I Go From Here? Bold Living after Unwanted Change, Miriam Neff, Moody Publishers
A Great Ministry Idea
For the past nineteen years New Commandment Men’s Ministries has helped hundreds of churches throughout North America and around the world recruit, train, organize, and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt widows, single moms and fatherless children in their congregations for the purpose of donating two hours of service to them one Saturday morning each month. We accomplish this with an online training site at newcommandment.org.
About the Author
Herb Reese is an ordained minister, author, blogger, public speaker, and President of New Commandment Men's Ministries. Herb has a B.A. in History from UCLA and a Th.M. in Pastoral Ministries from Dallas Theological Seminary. He has done post graduate work in The History of Ideas at University of Texas, Dallas and in Church Administration at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. After serving as a pastor for twenty years, Herb founded New Commandment Men's Ministries, a ministry dedicated to helping churches recruit, train, organize and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt their widowed and single parents. Herb has served as President of New Commandment since 2003 and has helped 1,000 churches develop men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents in all 50 states and eight foreign countries. Herb and his wife, Patti, have three grown children and live in Arvada, Colorado.
This page first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus, come.
Men's Team Ministry Testimonies
Enthusiastic Widows
"Our widows have been very enthusiastic in their praise for the ministry. They have spoken both with great joy and, at times, tears when describing the impact their teams have had." -Mick, Trinity Church, Kelona, BC, Canada
Eight Years of Service
“Eight years ago my team adopted our first care receiver: a single woman in her 70s. We have built a wonderful relationship over the years, and our promise to her was that we would come by to help the second Saturday of each month for the rest of her life (as needed). We have changed light bulbs, fixed plumbing issues, built a porch, mowed and taken care of numerous issues over the years. She told us, 'If it weren't for you, my ‘Earth Angels’, I would have never been able to stay in my house."' -Lee
Guys Genuinely Love It
"Many of the guys have been doing this since near the time we were founded and they love it – they genuinely feel more blessed serving than the ladies do being served. We currently have about 32 men serving 11 ladies. -Ken
She's Old Enough to be Their Mother
“I’m old enough to be the mother of the men on my team but they are like my big brothers. I know that they are there for me and are looking out for me.”
Never Realized Importance of Relationships
“I never realized how important the relationship part was. I started coming because I knew it was the right thing to do. Now I come because I care for my care receiver and I enjoy the time with the men on my team.”
Powerful and Fulfilling
"New Commandment Men’s Ministry has been a powerful and fulfilling ministry for me. Hearing the appreciation and joy the ministry brings to the care receivers has been some of the most satisfying experiences in my life. The way God works in the hearts of those in the ministry has been truly amazing. It is an honor to serve in this ministry.”
Favorite is Prayer Time
"Just the fact that we are coming every month makes a huge difference to our care receivers. Many of our care receivers have said that their favorite part is the short time of prayer together.
God Always Provided the Men
"Even though we are small and often spread thin, God has provided the men each Saturday. We have never had to call a care receiver and say that we don’t have a team for her that month." -Jim
Could Not have Made It
"I could not have made it through last year without my team.”
A Powerful and Fulfilling Ministry
“New Commandment Men’s Ministry has been a powerful and fulfilling ministry for me. Hearing the appreciation and joy the ministry brings to the care receivers has been some of the most satisfying experiences in my life. The way God works in the hearts of those in the ministry has been truly amazing. It is an honor to serve in this ministry.” -Jim, Calvary Bible Church, Derry, New Hampshire
XIII. "This has National Implications!"
During one of my very first workshops on men's team ministry to the widowed and single parents, a man suddenly shouted out, "This has national implications!"
He was exactly right. For example, there are 300,000 churches in America. If just 5 widows in each church received a team of men, then there would be 6 million men serving 1.5 million widows. Imagine the testimony that would be!
In fact, according to Isaiah 1:16-18, the implications of 1.5 million teams of men "pleading the cause of their widow" go much farther than just having a great testimony to our country. It means that God will totally transform our culture for good.
When I was a child I memorized Isaiah 1:18 and thought it referred to my personal salvation. But while it is true that when we come to faith in Christ God makes our sins "as white as snow," personal salvation is not what this passage is talking about.
Looking at the passage in the context of the entire chapter, we see that Isaiah 1 is talking about the moral and spiritual depravity of Judah's entire culture. Therefore, verse 18 is not talking about personal salvation, but about cultural transformation.
God is saying, "I don't want to have to bring you into court, Judah, and judge you for your sin. Instead, settle with me out of court. Take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow. If you do that, I will transform your culture and make your sins as white as snow."
Unfortunately, Judah didn't do that. It didn't "settle out of court" and consequently it suffered the awful wrath of God's judgment.
But do you know who did "take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow"? The early church did. And what happened? God did in fact transform their culture.
God is making that same promise to us Christians today. We live in dark times here in America. But God is saying to the church, "Take up the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow." If we do that, Isaiah 1:16-18 says that He will transform our culture just like he did for the early church.
Do you believe that? I know I do. And if we believe it, then it's time to take action.
God Makes a Deal with Judah
"Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.
Come now, let us settle the matter, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." Isaiah 1:16-18
Bibliography
(An underlined title is a link to my review of the book.)
Caring for Widows: Ministering God's Grace, Brian Croft and Austin Walker, Crossway, Kindle Edition
Developing a Men's Team Ministry to Widows, Widowers, and Single Moms (Video and Workbook), Herb Reese
From One Widow to Another: Conversations on the New You, Miriam Neff, Moody Publishers (Read my interview with Miriam Neff.)
The Group of Seven: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life, Donald L. Rosenstein and Justin M. Yopp
The Ministry of a Baptist Deacon: A Handbook for Local Church Servant Leaders, Paul Chappell, Striving Together Publications
Where Do I Go From Here? Bold Living after Unwanted Change, Miriam Neff, Moody Publishers
A Great Ministry Idea
For the past nineteen years New Commandment Men’s Ministries has helped hundreds of churches throughout North America and around the world recruit, train, organize, and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt widows, single moms and fatherless children in their congregations for the purpose of donating two hours of service to them one Saturday morning each month. We accomplish this with an online training site at newcommandment.org.
Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus, come.
About the Author
Herb Reese is an ordained minister, author, blogger, public speaker, and President of New Commandment Men's Ministries. Herb has a B.A. in History from UCLA and a Th.M. in Pastoral Ministries from Dallas Theological Seminary. He has done post graduate work in The History of Ideas at University of Texas, Dallas and in Church Administration at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. After serving as a pastor for twenty years, Herb founded New Commandment Men's Ministries, a ministry dedicated to helping churches recruit, train, organize and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt their widows, single moms, and fatherless children. Herb has served as President of New Commandment since 2003 and has helped 1,000 churches develop men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents in all 50 states and eight foreign countries. Herb and his wife, Patti, have three grown children and live in Arvada, Colorado.
New Commandment Men's Ministries
Herb Reese, President
8680 W 81st Drive
Arvada, CO 80005
herbreese@newcommandment.org
303-880-8839