Chapter One: Character Counts
You don’t attain true integrity through a series of behaviors (doing) but by being internally transformed through a personal relationship with Jesus.
I’m a big believer in the basic fundamentals. There are no shortcuts or secrets to living the Christian life. If you want to retain a strong Christian walk characterized by righteousness, here are the ingredients which come only through discipline.
- Bible Reading
- Prayer
- Fasting
- Solitude
- Fellowship
- Scripture Memory
- Accountability
Chapter Two: A Call to Accountability
I became interested in accountability because of two primary reasons. The first one was personal. Though I had an impressive address and phone book listing and could mix fairly well in most social situations, I found myself longing to have someone who knew me for who I really was and who would be willing to listen, advise and challenge me to live in an upright, godly manner.
The second reason I became interested in accountability was the pattern of failures I observed in the lives of many Christians whom I admired and followed closely. When I speak of failure, I am referring to public and private sin which seriously damaged their ministry or job, reputation, families and relationship with God. As I began to ask questions, I discovered that many of those who fell had no accountability in their lives.
Chapter Three: A Look at Our Group
Accountability took on a new meaning and was raised to a higher level when I began meeting with a second group of men in the fall of 1990. Along with my roommate Steve Pelluer and Kansas City Chiefs teammate Ken Karcher, we began getting together three times a week. In addition to answering a set of personal questions which had been provided by Athletes in Action director Mike Lusardi, we also made a commitment to memorizing Scripture together. Our goal was to memorize the entire book of 2 Timothy. By Christmas 1990 all three of us had the book memorized and together forged an incredible friendship.
Chapter Four: Teamwork That Works
I began this project in 1990 because I was unable to find a comprehensive book devoted entirely to accountability. Some authors, like Patrick Morley in Man in the Mirror, dedicated portions of their writings to this subject, and I am grateful to Patrick for having the courage to approach this subject and give men a format to use. Some of the information which I am writing on accountability is adapted from Patrick’s writings, and I encourage you to rread his entire book. Steve Farrar, in Point Man, also does a great job of detailing some specific ways in which a man can better equip himself to be a godly man and leader.
Chapter Five: How to Get Started
Getting started is often the most difficult part of the entire process because it means that you see the need to enter into an accountable (submissive) relationship. You have to be willing to risk–setting aside natural, selfish attitudes and desires and come under the authority of someone who is committed to you completely. It should not be entered into lightly but with deliberate intent and mutual commitment.
Keys to getting started:
- Pray and risk.
- Find at least one person
- Decide the key areas for accountability
- Set a regular time and place
- Establish a covenant
- Be transparent
- Stay on course
Chapter Six: Developing Your Questions
Over the past few years, I have seen a number of different formats and series of questions. Here are our 10 questions.
- Have you spent daily time in Scriptures and prayer?
- Have you had any flirtatious or lustful attitudes?
- Have you been completely above reproach in your financial dealings?
- Have you spent quality relationship time with family and friends?
- Have you done your 100% best in your job, school, etc.?
- Have you told any half-truths or outright lies, putting yourself in a better light to those around you?
- Have you shared the Gospel with an unbeliever this week?
- Have you taken care of your body through daily physical exercise?
- Have you allowed any person or circumstance to rob you of your joy?
- Have you lied to us on any of your answers today?
Chapter Eight: Daily Time With Christ
I define [quiet time] as time alone with God and allowing Him to speak to me through the Bible and communicating with Him through prayer. This intimate time alone with God is the key to deep Christian growth and maturity. Every committed Christian has this discipline as a core priority!
Chapter Nine: Sexual Temptations and Lust
Every time I talk abut our accountability questions, this particular question frequently receives the same reaction from men. One common response has been, “This is an area I really need to talk about.” In fact, in passing along these questions to hundreds of men, I have only met one person who said he had no problems or temptations with lust–I didn’t believe him.
Chapter Ten: Financial Dealings
While many Christians think responsibility to God amounts to 10 percent, in rreality all money belongs to God and we are simply caretakers of it. As stewards of these funds, we are responsible for properly managing this property while we have it in our possession. God can decide to entrust us with as much or as little as He chooses. As a stward of God’s finances, it is our responsibility to be a faithful manager. If we are faithful in our stewardship, God makes certain promises to us including peace, provision, and prosperity.
Chapter Eleven: Quality Relationships
Every important relationship in life must be built on loyalty. Building loyalty in others is done by demonstrating loyalty to them. Marriages must be built on this habit or they do not survive. Leaders look for this quality with those they serve.
One way to demonstrate our loyalty is through being a servant. Servanthood isn’t reserved for those who are skilled or gifted for service–servanthood is a duty for all Christians. Our role model is Christ himself who came “not to be served, but to serve.”
Chapter Twelve: Our 100% Best
God expects our best effort in all our endeavors. Whether on the job, in the classroom, on the athletic field, within our church or with our spouse, children and family, we are supposed to do our best for God’s glory. God is our audience, not our employer, teacher, coach, pastor or spouse. When we remember that He is the one whom we serve, our performance can be centered solely on Him.
Chapter Thirteen: Half-Truths and Outright Lies
I believe that most of us do not deliberately want to lie. Yet it can be very easy to stretch the truth, and this is lying. Many of the guys in our group have been challenged by this question during their conversations on a day-to-day basis. Several have admitted being in the midst of a half-truth and then retracting words right on the spot to make it truthful. More than once, we have had to swallow our ego and pride and admit to this being a part of our week.
This issue boils down to integrity. It is complicated when you begin to carry on a lie. Soon you cannot keep straight who even knows the truth. Furthermore, a lie shared over and over can eventually start sounding like the truth. God commands us to tell the truth.
Chapter Fourteen: Sharing the Gospel
I believe the first step in presenting the gospel to someone is by initiating and establishing a relationship. Within that relationship if you get the opportunity to share the gospel, that is wonderful. In addition to forging a friendship, keep your eyes and ears open to sharing what God has done in your life.? Perhaps you will have fertile soil with an opportunity to plunge right into the Gospel. In other cases, there may be a long season of planting seeds, awaiting the right moment to share your faith. There may not be a perfect time to witness. Yet as a relationship is developed, ask God to give you a natural opportunity.
Chapter Fifteen: Exercise, Eating and Sleeping
If possible, I encourage you to work out at least three days a week. It can range from a hard 10-mile run, a racquetball game or a walk through the neighborhood. Bicycling, aerobics, weight lifting programs, basketball, golfing (carry your clubs), softball, etc., are options available to you among many others.
The key word in taking care of your body is discipline. A disciplined person is able to stand up on his or her own two feet and make wise choices. Men and women who are disciplined are easily distinguished from those who are not. A high level of character and leadership qualities emerge.
Chapter Sixteen: Joy and Happiness
There is no question that the day-to-day grind of life is difficult. In John 16:33 Jesus reminds us that in the world we will experience trouble. There will be tribulation, but we are not merely to endure it but to “be of good cheer” for He has overcome the world. You cannot avoid the stresses and pressures this world brings. The pulls of the world are strong. Therefore, we need to be disciplined and prepared to fight the spiritual battles and defeat our enemy.
Chapter Seventeen: Wrapping It Up
One of the practical steps you can take within your group is to have each member write out a personal mission statement. This one-page document should include spiritual, relational, financial, physical and social goals. This activity can help establish a game plan to give direction and purpose and also help you to focus on what is really important. The most effective statements are one sentence long, an be understood by a 12-year-old and would be able to be recited at gunpoint.