What Does it Take to be a Man?
Chapter 1 – I Call it Courage
There’s a piece of every man’s heart that longs to be courageous, to be bold and gutsy and etch a masculine mark of bravery on the human landscape. In our hearts, we know that a part of the core of true manhood is courage.
Chapter 2 – Courage in the Valley
In order for a man to be courageous, he must know the truth about who God is. Courage that overcomes fear comes from convictions, and convictions about life and death come from the truth of Scripture.
Chapter 3 – Time to Step Up
As I’ve studied the subject of manhood over the past three decades, I’ve looked for the very finest definitions of true manhood. Two of my favorite definite definitions offer men a “North Star” to navigate through life. The first is from my friend Robert Lewis. “A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God’s greater reward.” The other definition comes from pastor and author John Piper: “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to man’s differing relationships.”
Chapter 4 – What Robs Men of Courage?
Too many men today were raised by fathers who didn’t step up to their responsibilities. Is it any wonder we have a generation of men who feel lost and aimless, not knowing how to face their fears or think rightly about themselves, women, and their own passions?
The First Step: Boyhood
Chapter 5: “That Bear’s Going to Maul My Son!”
As your son moves through the stage of boyhood, he needs you and your protection in a dangerous culture. He needs your training, teaching, and tough love. He needs you to lay aside any obstacles or fears and courageously get involved in his life.
Chapter 6: What Every Boy Needs
One of the biggest needs in our generation is for men to step into the lives of boys to train them, equip them, and cheer them on to grow up as they begin the process of “manning up.” And I’m not just talking about fathers getting involved with their sons. I’m also talking about a generation of boys who are growing up with no male figure in their lives; boys who are desperate for a man to show them how to be a man.
Chapter 7: Stepping Up as a Dad
God gives us a unique opportunity as fathers to join him in what has to be one of the most noble, transcendent assignments we’ll ever have as men: He gives us the privilege of joining with Him in shaping the next generation of men.
Chapter 8: You Can Do It!
It’s time for you to decide what type of legacy you want to leave. No matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past, no matter what your background, no matter what your fears, it’s never too late to step up and do your duty.
The Second Step: Adolescence
Chapter 9: The Wilderness Years
Think for a moment: Do you remember what it was like to be a teenage boy? These years are a time of great vulnerability and danger for a young man. Peer pressure is unrelenting as he watches his friends choose to do things that he’s not sure are right but look like a lot of fun.
Chapter 10: Understanding the Landscape
Teenage boys want desperately to become men. But without training and guidance from an adult male, they will most likely take their cues on manhood from their peers and the culture. They will try to prove their manhood by indulging their lusts and fulfilling their desires. They will avoid taking responsibility and will avoid commitment in their relationships. They will make foolish choices.
Chapter 11: What Every Teenage Boy Needs
Teenage young men must be trained for battle. Think of it this way: When a boy turns thirteen, you have about five years to purposefully train him for manhood. He needs to know who God is and how to relate to his Creator. He needs to know what a real man is and what he does. He needs to know how to make wise choices. And how to deal with his failures.
Chapter 12: Every Man’s Battle
Think of what our sons are exposed to as they grow up. The culture is saturated with sexual images on television, in movies, on the Internet, on their phones – everywhere they look. Most boys see hard-core pornography by the age of ten, and many become addicted to online pornography as teenagers. It isn’t a matter of wondering if they will see pornography; it’s more of a question of how much they’ve seen and how they should respond. In thousands of ways, they are told that the mark of a real man is his sexual experience.
The Third Step: Manhood
Chapter 13: A Man of Endurance
As men, we are called to a similar type of courage: to know our duty, to lead our families, to pursue God’s call for our lives with dogged determination, to never give up despite whatever obstacles we experience in life.
Chapter 14: The Courage to Initiate
Initiative is the essence of manhood. Nothing comes to the man who is passive, except failure.
Chapter 15: The Courage to Protect
One of the greatest lies of our day is that one man, one husband, or one dad can’t make a difference.
Chapter 16: The Courage to Resist Temptation
You may not think it takes much courage to face your temptations, but it does. Accountability is a proactive step toward never underestimating the power of temptation. Manhood requires us to resolutely “flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22). We have to put the lure of adolescence behind us, face upward, and keep stepping up through our lifetime.
Chapter 17: The Courage to Believe
If you haven?t already surrendered your life to Christ, may I invite you to courageously kneel down and surrender to Him so that you can ultimately step up and be the man God made you to be?
The Fourth Step: Mentor
Chapter 18: A Major League Trailblazer
A mentor makes decisions and orders his life to intentionally invest in the next generation. A mentor must pass on his values; lessons learned from his mistakes, successes, and defeats; the essence of his life. He intentionally passes on wisdom to the next generation and casts a vision for how they can do the same.
Chapter 19: Men Need Other Men
Every man needs a mentor, and every man needs to be a mentor. We need another man to speak into our lives, cheering us on, imparting the courage to persevere, summoning us to keep stepping uup. In turn, we need to mentor others. This is our generational responsibility.
Chapter 20: Becoming a Generational Messenger
There’s something in the chest of every man that draws him to be a mentor. It’s the DNA of true manhood, and these genetics run throughout Scripture?young men seeking out the gray-haired men and valuing their wisdom. Elders commissioned to spread life lessons on to the next generation.
The Fifth Step: Patriarch
Chapter 21: Left Behind
As I’ve met with men across the country, I?ve found that once they reach their sixties and seventies, they begin to feel … “left behind.” Many begin to feel useless, as if their families, their churches, and their communities no longer need them. Some lose their vision, become passive, and stop acting like men. They think their years of impact and accomplishment are over.
Chapter 22: Are You Done Making a Difference?
It’s time to resurrect the mantle of patriarch. It’s time for a new order of noble, life-seasoned men to courageously arise, strip away encumbrances, and do battle on behalf of their children, grandchildren, communities, and nation. God created men not to rust out but to wear out as they stretch out toward the finish line.
Chapter 23: Qualities of a Patriarch
A patriarch is a godly older man who, in his last season of life, has learned how to fight through his loss of authority and discover fresh ways of giving up his life on behalf of others.
Chapter 24: Finishing Well
You and I are in a race. Others are watching the direction we are running and how we are running. So run your race to win. And regardless where you find yourself on the steps of manhood today, I encourage you to do your duty – keep stepping up.
Chapter 25: It’s Time
On this journey through the five steps, you’ve undoubtedly already stepped up and faced some issues. Some small issues, and perhaps some major ones. What I want you to do now is set an appointment for yourself to get alone for an hour, flip back through these pages, and ruthlessly ask yourself two questions:
- Is there an issue in my life where it’s become clear “It’s time!”?
- Is there a boy, a young man, a man, or a group of men in my life whom I need to give this book to?