Before my wife and I were married, I made the mistake of taking her on a date to see an archaeological exhibit of Canaanite civilization at what was then called the Dallas Museum of Nature and Science. Canaanites inhabited the land of Palestine in the second millennium BC when the Israelites crossed the Jordan and invaded it. God had commanded them to wipe out the Canaanites due to “all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods” (see Deut 20:16-18).
At the exhibit, Patti and I saw in graphic detail exactly what the Bible was talking about. Canaanite religion was centered around the worship of sex in all its perversions. The majority of the carved artifacts we saw in the exhibit looked like they had come from an ancient porn store. We continually had to avert our eyes and were relieved when we left.
As I think about that exhibit, I am reminded of what a gift our Christian sexual ethics have been to civilization: Sex is not to be worshipped. It is not the be all and end all of life. God has given sex as a gift to married couples for the purpose of uniting them as one flesh and for procreation. But because we live in a fallen world, sex can also be a source of great physical, emotional, spiritual and social harm when we give in to lust. In this balanced and realistic view of sex, Christians know that they can come to a loving and holy God, confess their need for forgiveness and healing, be transparent with others, enjoy the filling of the Spirit, and focus on using their bodies to accomplish good in the world. This, in a nutshell, is Christian sexual ethics.
In men’s ministry, our focus is on helping men honestly face up to any failures in this area, seek healing, be accountable to others, and apply daily all of the resources available to them in Christ – fellowship with other Christians, meditation on the Word of God, being filled with the Spirit, and accomplishing the good God has saved them to do.
Sadly, though, American culture is now unabashedly post Christian. It should be no surprise, then, that some of the first values it jettisoned was Christian sexual ethics. The result is that we are now in a sexual demolition derby: men give into their own sexual lust without regard to the harm they are doing to others in the process. And yet women want men to respect them and not treat them simply as sex objects. And when women get married, they want their husbands to be faithful. In reality, the “MeToo” movement wants men to behave Christianly without actually being Christians.
My response to American women is simply this: Good luck with that, because it’s not going to happen. In fact, men are going to become even worse because they have nothing left to worship other than sex.
Just ask the Canaanites.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
Since 2003 New Commandment Men’s Ministries has helped hundreds of churches throughout North America and around the world recruit teams of men who permanently adopt widows, single moms and fatherless children in their congregations for the purpose of donating two hours of service to them one Saturday morning each month. We accomplish this with a free training site called New Commandment Men’s Ministry Learn how to mobilize your men’s ministry to meet every pressing need in your church at newcommandment.org.
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and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
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One thought on “On Christian Sexual Ethics”
I wonder if things will be different if we reversed the private parts in the genders? As men are bombarded with visual images on TV, in movies etc….and women are now more aggressive than before, wearing sexy outfits even to church because they want to “look good’ by world standards but very tempting to any men with lack of self-control in their eyes. I had a teen telling me how another girl in high school asked him to have sex with her. He did not know what to do, as it was unfamiliar territory for him and we know that women develop faster than men in maturity. As part of the attack on men and masculinity in today world, men are pushed down and minimize to less of what God intended them to be. The future look not too good for our society and the word as the world is making sure men stay home and away from their responsibility and role as leaders at home and society. Probably that is what Eve did with Adam before Adam comply with her command. Men might decide to stay single instead of dealing with all the drama and liability that comes now with fellowshipping with women. jag