?If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters?yes, even their own life?such a person cannot be my disciple.” – Jesus
I once quoted the above verse to a girl I was dating. I was just trying to explain my understanding of discipleship, an understanding she obviously didn’t share. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last very long!
I’m afraid we view discipleship too glibly these days. “Hey, how about getting together with me for coffee once a week so we can get deeper into the Word?” I might say to someone I felt called to disciple. And maybe, just maybe, he would be willing to sacrifice an hour out of his busy week to do it.
But in reality, I don’t think any believer actually disciples another believer. Instead, we make others disciples of Jesus Christ and he takes the reigns from there. And, as Jesus says, his process of discipleship can be excruciatingly painful and costly to the point of penury. And the problem is, any family member living with us is affected by the discipleship process too. We think we’re taking our family on a European river cruise down the Danube when we follow Jesus. But he knows it will be more like taking our family out on a Coast Guard cutter to rescue people drowning in a hurricane.
Looking back on my own lifetime of being discipled by Jesus, it’s been exactly like the latter. My journey with Jesus has included bouts of poverty, a few trips to the woodshed, periods of stress so intense I wanted to vomit, and xray-like scrutiny that made me feel like I was walking naked down Main Street. And through it all, my family came along for the ride. The flaming arrows and vats of boiling oil were mainly directed at me. But, like all warfare, they did produce collateral damage.
If I really loved my wife, if I really loved the children she gave me – at least the way worldly men love their wife and children – if family was the be-all and end-all of life for me, I never would have become a disciple of Jesus. I’ve sometimes thought that if I had devoted as much time and energy to a business as I have to ministry, I would be a very wealthy man by now. I could have given my family so much more. If I had spent the time with my kids that I spent visiting in hospitals and homes, they’d be so much further along.
But I didn’t. I didn’t because I’m a disciple of Jesus, the God-Man. He alone commands my ultimate devotion. And that devotion is costly. And because of that, my love for anyone else looks like hate in comparison.
But the ultimate irony of it all is that to follow Jesus – to truly be His disciple – is to love like Jesus. So, having taken us from our families, he sends us back and says,?”This is how I have loved you. Now go and love your wife and kids the same way.”?
I’ve been on a long, arduous journey. It’s been costly. My wife and kids have paid a price. But I have to think that I love them more and better now than I ever could have had I not left.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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