Dan Erickson is President of People Matter Ministries and the author of “Ready to Fly”, “Grandfathering: Live to Leave a Legacy” and “God Loves Do-Overs.”
Herb: Dan, you have a new book out, but before we get into that, tell us about your men’s ministry.
Dan: People Matter has been going about nine years and we do three things: speaking, writing books–I’ve written five–and then I do ministry coaching.
Herb: You’ve written five books?
Dan: Yes, in the last nine years.
Herb: Tell us about those books.
Dan: I resigned my church nine years ago. I was in a hospital room having stents put in and I was asking God why. He said, “Dan, I have a greater “yes” for you. Nine months later I came out with my first book. It was titled, “Finding Your Greater Yes.” My greater yes was to resign my church. Churches pay every two weeks. It was a great church and it was hard to resign the church. But my wife and I knew that this is what God wanted us to do. I wrote my second book because I realized that many Christians couldn’t find their greater yes because they were stuck in their past–in their pain, their sin and their addictions. So my wife and I wrote another book together titled, “God Loves Do Overs: Starting Life All Over Again.” It’s about how, when we receiver Christ, he gives us a fresh start.
Then I wrote a book, “Why Minister to Men.” The reason we need to minister to men is that the church doesn’t realize that men are the heart of the family. They are the heart of the marriage. And Satan is trying to take out the men. We’re in a fatherless generation right now where 40% of all children are being born to a single mother. So the church has had to realize that we’ve got to stir up our men and our grandfathers.
And then the next book I wrote was “The Unstoppable Force.” I was having open heart surgery and in the middle of that experience God told me that he wanted me to write something on the unstoppable force, which is really about the church. We are the unstoppable force. And then I did a parchment that goes with it that is about the ten absolutes of the Christian faith. If you don’t know what to stand for, you’re falling for anything. And right now a lot of Christians are falling for the lie instead of the truth.
And then this book on grandfathering. I’ve been a grandfather for nineteen years. My daughter had a baby without the advantage of marriage. Again, over 40% of children in this country will be born to a single mother. So I realized I got a do over because I wasn’t that good of a dad. My kids had a pastor. They didn’t have a father.
So I got a fresh start and I helped raise this little girl for three years. And then my daughter married a wonderful man and they had four more grandchildren. I realized that I could be a better grandfather than maybe I was a dad.
Herb: So now you have this book out on grandfathering. Tell us a little about that book.
Dan: As I began to speak on the topic, “Grandfathering that Changes Lives,” a lot of the men were coming to me and asking for the book. They wanted more information. People don’t realize that almost 40% of all children are living with their grandparents. Grandparents are becoming more important because of the fatherlessness in our nation. Sam Mehaffe has written a book on this called “Fatherless America” and he gives all the stats. And what’s crazy is that grandfathers are sitting in our churches by the millions and they’re not rising up. Instead, they go to Florida and sit on the beach instead of spending time with their grandchildren. So as I began to speak on this topic I realized men wanted more. So we developed our book, Grandfathering: Live to Leave a Legacy.
I’ve never met a grandfather that didn’t want to leave a legacy. But you have to live to leave a legacy. I wanted to find the legacy I’m going to leave at the end of my life. And so we wrote this in time to launch on Grandparenting day. It has questions in the back of each chapter for small groups.
Herb: What would you say are the key elements to being a great grandparent?
Dan: The number one key element is you have to be there. You have to be present when you walk in with your grandkids. And the only way you can be present is you have to be intentional. You have to decide that you’re going to be an active, involved grandparent. I’m involved with my eleven year old by teaching him how to wrestle. I’m sixty-five years old. My wife tells me I’m going to hurt myself. But I’ll do things like that until I’m sitting in a wheelchair.
The next thing is to strategize. I have one grandson, Dillon, who likes to do things he shouldn’t be doing. So, just between him and me, I challenged him to do three things. So now, when we meet, I ask him about those three things. So I have a strategy for how I can be intentional in his life to help him become the man God wants him to be.
Herb: So grandfathering doesn’t just happen. You have to think about it and plan for it.
Dan: You’ve got to use your head and your heart. I can only teach what I know. I want them falling in love with the Jesus in me. Part of that is you’ve got to hug them a lot.
Herb: What should a Christian grandparent do when they have a son or daughter who is not a believer and they want to instill some spiritual truth in their grandchildren?
Dan: Again, you have to be Christ in the flesh. And that’s the hardest part, when you have family who aren’t believers. But that doesn’t mean those grandkids can’t see Jesus in you. And whenever you get an opportunity to be with them, you take them to church. We always invite our kids to dump the grandkids off at our house. We intentionally live in the same city for that purpose. I wouldn’t normally live where we are. I’d live on the beach somewhere. But we live there because five of my grandkids live there. See, I’m being intentional about being in the lives of our grandkids so when my kids want to go away for a weekend, then I can take the grandkids to church with us. But mostly, I’ve got to be Christ in the flesh. You don’t preach at them, you leak on them. The best place to talk to grandkids about God and Christ is in the car, when you’re just hanging out with them.
Herb: What about grandparents who are living away from their children?
Dan: They’re going to have to be a lot more intentional. Here’s the challenge I give grandfathers all the time. If they can live where their grandchildren live, then that’s where they need to be.
Herb: So make that a priority.
Dan: Yes, make it a priority. Someone may object that they have already raised their kids. But they only have one life to give and eternity is going to be a very long time.
Herb: I say grandparents “see” five generations. They see their own grandparents’ generation, they see their parents’ generation. Then they see their own generation. They see their children’s generation and they see their grandchildren’s generation.
Dan: Yes, the average grandfather starts being a grandfather at 48 and the live to 83. You’re going to be a grandfather and a great grandfather much longer than you had your own kids in your home. So you have an opportunity not only to influence your children, but also their children. My children see how much I love my grandchildren and it affects them.
Herb: Dan, thank you so much. I have always enjoyed ministering with you at Iron Sharpens Iron conferences over the years.
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