How Even Tiny Churches Can Meet the Pressing Needs of Their Widowed and Single Parents

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Often when I speak and write about the responsibility churches have toward people in their congregations with pressing needs, I get responses like the one I received a few days ago:

Herb, don’t forget that many small churches have difficulty keeping the doors open and the pastor fed. Without wisdom in the matter this could add a real difficulty to those small churches and the widows who are shut in or have no church.

I can identify well with this objection because I was at one time the pastor of a very small church. My first church had less than fifty people in it and it paid me poverty-level wages. In fact, I made less money annually in that church than I paid in taxes the year before I took it.

Nevertheless, here’s a startling assertion: even a tiny church can and should meet the pressing needs of its widowed and single parents. First, I’ll lay out some basic principles and then I’ll share my own experience as a small town, small church pastor.

• Take note that the Bible does not distinguish between large and small churches when it commands us to meet the pressing needs of people in our congregations. Almost all churches in the New Testament were small house churches. And the largest church – the Jerusalem church – was the poorest one of all. Nevertheless, the New Testament has multiple references to believers meeting each other’s needs. (i.e., Acts 4:34-37; 6:1-6; 20:32-35; 2 Corinthians 9; 1 Timothy 6:17-19; Titus 3:14; 1 Timothy 5, etc.)
• Make a list of the neediest people in your congregation. All churches should do this, even small churches – and it should be continually updated. Usually, but not always, these people are the widowed and/or single parents. This list should include members who are in financial difficulty, those who are socially isolated, and those with long term ailments. In this post I’m focusing on those with financial difficulty.
• Discern who those are who are truly in financial need. Not everyone who is poor should necessarily be helped. Some people are just lazy and need to be reproved. (2 Thessalonians 3:10) Others, however, have real needs.
• Research what is a sustainable income for those in your church who are struggling financially and are in genuine need and then estimate how much regular help they need from the church. (I say “regular help” as opposed to a one-time gift. People in these situations may need sustained income from the church.)
• Advocate for the impoverished members in your church by “pleading their cause” (Isaiah 1:17). Do your impoverished members have relatives (such as adult children, aunts and uncles, etc.) who need to be approached for help? Are there private and/or government agencies that can help (i.e., food stamps, help with heating, etc.). Are there wealthier members of the congregation you can ask to make a monthly commitment of support (1 Tim. 6:17-19)? (Believers provide monthly support for missionaries all the time. Why not for the widowed and single parents?)
• Make a line item in your church budget for impoverished member support (You’ll need to come up with a more diplomatic name for it). If your church is small and poor, start with $100/year. The important thing is to get it in the budget and start your congregation thinking about it.
• Pastor – consider taking a second job and sharing some of the proceeds with poor members of your congregation as an example for others in your church to follow. This is exactly what the Apostle Paul did as an example to the Ephesian believers and to us (Acts 20:32-35).
• Take 2 Corinthians 9:8 at face value. “God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” This is an amazing promise that guarantees success to any church, large or small, that sets out to meet the genuine pressing needs in its midst.

Here’s how all of this worked out for me as a pastor of a poor church in a poor Texas town on the gulf of Mexico.

My first church didn’t look promising when Patti and I first arrived. The building was painted white, but it and the two bedroom parsonage next to it were covered with green mold from the humid and horrid Texas summers the gulf coast two miles away assaulted it with every year. In the back of the church was a dilapidated chicken coop that the former pastor used to supplement his income with by selling eggs to members of the congregation. No wonder Grace Bible Church had a reputation as a revolving door for first-time pastors. It was eighty years old and the average pastorate had been eighteen months.

I was determined, however, to take this calling seriously. It wasn’t easy. Patti and I supplemented our meager income with our savings so I could focus entirely on the church, but soon our savings ran out. After two years, people in the congregation began asking me when I was going to leave. They didn’t mean anything by it. They just assumed I would be heading on to greener pastures like their former pastors had done.

But I sensed that my work there was not finished, so I started a window cleaning business to enable Patti and I to stay at the church longer. “After all,” I thought, “a second job is what the Apostle Paul did.” In time, God blessed that business and I wound up with over 100 accounts, including washing the windows at over twenty Kroeger stores in two counties every two weeks.

To ease the load, I hired an unemployed man out of the congregation to work with me full time. The country was going through a serious recession at the time. Unemployment was at 10%. So he was happy for the work.

One day, as I was cleaning windows, it dawned on me that I was not only meeting my own needs, but that God had enabled me to help someone else in the church who was in need as well. I was indeed doing what the Apostle Paul had done!

I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:33-35

I stayed on at Grace Bible Church for four and a half more years and during that time the Lord blessed with people coming to Christ. We were even able to renovate the church and parsonage inside and out. To this day, when I dream about being a pastor, I dream about Grace Bible Church.

Was it hard work? Absolutely. It was exhausting. I’ve never worked harder in all my life. But God honored my commitment and sacrifice. And my Christian friend, God will honor your commitment and sacrifice to your needy fellow believers as well, especially if you are in a small church.

This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.

For the past 16 years, New Commandment Men’s Ministries has helped over 900 churches recruit, train, organize and deploy teams of men who permanently adopt their widowed and single parents. Each team donates two hours of service to their care receiver every month, returning each month to the same person. New Commandment hosts a free training site called New Commandment Men’s Needs” for the purpose of helping churches start this ministry.

Learn how to mobilize your men’s ministry to meet every pressing need in your church here.

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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom

and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.

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