By Herb Reese
When Paul had finished speaking, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship. Acts 20:36-38
It's normal to grow attached to our pastors. They are our spiritual shepherds, after all; leading us to faith in Christ, feeding us, protecting us, guiding us, praying for us, We hear their sermons, we learn about their lives, we see their good works.
Over the course of years they become our role models, our spiritual heroes, who have tremendous influence on us for good. They married us, held our babies in their hands, visited us in the hospital, and stood with us as we mourned the loss of a loved one. We know our pastors and we feel known by them.
But eventually, their ministry to us comes to an end, whether through a call to another church, retirement, or maybe even death, and a new pastor arrives to take his place, sans any kind of relationship with us. They are completely different: different personalities, different backgrounds and different approaches to ministry and preaching. We can't avoid the feeling of loss, of being a stranger to this new person who came to take our beloved pastor's place.
I know this feeling of loss well. For the first nineteen years of my life, I had one pastor. I came to faith in Christ during one of his sermons. I grew tremendously under his teaching. He and my father were close friends and he came to our home for dinner on multiple occasions. But eventually, he retired. I have to say, it felt like a death in the family. I felt lost as a young believer. And when the new pastor arrived, I knew things would never be the same.
But I have also experienced pastoral transitions from the other side. Twice as a pastor I followed founding pastors with long tenures. I liken those experiences to a stepfather who has hundreds of teenage children with "You're not my father!" tattooed on their foreheads. Only their tattoos read, "You're not Pastor (name here)." After a while, I noticed a familiar pattern: the closer they had been to their previous pastor, the more difficult it was for me to shepherd them.
So, having experienced pastoral transitions from both sides, here are a few things to remember when you find yourself with a brand new pastor who feels like a total stranger to you.
You did pray, along with the rest of your church, for the Lord's direction in selecting a new pastor, right? Well, this new pastor you may now find that you do not like is God's answer to those prayers. Do you pretend to know all of God's reasons for answering your prayers in this way? I hope not. So stick around and find out why God sent you this particular pastor.
Part of being a spiritually mature Christian is growing so deep in your relationship with God and Jesus Christ that it doesn't really matter much who is your pastor. And that makes it much easier to accept a new pastor.
I know someone who does this and they never formed any kind of relationship with a new pastor at all. Watching your pastor preach at his new church may be tempting, but don't do it.
I remember saying this to myself over and over as I followed those two founding pastors: "Time is on your side." It takes about four years for new pastors to fully transition to a new pastorate. The same is true for congregants. In four years, you finally get to the point where you can fully say, "This is my pastor."
My father was a member of my childhood church for 84 years (He lived to be a few months shy of 100). Over the course of those years, he saw many people leave. But that did not deter him. People left the ministries of Paul (2 Timothy 4:16), John (1 John 2:19), and yes, even Jesus (John 6:64-67). Don't be like them.
If you have a problem with your new pastor, go to him personally and lovingly tell him about it. But don't do it ten minutes before the church service.
In reality, how we traverse a pastoral transition is a measure of our spiritual maturity. When we do it well, we not only bless ourselves, we bless our new pastor too.
Oh, and that second pastor that followed my childhood long-tenured pastor? He counseled me and comforted me through a very difficult time when a good friend of mine committed suicide.
That's when he became my pastor.
This post first appeared in New Commandment.org
.Teams of four men serving (mostly) female care receivers, often for months and years. It's only natural to have questions.
