How Your Men’s Team Ministry Helps Meet the Emotional Needs of Widows and Single Moms

Sharing is caring!

“I’m not depressed anymore.”

Several years ago we held a breakfast at our church to celebrate our men’s team ministry and its care receivers. During the breakfast, we invited our care receivers to share what their team meant to them. Several told wonderful stories of how their team had served them. But what stands out most in my mind about that time is the three women who stood up and said, almost verbatim, “I’m not depressed anymore.”

Wow! That spoke volumes. Think for a moment about the emotional burden widows and single moms carry.

Widows – and some single moms – have lost a husband to death. The majority are older and facing an uncertain future. Sometimes their families live away from them. Some have no family to speak of. They can be in poor health and and may have little in savings. Often they live alone and may have little social interaction. And when it comes to fixing things around the home, well, their husband did that and he’s not there anymore. And besides, their medication is more important than spending money on the roof.

And then there are the single moms. They share many of the burdens of widows. But added to those, a good percentage have been in abusive relationships with a man, or have been abandoned by one. They have the weight of raising one or more children on their own and they know their children will grow up without a stable male role model in their lives. The absence of a man in the home will put their children at greater risk for poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, dropping out of school, crime and spending time in prison.

No wonder single mothers are at a 40% higher risk for major depression than married mothers. And of course, almost all widows experience major depression when their husband dies. But one year later, an average of 12% still have major clinical depression.

So when widows and single moms stand up and say, “I’m not depressed anymore,” that’s significant. It means our men’s team ministry is effectively meeting many of the emotional needs I listed above. Here’s why:

• Men’s team ministry builds long term, stable relationships – the whole idea of using teams of men is to provide consistent, effective ministry over years. Widows and single moms need these kinds of committed relationships.
• Men’s team ministry creates advocates – We train our teams not to walk away from need. Instead, if the need is greater than their own resources, we teach them to start advocating for widows and single moms by contacting family members, organizations and their church. This provides a deeply needed sense of security for their care receiver.
• Men’s team ministry provides godly role models – Christian men faithfully showing up every month for years defines who godly men are and what they do for the children of single moms. These children desperately need these kind of role models so they can grow up to be godly men and women themselves.
• Men’s team ministry meets practical needs – Four men serving a widow or single mom for two hours once a month provides 96 hours of service per year in their care receiver’s home. That is the equivalent of one man working full time on projects in the home for two and a half weeks. Most homes can be very well maintained with that kind of service.
• Men’s team ministry communicates spiritual truth – Widows, single moms (and widowers and single dads), their neighbors, family and friends see the love of Christ in action. They come to understand the relevance of Christ in a person’s life by observing a team serving its care receiver.

So remember, it’s not just the physical, or even spiritual, needs of the widows and single moms we desire to meet, but their emotional needs as well. By serving on a team, you are doing just that.

This post first appeared in NewCommunity.org.

Do you have a men’s team ministry to the widows and single moms in your church? Learn how to start one here.

_______________________________________________________________

Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom

and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.

_______________________________________________________________