Huh. I’m a Canadian Citizen. Who Knew?

I got the shock of my life the other day. I came across a website that said if one of my parents was born in Canada, then I’m automatically a Canadian citizen. After checking Canada’s official website, I discovered that it was indeed true.¹

Turns out, my mother, Marguerite Reese, was born in Owen Sound, Ontario, Canada, from a long line of Canadian Ebys. Therefore, I am an actual, bona fide, Canadian citizen!!!

Guess I better brush up on my Canadian. Here’s my vocabulary list:

• Tuque: A knitted cap/hat, referred to as a beanie in the United States
• Runners: Referred to as sneakers or tennis shoes in the United States.
• Parkade: A multi-level parking structure.
• Eavestroughs: A trough that runs along the eaves and catches rain/leaves.
• Garburator: A mechanical device that “eats” garbage in your kitchen sink’s drain.
• Wicket: You stand at a wicket when speaking to agents in government offices, bank tellers, etc.
• Gasbar: A filling station.
• Fire Hall: Where firefighters work.
• Chip Truck: A type of food truck that typically serves chips (French fries, hot dogs, hamburgers, fish and chips, etc.)
• “Take off!”: “Are you serious?” “Are you kidding?” “No way!”
• Gotch: Men’s underpants, usually of the brief variety.
• “Serviette”: Commonly called a “napkin” in the United States.

So far, I’m making real progress:

“I got my gotch all in a knot while standing in a wicket for over an hour trying to return my garburator at the store next to the fire hall.

“When I finally got to the front of the line, she told me I could only get an in-store credit. She suggested I buy some serviettes with it, or maybe some gas at their gasbar.”

“‘Take off!’ I said. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t getting cash back.”

“As I was leaving the store, I put on my tuque. Unfortunately, it and my runners got wet because it was raining and the eavestrough on the store roof was leaking. I stopped for a bite at the chip truck and then looked for my car in the parkade. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it. I forgot what floor I parked on.”

I still can’t believe that I’ve lived my entire life being ignorant that I’m a citizen of another country.

Who does that, eh?

This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.

1. “You are likely a Canadian citizen if you were born outside of Canada and at least one of your parents was born in Canada.” Government of Canada