Herb: Rex, great to be here with you. How did you get involved in men’s ministry?

Rex: Several years ago I was looking for something to get involved in and I was overseeing seventy churches with Redemption Ministries and they hired me to travel the country with Dan Erickson for eighteen months. So we started traveling the country and Dan poured his life into me and we were helping churches and conferences build men’s ministry. It came down to the end of the eighteen months and Dan looked at me and said, “You’re the best, now go be who you are.” So that’s when I started Man Up Ministries about six years ago. We started out very slow and every year picks up and gets a little better.

Herb: I didn’t realize you had a connection with Dan Erickson [the founder of People Matter Ministries].

Rex: Yes, he taught me a lot. What was interesting is there was a man who had been in the ministry for thirty-five years and at the end of our time together, he knew I had thumb drives that I carried presentations on, so he asked me if I had one on me and I told him I did. So he told me to take everything out of two folders on his computer – thirty-five years worth of material. Then he told me to go and make it my own. And since then I’ve been reworking his material to where it fit me. One of the most interesting things I’m working on now is called, “Your Giants Ain’t Jack,” so hopefully, that will be a big hit.

Herb: You’ve written a book called Living Out of the Rut and I enjoyed reading that book. It’s very practical and it’s very encouraging. What would you say are some of the key points men need to hear from that book?

Rex: The first thing we need to understand is that God is always looking for a way to interrupt our life. He always wants to use us to impact the life of someone else. But most of the time we get up and we start living today like we did yesterday and we get so caught up in what we’re doing that we don’t pay attention to what He is doing. So one of the biggest things is that if we would just allow God to stir us as we go through the day to see that what’s important to Him needs to be important to us, then that’s the big start.

The next thing is, you can’t listen to the crowd. Bartemaeus, sitting on the side of the road, he cried out to Jesus and the crowd tells him to be quiet. He made a choice that day. He could have just sat down and said, “You’re right. I’m just a beggar. I’m a blind guy.” Well, he didn’t accept that. He stood back up and Jesus heard him over the crowd.

The next piece of it that is very important is that you’ve got to let go of the past. Bartemaeus could have said, “I have a black eye. This is what I do. This is who I am. This is what I’ll always be.” And that’s not the case. We’re allowing too many times our past to determine our future. And we have to get over that.

Herb: We start looking at our own limitations instead of at the power of God and the calling of God.

Rex: Exactly. Every time I started stepping out into ministry, someone from my past would appear and want to remind me of the “good times” we used to have. It’s funny on Satan’s timing on that. And finally I started understanding that I can have more fun doing what I’m doing now than what I was doing then.

To give you one example, I have a story about a little girl by the name of Hattie May Wiatt who gets turned away from church, but the pastor lets her in. And on her way home, she finds a little purse and so she starts collecting money to help this church build a bigger building. She put a note in the purse saying that the money was for this purpose. For two years, the young girl collected money, and then she died. The parents didn’t know what to do with the money, so they contacted the pastor of the church and he came over to the apartment complex. They had laid her on a pillow and the pastor noticed something sticking out from under it. He opened it up and inside was fifty-seven cents and the note. He read that in the pulpit and in the congregation was a newspaper reporter who wrote a story about it. A real estate agent found out about it and he offered the church a track of land for fifty-seven cents. Today, it’s Temple Baptist Church and Temple University sits on that land.

After hearing this story, a guy gave me fifty-seven cents wrapped in some paper with a note on it: “Fifty-seven cents changed my life. Now let this change yours.” So I’ve carried that around with me ever since that day because sometimes ministry can become very frustrating and a lonely place. And then when I reach in that bag and I see that, it helps to serve as a reminder of why we do what we do.

Herb: You talk about living in a rut. Have you ever had that experience where you in years past felt like you were just in a rut?

Rex: The most recent time was when I started getting involved in Man Up Ministry. When I started Man Up, things went gang busters for the first year. And then the second year things kind of hit a stale place and I got stuck in that rut. But then the third year, I started helping other ministries and I found myself focusing on them instead of on Man Up. So that ministry became stale and got stuck in a rut. And then, one day I was sitting on an airplane and it was as if God said, “You need to be who you are. You need to focus on what I’ve put inside of you.”

One of the things I really believe is that the average guy will never live to experience all that God has for him because he stays stuck in that rut. So I’m giving my life to helping men understand that there’s more to life than what they’re living. So after spending that year and a half just kind of wondering if I should shut down the ministry I learned that every time you try to shut something down that He started you get in it deeper. So that’s how the book came about. It’s been in me for five years. Jeff Friends co authored the book with me. I debated with myself on a plane ride back from Portland, Maine, that I’m not naturally a writer. But I got home and found Jeff’s card right on top of a table and I called him and told him that I don’t have a choice. I’ve got to write this book. I’m tired of taking a beating so I may as well be obedient. I’m not a writer so I asked him if he would help me and he agreed to do it for free! So that’s why you see Jeff’s name on the book.

It’s amazing how it’s God’s timing. That book was in me for five years and all of a sudden, one day, it comes out.

Herb: It’s a great book for men’s groups who want to encourage their men to good works, encourage their men to live outside of the box, to get up and get going. I was really blessed by it.

Rex: My hope is that a small group can read a chapter and talk through the questions. The chapters are short and there are three discussion questions at the end of every chapter.

Herb: You’re also in full time secular work, aren’t you?

Rex: I’m a construction inspector for a government municipality in Virginia. I’ve been there for thirty-four years and I handle the annual contract. So I’m still working every day and I do this because it’s what I’m supposed to do.

Herb: If I’m a Christian man reading this interview and involved in secular work but feeling like God might be calling me into men’s ministry, what kind of advice would you give me?

Rex: First thing is, find somebody to buddy up with. Find somebody who will help you get started and help you connect to the right people. For me, one of the greatest tools has been attending and doing workshops at Iron Sharpens Iron conferences. Because when you go I meet people like you. It’s almost like a brotherhood that is formed and I think that’s one of the vital parts about getting involved in ministry. Don’t go at it alone. There are people who are out there who are willing to help you and take you under their wing.

The second piece of advice is, don’t give up. It’s going to take time. It’s almost like you have to outlast it. And then doors start opening and things start happening for you. Just enjoy the journey.

Herb: Rex, thank you so much for getting together with me. It’s always fun to see you on the road at various conferences. You’re such an encouragement to me. God’s blessing on you.

Learn more about Rex Tignor’s ministry at Man Up Ministries .