If it isn’t some sort of record, it must be close to it. My father, who lived to be just a few months shy of 100, was a member of his church for 85 years.
I wish I could tell you that those 85 years were wonderful, glorious years for his church. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be quite true. While the majority of them were indeed great years of ministry, there were some truly horrible years that the church endured as well. And yet, through it all, my dad and mom – who died at the age of 79 – stuck it out.
Their example has influenced my understanding of what it means to be committed to a church. And since we live in a culture that values choice and change over commitment and stability – values that have influenced the way American Christians nationwide relate to their church – I’d like to explain my understanding of what it means to be a member of a church.
- A local church is a real-time expression of the body of Christ. When we become a member of a church, we are grafted into that body as a functional organ. As an organ, we grow blood vessels, sinews, and nerves to other parts of the body. We develop meaningful relationships with others as we serve each other in love, becoming dependent on them and they on us. When someone simply up and leaves a church, a gaping hole forms that the rest of the body feels deeply.
- The relationships we form in church will last into eternity. It’s easy to think that our earthly marriage and family relationships are more important than those we have at church. But eternally speaking, that is not true. Marriage and family relationships end at death. Church relationships do not.1
- We participate in a church to serve, not to be served. Two basic kinds of people attend church: consumers and producers. Consumers will always leave a church when their needs are not being met, sometimes leaving behind them a trail of criticism and negativity. Producers, on the other hand, see a church as an opportunity to contribute, to further the mission of the church. Therefore, producers are much more committed and stable than consumers are.
- Difficult times in a church are an opportunity for us to show our true Christian character. Let’s face it, churches are battlegrounds. Eternal warfare is being waged on many different levels in all churches. Most of the time churches win those battles with genuine worship, prayer, and loving service. But sometimes churches – and their pastors – lose a battle or two big time. These are not times for us to cut and run. They are times for us to stay and be a healing balm for the body of Christ.
- All churches change over time. Have you found a church you love? Sooner or later it will change. And some – maybe many – of those changes you won’t like. Well, get over it. It’s not your church. It’s Christ’s church. And he will do with it as he pleases.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
- “While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:46-50, NIV. Also see my post, “Closer than a Brother: Why Jesus Didn’t Focus on the Family“
Published: February 4, 2019.
Updated: September 9, 2026.
