The Importance of Offsite Retreats when Ministering to Men

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One of the critical goals of any men’s ministry is to encourage its men to undertake times of serious, prolonged reflection

Christian men are bombarded daily with thousands of media messages that distract and vie for attention. Forbes Magazine recently noted, “On average, people are exposed to between 6,000 and 10,000 advertisements a day. The average human brain is simply incapable of processing such a bombardment of content, which means the vast majority of ads seen are either ignored or forgotten within seconds.” [1]

The old saying goes, “Only the rats win the rat race!” Like hamsters, men keep spinning endlessly on a wheel: rising early, going to work, coming home, checking on their favorite news or sports program, going to sleep, rising early, going to work … rinse and repeat!

But instead of this endless rat race, several Scripture passages encourage men to engage in self reflection.

• “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalms 46:10)
• “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)
• “But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:2)
• “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23, 24)

During the recent pandemic lockdown, many churches cancelled their offsite retreats. However, it is time to get back into the practice of encouraging men to take time out to meditate upon Scripture and to ponder their work, family, or future, ideally in an outdoor setting for a weekend retreat or week-long camp-type setting.

The value of offsite retreats

One of the best ways to encourage men to connect with each other and to spend time in meditation and thinking about their spiritual state is to offer weekend retreats. Three-day retreats over a Friday through Sunday work best because they provide the time necessary to do this. However, for smaller churches, where many of the participants are volunteers in the church’s Sunday services, a Friday and Saturday weekend format may work best.

There are at least three wonderful reasons to hold men’s offsite retreats.

1. Offsite retreats provide opportunities for extended interaction

First, a retreat provides an excellent opportunity for men to gather in a casual format outside of their normal “church building” interactions. Men need to see their friends in a setting where they can engage in extended conversation, recreation, meals, meditation/prayer, and fellowship. Men need to unplug from their normal routine, if only for a weekend. They need to be prompted to slow down long enough to consider their own purpose and mission.

2. Offsite retreats attract first-time unchurched visitors

Second, an off-site retreat is one of the best ways to involve visitors. Many unchurched men don’t feel comfortable getting up early on a Sunday morning and checking out a church where they don’t know the “church lingo” or the words to the worship choruses and hymns. But at an offsite retreat, a visitor can decide which free time or recreation activities to sign up for. A first timer doesn’t need to feel pressed to share or speak up if they don’t feel comfortable. And when a newcomer witnesses men fishing, hiking, or discussing cars, he notices that “these are just regular guys,” who don’t talk in Christianese or King James language.

Author David Murrow wrote a best-selling book explaining the details of this newcomer phenomenon in Why Men Hate Going to Church. A neighbor or co-worker feels less threatened when invited to a getaway that involves fishing, skeet shooting, golfing, watching man movies, or countless other masculine, recreational activities. Some men’s retreats also feature a successful Christian businessman or professional athlete as their main speaker. Others incorporate outreach themes or activities that appeal to men who are not heavily involved in church. Some men’s groups plan retreats with spiritual formation themes inviting committed Christ-followers to go deeper in their walk with their Savior.

3. Offsite retreats encourage men to decompress

The third reason men’s retreats are effective is because men are often stressed and distracted, the bane of our current high-tech culture. Men often worry about whether they are doing enough at work to keep their job or earn a promotion, whether the family home or car needs repair, or how they can keep up with other men in their neighborhood. At an off-site retreat location, often set at a camp near a lake or out in a beautiful nature setting, men are encouraged to let down their guard, decompress, and reflect on their own life and legacy. The most effective men’s ministries hold off-site retreats at recurring times such as each Fall or Spring so that memories and traditions can be built and passed on to younger men. Normally, churches open these events to young men 16 and older. Other highly effective events are father-son or father-daughter retreats.

Strive for excellence when planning your offsite retreats

A caution is in order here: these events should be planned with excellence well in advance of the retreat weekend. A haphazard retreat with an obvious lack of detailed planning can be frustrating to all involved. Smaller churches can partner with other like-minded fellowships to hold an outstanding event. Men do not appreciate having their time wasted. Distribute a flyer to your men ahead of the retreat that clearly spells out the retreat schedule, meal menus, the theme of the retreat, what the teaching sessions will cover and who will teach them, free time, and recreation options. Also, consider renting a coach bus to transport your men to and from the retreat. Every retreat minute counts. Spending time on a comfortable bus together with other men on the way to the retreat will help prepare them for deep fellowship during the retreat and help them internalize what they learned at the retreat as they talk about it on the way back.

Use your offsite retreats to promote future events

Finally, a men’s offsite retreat should promote future events, such as an upcoming Bible study or leadership training event. Sometimes brief planning meetings held at the church building or the leader’s home do not provide enough time for proper planning. If a critical men’s campaign is approaching, an offsite event among the leading volunteers can provide an ideal setting for prayer, planning, strategizing, and reviewing recent events where an after-action is completed.

Think through all the various activities your men’s ministry is involved in. Is there a time when an offsite retreat can be planned either for the entire group or for a select group of volunteers? Few activities in life can replace a group of men enjoying lunch on a picnic table near a lake or sitting around a nighttime campfire sharing their ideas together.

[1] The Attention Economy: Standing Out Among the Noise. Forbes Magazine, March 23, 2022

© Dr. Paul Pettit

This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.

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