There are more than 100 “one another” passages in the New Testament. Here are ten:
- Bear one another’s burdens (Ga 6:2)
- Speak truth to one another (Ep 4:25)
- Don’t lie to one another (Co 3:9)
- Comfort one another concerning the resurrection (1 Th 4:18)
- Encourage and build up one another (1 Th 5:11)
- Stimulate one another to love and good deeds (Heb 10:24)
- Pray for one another (Jas 5:16)
- Be hospitable to one another (1 Pet 4:9)
- Give preference to one another in honor (Ro 12:10)
- Regard one another as more important than yourselves (Php 2:3)
- Serve one another (Ga 5:13)
Obviously, there is no such thing as a perfect man. But we can become healthy. We can become effective. Becoming a mature Christian man requires a life of faithfully walking with and trusting Jesus. Forget becoming perfect. Here’s the truth about perfection: no one ever attains it, but surrounding ourselves with other mature Christian men helps us become the men God desires us to be.
Jesus Christ was the only perfect man who lived a sinless life. So, you and I don’t need to aim for perfection because we will never achieve it in this lifetime. However, over time, we can become increasingly more effective in the daily roles we live out as husband, co-worker, dad, friend, and more. We’ll never perfect our behavior, but we can make it healthier. We can never leave a perfect legacy, but we can leave a healthy legacy of loving service in our various roles. May the Holy Spirit strengthen us to reach out to other men for help.
You might ask, ‘Why is meeting with and serving alongside other Christian men encouraged?’ Why can’t I live out my Christian life the way I want to?’ Intentionally meeting together was the practice of the early Christians. The first church members in the first century were enthusiastic about:
- Devotion to the study of the apostles’ teaching
- Fellowship for times of sharing and encouragement
- Breaking bread together and meeting in each other’s homes to share meals,
- Times of prayer (see Acts 2:42-47).
One of my mentors often warned me that the most dangerous man is the isolated, unattached male. He is an accident waiting to happen. Furthermore, his moral failure is rarely a spectacular blowout but rather a long, slow leak! You will never become the man God desires you to become while struggling as an isolated individual. Sure, you have your own self-perception of who you are becoming, your internal witness, or your own view of your self-identity. We all have a self-image. We all have our own view of our strengths and weaknesses.
These are the ideas and thoughts you hold about your own life, including both healthy and unhealthy views of who you are. And yet, this internal witness includes your many blind spots. Each of us has character faults and problem areas of which we are unaware. Additionally, this limited self-perception may have become blurry and out of focus over time.
In addition to your own internal witness, you are also in desperate need of the safety check an external witness provides. You need to be open to other men speaking into your life. You need to have your own sense of identity confirmed by a community of healthy, mature, Christian men. You and I need a few older, wiser, and mature Christian men who have walked the road before us. We need some seasoned leaders who have walked with the Savior for many years, speaking into our lives.
It’s funny how pride often shows up in our lives. We may reluctantly visit a doctor once our appendix has burst and we are in excruciating pain. We may finally make an appointment with a dentist once our long-neglected cavity causes problems eating. In the same way, many of us men are so stubborn that we won’t make an appointment with a biblical counselor or Christian therapist even if our wife says they’re considering divorce. We won’t go to a substance abuse counselor or treatment center, even if our boss urges us, because we’re about to lose our jobs.
Pride hinders us from progressing in our walk with Jesus Christ. A blind spot is one of the reasons we need other Christian men, especially mature Christian men, to walk with us in the journey toward Christ-centered masculinity. God created you for community. Are you surrounded by other Christian men who know you well, or are you living in isolated individualism?
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
Dr. Paul Pettit
Dr. Paul Pettit serves as Director of Career Services at Dallas Theological Seminary and teaches in the departments of Spiritual Formation, Leadership, and Pastoral Ministries. Dr. Pettit is also the founder of Dynamic Dads. Dynamic Dads is a non-profit organization dedicated to encouraging fathers everywhere in their demanding yet highly rewarding role of leading their family.
© Dr. Paul Pettit
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