I want to tell you about a men’s ministry I didn’t know existed. And yet, it was the one men’s ministry that has most impacted my life. This stealthy men’s ministry, so to speak, also explains why I’m so passionate about men’s ministry today.
To help you understand why these men had such an influence on my life, I need to describe my upbringing. In a nutshell, I grew up surrounded by what you might call “adult men at a distance.”
Take my father, for example. Ben Reese was a wonderful father in many ways and a very godly man. But he was forty-seven years old when I was born and he was extremely shy, which was like being raised by an introverted grandfather: he was always around, but he was two generations removed, and we rarely talked.
And then there were my three older brothers. The oldest, who is no longer living, was eighteen years older than I and severely mentally handicapped. Good luck relating to him. The next oldest is fifteen years older than me. My earliest memories of Paul are of him attending college. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly a focal point of his life. My third brother is twelve years older than I. My earliest memories of John are of his late high school years. So I really wasn’t a focal point of his life.
See what I mean? Four older men in my family, all adults – or almost adults – who had little social or emotional interaction with me.
Fortunately, I attended an outstanding church, Church of the Open Door in downtown Los Angeles, that had dozens and dozens – even hundreds – of godly male role models of different ages whom I could relate to. They were amazing men: biblically literate, spiritually mature, faithful husbands and fathers, intelligent, well-educated and successful in their careers. Men like Warren Olsen, who led our high school Sunday School class; Art Meier, who taught us on Thursday evenings; Jim Klubnik, my youth pastor, who gave me a love for ministry; Leighton Ogg, who personally took me under his wing and discipled me; Mark Neuenschwander, who gave me a vision for Christian community; and John (Bugsie) Bogosian, who always made church camp so much fun. These were the men who “filled in the blanks” in my young Christian discipleship experience.
The amazing thing was that there was no “official” men’s ministry at COD (as we called our church). But because men were always ministering and being ministered to so effectively, it didn’t matter.
That experience brings to mind something David Delk, formerly Executive Director of Man in the Mirror, said in an interview I did with him:
We would love to just kill the phrase, ?men?s ministry? and even the concept of men?s ministry. The reason for that is it?s unhelpful in most circumstances. And here?s why. When you think about men?s ministry, you think of men?s breakfasts, men?s retreats, men?s small groups, men?s service projects, all of which are good. And we?re thankful that those things are happening. And we need more of that to happen. But what you?re excluding are the guys who are playing guitar in the band, the men who are singing in the choir, the guys teaching the eighth grade boys, the men coaching the youth soccer team, the guy teaching the couple?s Sunday school class for the last ten years, the man who comes in and closes out the books every month as a volunteer accountant at the church, and on and on. And so every time you use the phrase, ?men?s ministry,? what those guys hear is, ?O, I?m not in that.? Well, how crazy is that? These are the kind of men we?re trying to produce. Why in the world would we want to keep using a phrase that makes them feel like they?re not part of it?
So we turn that on its head and talk about an all-inclusive ministry to men. And we come up with ways to talk about how our church is having interactions with any man as part of the ministry of what God is doing.
“An all-inclusive ministry to men,” now there’s a thought. What it means is that if you have just one man in your church, then you have a men’s ministry.
Now take that thought and run with it.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
_______________________________________________________________
Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
_______________________________________________________________
