The problem with Protestant, non-liturgical churches is they tend to be personality driven. The reason is because Protestant churches elevate the sermon to a central focus of worship. And if the sermon is critical to the worship service, then the ability of the pastor to preach the sermon well becomes paramount. The result is that every Protestant megachurch has at its center a powerful, charismatic preacher.
Liturgical churches, on the other hand, are, by definition, liturgy driven. And the liturgy is pretty much the same anywhere you go. The sermon, or homily, occupies a relatively minor part of the service. It’s the liturgy that is all important. And the liturgy in a Greek Orthodox church is the same in Houston as it is in New York City – just maybe performed with a different accent!
This tendency in Protestant churches to be personality driven has bled over into Protestant men’s ministry. Most national men’s ministries have had at their core a strong personality. Promise Keepers is a prime example. Coach Bill McCartney wasthe driving force of that major men’s movement in the 90’s. Other examples are Man in the Mirror (Patrick Morley) and The Navigators (Dawson Trotman).
This emphasis on strong leadership in men’s ministry has, in turn, helped shape the typical men’s minsitry concept of The Ideal Christian Man. Judging from the type of speakers presented to us at men’s conferences over the years, The Ideal Christian Man has played for the NFL in two Super Bowls, enlisted in the armed forces and become a Navy Seal, then started what is now a Fortune 500 company, and rounded out his career serving in the U. S. Senate.
Now there is nothing wrong with men’s ministries being personality driven. I use my share of Ideal Christian Men in my ministry because they get attention. I even have an interview with a Navy Seal that I’m about to publish. But when I listen to these Ideal Christian Men speak at our men’s conferences, one thought comes to my mind: I’m not them and they’re not me. Yes, we’re all Christians, for sure. But their personalities are obviously very different from mine.
“Wallflower” is the word that comes to my mind when I think about my personality. I love blending into the background. In fact, it’s a good thing wallpaper has gone out of style, otherwise I would become completely invisible. Other personality descriptors might be “quiet,” “aloof,” “pensive,” “bland.” My fingers can fly over a keyboard. But put me in a room with breathing human beings in it and I clam up.
And that brings me to the ministry God has called me to do: help churches develop men’s team ministries to the widowed and single parents. It’s not really the kind of stuff Ideal Christian Men do, or even think about. Nope, my ministry is for The Rest of Us Men – wallflowers like me. Give me men who have a hard time getting up in front of people and praying out loud; men with cold feet, sweaty palms, and quivering lips. Show me the guys who never played football in high school, let alone in the NFL. I want the Army bootcamp dropouts, not Navy Seals; the custodians who clean the floors of a Fortune 500 companies, not their CEOs; the students who ran for high school class president…and lost, not politicians.
I want The Rest of Us Men because I love to see how God fills our believing hearts with the love of Christ and then floods churches and neighborhoods with that love.
There are a lot of seeds in us wallflowers. And when we blossom, wither and die, we lay the groundwork for a new generation of believers.
And so, to all of my fellow wallflowers – The Rest of Us Men – I say this:
Wallflowers of the world, unite!
We have only our petals to lose.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
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