It’s no secret that American men have a problem with porn. Here are the sad statistics.
- 68% of young men visit a porn site at least once a week
- 12% of all websites are pornographic
- 25% of all search engine requests are porn related
But things are different for Christian men, right?
Wrong.
According to a 2014 survey by Barna Group and reported in Charisma Magazine, Christian men are just as vulnerable to pornography.
Among Christian men between 18 and 30 years old:
- 77 percent look at pornography at least monthly.
- 36 percent view pornography on a daily basis.
- 32 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 12 percent think they may be).
Among middle-aged Christian men (ages 31 to 49):
- 77 percent looked at pornography while at work in the past three months.
- 64 percent view pornography at least monthly.
- 18 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 8 percent think they may be).
Among married Christian men:
- 55 percent look at pornography at least monthly.
The plague of pornography among Christian men is one reason why almost every one of the 150 men’s conferences I’ve been to in the last fourteen years has had a workshop on overcoming pornography. Fortunately, there are a number of excellent men’s ministries and resources dedicated to helping men who have become enslaved to porn.
One thing I don’t see, however, is any kind of emphasis on the importance of good works in overcoming porn addiction. This is not surprising, given the absence of a focus on good works in men’s ministry specifically and in evangelical circles generally.
Scripture, however, frequently stresses the importance of good works as a substitute for “the works of the flesh,” one of which is sexual immorality. Romans 6:13-14 is an example.
Do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace. (NASB)
In this passage, presenting “your members as instruments of righteousness” refers to physical acts of good works just as presenting “the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness” refers to physical acts of evil works.
The? problem with ignoring good works in treating porn addiction, then, is that we omit a righteous substitute for the addiction and create a vacuum. I believe this is one reason why Christian men have such a difficult time overcoming porn addiction.
On the other hand, what I’m seeing with men’s team ministry to their widowed and single parents is just the opposite. There are several thousand men now who are ministering to their care receivers, and they do so on teams. Most of those care receivers are women. And most of the teams have been serving those women for years. And yet I have not heard of a single instance of any kind of inappropriate behavior.
Why? Because these men are “presenting themselves to God” and their bodies “as instruments of righteousness to God.”
At first blush, it seems counter intuitive to assign Christian men to serve women, especially when men have such a difficult time with lust. But by practicing the love of Christ through doing good works for women over the course of months and years, men come to know and understand them in a completely different context from the world. They begin to see women as valuable in and of themselves, as immortal souls created by God and saved by grace. That value has nothing to do with sex, marriage and procreation, and everything to do with their equal standing with men before God.
And within that context–that new perspective on who women are–something very important happens: sexual immorality becomes repugnant to a Christian man. He doesn’t have to “try” to think this way or feel this way. It just happens.
So when it comes to treating Christian men who have a problem with porn, let’s continue with the accountability groups, Scripture memorization and all the rest. But let’s also give men a practical alternative to pornography that teaches them how amazing and awesome righteousness actually is.
Discussion Questions
- Have you ever had an open discussion with other Christian men about pornography and pornography addiction?
- Why do you think it is so difficult to discuss this issue?
- If you are part of a men’s team ministry, has that ministry helped you have a more healthy attitude toward women?
- Do you have a friend that you can share anything with and who will hold you accountable?