Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
I have this pet peeve that 1 Corinthians 13 isn’t appropriate for weddings. Here’s why.
Christians – and everyone else – tend to think Christian love is something frail and fragile, requiring perfect circumstances to flourish. Picture an orchid in a hothouse. As long as it’s in the hothouse, it does fine. But take it outside into “the real world” and it wilts. In the same way, we think Christian love can only exist in perfect relationships. But take it outside into the warp and woof of life and it will die.
That is why we so often read 1 Corinthians 13 – the biblical passage on love – at weddings. What better time to read about perfect love than at the perfect moment a wedding depicts?
Unfortunately, that is not what 1 Corinthians 13 is about. It’s not about perfect love in perfect relationships, but perfect love in horrible relationships. Paul is writing to Christians who are divided and carnal. They’re hoarding food at “love” feasts, getting drunk at church, losing control of themselves in worship. They’re even suing each other. They’re every pastor’s nightmare. It’s in those kinds of relationships, Paul writes, where Christian love really flourishes.
Understanding Christian love in this way mean’s it’s not the limo we take from the wedding, but the tow truck we call when the limo breaks down. It’s showing us what to do when our relationships shatter. It’s more like a prenuptial agreement: “This is what we’re agreeing to do when every fiber in our being screams, ‘I want a divorce!'”
You wouldn’t read a prenup at your wedding, would you? Then don’t read 1 Corinthians 13 at your wedding.
Read it in your divorce lawyer’s office, before you sign the papers.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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