With the understanding that the vast majority of my readers are Christians, I must say that often in practice we act instead like we’re Mormons. Here’s why.
I’m no authority on LDS theology, but I do know that Mormons believe that marriage survives death and lasts into eternity. Hence, Mormons view marriage, and consequently, family, as foundational to their church.
On the other hand, historic, orthodox, Christianity and the Bible itself, teach that marriage ends at death. Individual believers united together as the corporate body of Christ are the foundation of the church, not their marriages and families. Their relationships with each other as members of the body of Christ survive after death and into eternity. Therefore, the church, and not the family, is the “pillar and support of the truth.”
We see this emphasis on the church as a new “family” that is distinct from our earthly families in Jesus’ ministry. Jesus didn’t go around the countryside holding seminars for his followers on how to be better husbands and fathers. Instead, he took his disciples away from their wives and children and homes and work and taught them to love one another the way he loved them. Jesus instituted this “new commandment” for his disciples to love one another as he had loved them in John 13 and it’s why the term “one another” occurs only once in the New Testament prior to John 13, but again and again after it.
Thus this new love that Jesus taught transcends marriage and family. It has little to do with marriage and sex and procreation and everything to do with spiritually renewed, born again -but otherwise mostly physically unrelated – Christians learning how to love each other the way Christ does. Truth be told, the Bible – and especially Jesus – place little trust on the ability of earthly families to transmit spiritual life. A simple review of the lives of the Patriarchs and the dynasties of Judah and Israel demonstrate this sad reality. (Not to mention our modern day church’s dismal record on retaining children raised in the church.)
So orthodox, bible-believing Christians believe marriage ends at death and the church as the body of Christ extends into eternity. But in practice, we do just the opposite. Like Mormons, we focus almost exclusively on marriage and family in our churches. Look at the budget of almost any Protestant church and you will see a huge amount of money devoted to children’s, youth and couples’ ministry. Or consider the names of many church and para church ministries: Family Life Bookstore, The Family Church, Rock Family Church, Faith in the Family, Family Worship Center. Or attend any men’s or women’s conference and you’ll witness the same kind of emphasis on marriage and family.
Of course, practicing the love of Christ does have application in our relationships as spouses and parents. We want to be consistent in our walk with the Lord in all of our stations of life. But even when applying Christ’s love to, say, husbands, the Apostle Paul views it as derivative: “Husbands, love your wivesasChrist loves the church and gave himself up for her.”
The problem with overemphasizing marriage and family in our churches is that the body of Christ contains many adults who are not married and who may have little or no family. People such as their widowed and single parents suffer as a result. What relevance does the love of Christ have for them when all the church does is focus on children and husbands and wives?
What’s fascinating to me is that the early church managed to serve it’s children and couples while also serving the needs of its qualified widows.And – get this – it did so while budgeting next to nothing on Christian education.
I’m not saying that churches should stop ministering to children and couples. And I’m also not saying it’s wrong to spend money on ministries that the early church didn’t spend money on. But it is wrong to spend nothing on what the early church did spend money on: the neediest people in our congregations – people who often have no family at all. When we do so, we miss the fullness of blessing God intends for the church.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
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One thought on “We’re Not Mormons, People”
Hey Herb! Thank you for your post and all that you do in your ministry. I’m Mormon and I do agree that we believe that families can be together even after this life. We believe that death is definitely not the end of it. You are very right when you say that we need to minister to those who are really in need….not just our families. There is a lot of need out there and Christians needs to work together!