“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
I don’t know about everyone else, but I was really bad at loving my neighbor as myself. I give myself passing grades on husbandhood and fatherhood. But when it came to the neighborhood? Frankly, I could have cared less.
In other words, I was failing to obey the second greatest commandment. The Bible seems to be saying that a Christian is the best thing that can ever happen to a neighborhood – or at least he should be. If that’s really true, then I wasn’t being the Christian I needed to be.
Fortunately, time is changing all that for me. I’ve had a few decades to really think about this and put a few things into practice. And if you’re like I was – totally clueless on how to love your neighbor as yourself – I have some words of encouragement for you: time is on your side.
First, give yourself some time – maybe three or four years – to think about the command itself: “You… shall… love… your… neighbor… as… yourself.” Let it really sink in.
- You. Well, that would be me, wouldn’t it?
- Shall. Not “should.” Not “could.” Not “might.” Not… okay I get it.
- Love. I know all about agape love – selfless, unconditional love; the kind of love I don’t come by naturally.
- Your. There’s God talking to me again. He seems to be pointing at someone close to me.
- Neighbor. Who’s this? It was a great biblical question with a great biblical answer: always the person who lives near me, but it can be anyone I run into with a life-threatening need.
- As. Not just any kind of love will do. Quality counts.
- Yourself. How I love myself affects how I love others. Am I properly loving myself? Am I loving others that way?
Now that you’ve got a grip on the command, how do you implement it?
Turns out, that takes time too. You can’t just go door to door to your neighbors and tell them that you now love them. Well, you could. But they’d all think that you’re now crazy. You have to prove your love for them over time. And since they’re stuck with you and you’re stuck with them until either you or they move, you have a captive audience.
The nice thing about neighbors is that they’re convenient. We live out our lives in front of each other. We see them almost daily when they back out of their driveway, get their mail, take out their trash, mow their lawn, rake their leaves (sometimes).
Because of this convenience, time gives us opportunities to learn names, observe family relationships, hear about problems we can help with. True, air conditioning has made early summer evening respites on front porches unnecessary and garage door openers have made it easier to disappear into our homes. But even our deeply ingrained sense of privacy can’t overcome proximity. Eventually the details of our lives leak out.
Time also gives us opportunities to make amends. We can’t just walk away from problems. We have to deal with them in some way. Time makes it possible for us to think about issues and how to address them. We can plan for the best possible outcome.
Time also reveals character and priorities. If seeing people on the street or in the store is like looking at a snapshot of someone, then living next to people is like watching them in a movie. We see them in the context of their lives and learn what they think is worthy of their effort, time and money. Do they have a good marriage? Time will tell. Are their kids okay? Time will reveal that. Are they sinking financially? You’ll find out in time as well.
Time enables trees and relationships to grow. Over time, a healthy, mature neighborhood – with some obedient Christians in it – will have a multitude of both.
This post first appeared in New Commandment.org.
So how are you doing with your neighbors? Are you finding some success in loving them as yourself?
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
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