Being a multimillionaire these days isn’t what it used to be. But it’s still an easy way to classify those in the upper echelons of our society. If you’re one of the three people reading this who fall into this category and have the ability to solve most of your problems by simply writing a check, then this post is for you. (The rest us can dream along, or go to McDonalds and drown our financial sorrows in a 57 cent senior coffee.)
The problem with people like the three of you is that you not only solve your own problems by writing checks, you solve other people’s problems by writing checks as well. With a simple flourish of penmanship followed by a tearing sound announcing the impending transfer of wealth, you produce with your outstretched arm a small piece of paper in your hand with some figures and your signature on it. After you’ve given it to your grateful recipient, you close the deal with a smile and a handshake. Then, with the confidence that you have solved one more problem in someone else’ life, you get on with your own. You wrote the check…now you can forget.
The problem with this charitable ritual is that you do forget. Or worse, you never learned enough about the object of your generosity to have anything to forget.
Take, for example, the very wealthy couple in my last pastorate.
The years 1999-2001 were boom times in the community where my church was located. The dot com bubble at the turn of the century hadn’t imploded yet and the residents of our town, a hotbed of tech industries, were direct beneficiaries. Those beneficiaries included a number of people in my congregation. (Years later a church member, who worked for one of those dot com companies and had stock in it, told me he sold half his stock during the boom and bought a beautiful home in an upscale part of town. Then he sold the other half after the bust and bought a set of four tires for his truck!)
One man in my church had done particularly well. He had the good fortune (wealthy people say “good fortune” instead of “luck”) of being one of the first ten employees of what has now become a very large tech company. Consequently he and his wife had more money than they knew what to do with. One time they took me to Nordstrom and bought their pastor the most expensive pair of shoes I’ve ever owned: alligator leather dress shoes. I wore them once – at a funeral I officiated at. They hurt so bad I thought I was about to die. After the service, I had to go home and change into my old pair of dress shoes so I could attend the family meal.
Anyway, we had a men’s team ministry to their widowed and single parents in our church, so I invited this uber wealthy guy to be on my team. At the time, we were serving a poor, single mom. Her backyard, which obviously hadn’t been watered for years, was messy with weeds. Our task that particular Saturday morning was to pull them. So there we were, I, the rich guy, and the rest of our team, pulling weeds and stuffing them into trash bags.
I thought to myself, “This single mom has no idea who this man is pulling her weeds. This is so cool!”
But then I looked over at the rich guy and saw the expression on his face. He was not happy! I could tell immediately what he was thinking: “I could hire someone to do this! I’m wasting my time.”
After we finished that day he left in a huff and quit the team.
Now I want to point out that this gentleman and his wife continued to be very generous. In fact, their generosity, along with the generosity of others in that church, enabled me to start this ministry to the widowed and single parents. Their financial gifts have impacted thousands of people.
So for those three of you reading this who are wealthy, keep on writing those checks.
But I want to encourage you to do something more. Get together with some friends, find a widow or single mom, and go pull her weeds. And when you’re finished, fix her toilet and paint her den as well. Then go back again and again, month after month, as long as she needs you to. Commit to her, identify with her, and sacrifice for her. And yes, write her a check every once in a while too.
Just know that writing that check isn’t enough.
Loving her is.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
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