Recently, I’ve been noticing a term popping up in our culture that I had never heard before. It’s “impostor syndrome.” Impostor syndrome is “a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud.'”
I’m afraid Christians can struggle with impostor syndrome when it comes to the central command of our faith: to love each other the way Christ has loved us. Here’s how this command is stated in John 13:34-35:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (NIV)
I call my ministry “New Commandment Men’s Ministries” after this passage because this command is so important for men’s ministry. Simply put, men’s ministry is training men to love like Jesus Christ.
The problem with trying to love others as Christ has loved us, however, is that it’s difficult for us to get our head around this command. When exactly are we actually obeying it?
First of all, we can have the opposite of impostor syndrome when it comes to loving others as Christ has loved us. That is, we can have such a high view of ourselves that we think we have automatically fulfilled it without any significant change in our lives.
This clearly is not what Christ meant. Loving others as he has loved us happens only when we follow his example. We have to intentionally and consistently look to him and imitate him before we can truly love each other as he does. Doing so marks us out from the world as his disciples.
On the other hand, we can have such an exalted view of Christ’s love that we think there is no way we could ever possibly love like him. No matter how hard we try, we think, we will always fail. After all, Jesus is perfect and he is God. We’re not perfect and we’re not God. So how can we possibly love others the way he has loved us?
That attitude is the essence of impostor syndrome: no matter what our accomplishments are as we love others like Christ, we think we will be exposed as a failure, a fraud. We can never really know when we’re loving others as Christ has loved us, we think.
But that is not true. In fact, it’s a Satanic lie. Yes, we can love like Jesus Christ and yes, we can know when we are doing it. And because of that, we can do it often and we can do it consistently.
God, in Christ Jesus, has identified with us in the Incarnation. He has committed to us in the Incarnation. And he has sacrificed for us in Redemption. And when these three qualities – identification, commitment, and sacrifice – are present in any of our relationships, we are loving that person as Jesus Christ has loved us.
When we identify with, commit to, and sacrifice for our wife, we are loving her as Christ has loved us.
When we identify with, commit to, and sacrifice for our children, we are loving them as Christ has loved us.
But the love of Christ involves far more than simply marriage and family. It extends to others as well, especially to fellow believers, to each other.
So when we identify with, commit to, and sacrifice for a widow, widower, or single parent in our church or community, we are loving them as Christ has loved us as well.
Alternatively, we are not loving someone we are not willing to identify with. We are not loving someone we are not willing to commit to. And we are not loving someone we are not willing to sacrifice for.
When all of these qualities are present, the love of Christ is present. When one of them is missing, the love of Christ is missing.
It’s as simple as that.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
Since 2003 New Commandment Men’s Ministries has helped hundreds of churches throughout North American and around the world recruit teams of men who permanently adopt their widowed and single parents in their congregations for the purpose of donating two hours of service to them one Saturday morning each month. We accomplish this with a free training site called New Commandment Men’s Ministry
Learn how to mobilize your men’s ministry to meet every pressing need in your church here.
_______________________________________________________________
Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
_______________________________________________________________
