This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, “A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men.”
The last thing I wanted to do was spend the rest of my ministry years bugging pastors
God had called me to do “this men’s team ministry thing.” But I had no idea how I was to do it.
How does one go about telling churches about a simple and effective men’s ministry concept that energizes men while addressing significant issues relating to the church’s widows, single moms, and fatherless children, groups of people who are almost completely ignored in America’s churches?
It seemed like a daunting task because I knew how difficult it is to contact pastors; after all, I had been a pastor for twenty years. Over two decades, I had averaged at least one cold call per day. Someone was always trying to sell me something related to church, or raising support for their missionary endeavor, or asking for a handout. You name it, I got calls for it. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the rest of my ministry years bugging pastors the way I had been.
I just knew that the Lord had undeniably called me to somehow persuade churches to consider using teams of men to meet their pressing needs and that he would show me how to do it.
I also knew that in order to carry out the ministry in an organized, sustainable, and accountable way, I first needed to start a non-profit.
Wading through the non-profit details
“Let all things be done decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40
While I had two decades of experience managing churches and ministering in churches, I had little experience with parachurch non-profits. Compared to churches, parachurch non-profits are a completely different animal and starting one presented a huge learning curve for me. Here are some of the questions I had to grapple with:
- What is a non-profit and what are the legal requirements for starting one?
Since this is a legal matter, I am simply going to quote The Free Dictionary by Farlex’s extended definition of a non-profit.
A non-profit is “An organization incorporated under state laws and approved by both the state’s Secretary of State and its taxing authority as operating for educational, charitable, social, religious, civic or humanitarian purposes. A nonprofit corporation (also called “not for profit corporation”) is formed by incorporators, has a board of directors and officers, but no shareholders….In order for contributions to the corporation to be deductible as charitable gifts on federal income taxes, the corporation must submit a detailed application (with a substantial fee) for an Internal Revenue Service ruling that it is established for one of the specific nonprofit purposes spelled out in the Internal Revenue Code.”
While this definition sounds daunting, by researching Colorado’s Secretary of State’s website as well as the IRS’ website, I discovered that one can normally set up a non-profit without having to consult an attorney.
Another solution to forming a non-profit I came across is the non-profit under the umbrella of another, already established, Christian men’s ministry non-profit. For information on men’s ministries that specialize in providing this service, contact National Coalition of Ministries to Men at NCMM.org.
In January, 2003, New Commandment Men’s Ministries successfully launched as a non-profit 501 (c)3 corporation with EIN #05-0556506.
- What exactly is it that we want to accomplish with this ministry?
Michael Hyatt, a Christian expert on business leadership, says every non-profit organization should be able to complete this one sentence: “We do ___________(this)___________ so that __________(this will happen)_________.” Going through this exercise helps non-profits remain focused on what it is that they are attempting to do and what exactly they expect to accomplish by doing it.
For New Commandment Men’s Ministries, that sentence reads like this, “New Commandment Men’s Ministries helps churches recruit teams of men who permanently adopt their widows, single moms, and fatherless children so that their churches can say, ‘There is no needy person among us.'”
- What will we name it?
The new commandment, mentioned three times by Jesus in his last night discourse, but most extensively in John 13:34-35, commands believers to love each other as Christ loves us. Since, according to James 1:27, loving those in our churches who are widows, single moms, and fatherless children is the highest expression of Christ’s love, we decided to call our ministry New Commandment Men’s Ministries.
- How will the ministry be financed?
Over the years, New Commandment Men’s Ministries has been financed in a variety of ways. While the ministry has always received the bulk of its financial income through faithful monthly supporters, early on the ministry was also supported by charging churches a consultation fee. Later, when we started working with men’s conferences, we stopped charging consulting fees and supplemented donations with the sale of books and DVDs.
Currently, all of our training resources, including our books and DVDs, are provided free of charge and the ministry is supported 100% by donations. (You can make a special donation or become a regular donor here.)
- Will it be a franchise ministry, a consulting ministry, or some other kind of ministry?
New Commandment Men’s Ministries chose to be a consulting ministry. That is, we decided to be the type of ministry that provides training, advice, and a service model that churches can use to serve their widows, single moms, and fatherless children.
In this type of ministry, churches have no official relationship with New Commandment Men’s Ministries, can modify our recommended service model any way they want, and they can name their men’s team ministry to their widows, single moms, and fatherless children anything they want.
Another option was to form a franchise ministry, where we would start local New Commandment Men’s Ministry chapters in churches with a standardized program. However, we went the consulting route instead so that we could reach the broadest possible audience.
- What kind of churches do we want to reach?
We decided from the very beginning that we would help any church that has an interest in using its men to meet the needs of their widows, single moms, and fatherless children. For the past 20 years, New Commandment has helped over 1,000 churches in dozens of denominations start men’s team ministries.
- How will we get the word out?
I and my board knew nothing about how to market this ministry when we started New Commandment. In fact, we knew nothing about marketing period.
Prior to the launch of the ministry, I had helped three churches start men’s team ministries. It was hardly a huge track record. So I set about buttonholing pastors whom I knew personally, sharing my story with them of how God had called me to do this ministry. Several of my first churches started their men’s team ministries this way.
Over the years we have tried a number of different marketing approaches. We have been interviewed on TV and radio, run ads online, used free and paid social media, written a blog, published a promotional DVD, provided pulpit supply in churches, advertised in men’s conferences, held regional pastor luncheons, and, yes, even made cold calls (ugh). We’ve tried pretty much everything except flying a banner behind an airplane at the beach on the fourth of July.
But the most successful means of reaching out to churches have been conducting workshops at men’s conferences, ranking high in organic and paid Google and Bing search tools on the internet, and plain old word of mouth.
- How do we measure progress?
Measuring progress with this ministry is pretty straightforward. We base our progress primarily on the number of churches we have helped start men’s team ministries to their widows, single moms, and fatherless children.
But there are a number of other metrics we use as well, such as the total number of men on teams, the total number of care receivers being served, the number of states that have churches with men’s team ministries, the number of countries that have churches with men’s team ministries, and the number of online downloads of our training material.
For more thoughts on starting a non-profit men’s ministry, read my post “Starting a Non-Profit Men’s Ministry?”
On your mark, get set, go…write training material for men on how to practice the love of Christ for widows, single moms, and fatherless children
The core message of New Commandment Men’s Ministries is this: while the love of Christ has practical application for men in all of their relationships, such as with their wives and children (Ephesians 5:25), it especially has direct and immediate practical application in their relationships with widows, single moms, fatherless children, and others with long term pressing needs in their churches (1 Timothy 5:1).
We emphasize that men should practice the application of the love of Christ for widows, single moms, fatherless children, and others because we see this same emphasis for men in the Old Testament (i.e. Job, who made “the widow’s heart sing” in Job 29, Boaz and Ruth in the book of Ruth, Elijah and the widow at Zarepath in 1 Kings 17, etc.), as well as in the earthly ministry of Jesus (i.e., when he was on the cross and assigned his mother Mary, a widow and single mom, into John’s care in John 19), and especially in the ministry of the early church as recorded in the book of Acts and the epistles (i.e., Barnabas in Acts 4, deacons in Acts 6, the Ephesian elders in Acts 20, Timothy in 1 Timothy 5, etc.).
Consequently, all of my writing has focused on the love of Christ and how men can practice it in the local church by meeting the pressing needs of widows, single moms, fatherless children and others. Here are the results:
- The funeral sermon notes
When I have been at men’s conferences and taught my workshop on men’s team ministry, the section on the three unique qualities of the love of Christ (personal identification, commitment, and sacrifice) and how they apply to widows, single moms, and fatherless children, were from my funeral sermon notes (See video #2 at this link.).
These are the sermon notes I preached at my brother-in-law’s funeral and also the notes Chris Van Brocklin sent to 600 men’s ministry leaders in the Evangelical Free Church of America. I have repeated the central message of that sermon all over North America and Europe a couple of hundred times over the last nineteen years. I never get tired of it. In fact, every time I teach this material it feels like I’m teaching it for the first time.
- The orientation workbook
When the ministry first started, I worked directly with churches and personally lead orientation meetings for their men. I quickly realized that I needed to write printed material for the men I was training so they could have something to keep after I left.
So nineteen years ago I wrote a workbook entitled “Developing a Men’s Team Ministry to Widows, Widowers, and Single Parents.” The workbook has since been updated and expanded. Through the years over ten thousand copies have been sold. It is currently available for downloading, copying, and distributing free of charge.
- The devotional study guide
New Commandment Men’s Ministries encourages men’s team ministries to meet together at their church at the start of their once a month service day for an hour of Bible study, prayer, and last minute planning. They then split up into their teams and go out to serve their care receivers. To facilitate the devotional time, I wrote a devotional study guide called “Doing Good Well”. It is also available for downloading, copying, and distributing free of charge.
- The five circles of a Christian man’s responsibility to meet pressing needs and how to meet them
A third book that is available for downloading, copying, and distributing free of charge is “The One Amazing Thing God Wants to Do with Men.” This e-book provides a general map for a man’s good works by showing men how service to widows, single moms, and fatherless children fits in with God’s overall plan for his good works. I describe this plan with five concentric circles.
The first, inner circle represents a man’s responsibility to himself. God wants men to be self-sufficient so they are not a burden to others. The second circle represents a man’s responsibility to provide for his wife and children. The third circle represents a man’s responsibility to make sure no one in his extended family has pressing needs. The fourth circle is the one New Commandment focuses on. This circle involves a man’s responsibility to join with other men in meeting the pressing needs within his church. The fifth and final concentric circle represents a man’s responsibility to plead the cause of his neighbors who are in need.
- The monthly news letter that turned into a blog
I started out by writing a monthly printed newsletter that I sent by snail mail to all my supporters. By my second year with New Commandment, the internet was coming into its own. It didn’t take long to realize that I could keep everyone informed on the ministry’s progress, as well as do some significant writing, by starting a blog.
Not only did my blog accomplish everything my newsletter did, but it also took much less time and money to publish. Through the years, I have written over six hundred posts that go out to several hundred recipients.
- The ministry website
I remember attending a men’s conference in late 2003 and someone asked me for my ministry’s website address. I told him I didn’t have a website and he promptly told me that soon every ministry was going to have to have a website or they would be completely sidelined.
So I went home, contacted a volunteer who knew something about the internet, and he worked up a simple, one page website for me. That website sat on the internet for several years before I realized how much more I could accomplish with the internet. Over time, and after hundreds of hours of hard work, I have become relatively well educated about websites and we now have an effective training website.
- The cornerstone articles
Cornerstone articles are extensive articles on the internet on any given topic that serve as go-to resources for those topics. They normally rank at the top, or near the top, of page 1 in the search results on their topic. Cornerstone articles are valuable because they are free advertising for whoever writes them.
I have spent the better part of the past year writing cornerstone articles. The three that I have completed are on the topics of ministry to widows, ministry to single moms, and ministry to fatherless boys. All of them rank at the top, or near the top, of Google search results for those terms. In just the last month, two hundred and thirty-seven people from around the world searched on these topics and then found and read my articles. Currently, I am writing a cornerstone article on ministry to men. (My previous posts for the last few months are a part of this project.)
The first churches New Commandment helped to start men’s team ministries
Contacting churches with pastors and pastoral staff that I knew proved to be an effective strategy. Within nine months from starting New Commandment Men’s Ministries, First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California had 12 teams, Crossroads Church in Northglenn, Colorado had 12 teams, New Hope Community Church in Aurora, Colorado had 12 teams, and South East Christian Church in Aurora, Colorado had 1 team, First Southern Baptist Church in Westminster, Colorado had 2 teams, Green Valley Church in Denver had 3 teams, and North Huron Christian Center in Northglenn, Colorado had 2 teams, for a total of 44 teams in 7 churches. This meant that in just nine months, about 140 men were serving around 35 widows and single moms for two hours one Saturday morning every month, for a total of 280 man-hours of service per month.
The reports I received back from these churches were encouraging. The men loved the ministry because it was only one Saturday morning a month for two hours. And since they were on teams, if they had to miss a service day, the rest of the team could pick up the slack. The widows and single moms were ecstatic that their churches were providing this service for them. And finally, the pastors appreciated how easy the ministry was to start and maintain.
One of the early churches to start men’s team ministries, Crossroads Church in Northglenn, Colorado, is especially dear to me. Patti and I have attended Crossroads for two decades and I head up the men’s team ministry there as a volunteer. We started in May of 2003 with three teams and within a year had fifteen teams.
I serve on a team at Crossroads that over the years has had a truck driver, a retiree, a commercial airline pilot and an accountant as team members. We have had four different care receivers assigned to us, each with unique needs. We currently serve an elderly widow who has no children and only a few relatives who live in other states.
Needless to say, when you work with men you have known for years and years, you develop very deep relationships, and that has definitely been our experience. We have walked with each other through good and bad times as we have served our care receivers.
On a couple of occasions, my former pastor, who is now retired, made the comment to me that ministries in churches often involve conflict, but he was impressed that he had had no problems with our men’s team ministry. I think the reason is because we just see ourselves as servants who support each other as we serve our care receivers.
Of course, our care receivers have deeply appreciated the men’s team ministry. On one occasion, we held a breakfast in their honor and during a share time three of them, all widows, stood up and said that they used to be depressed, but now that they had a team, they no longer were. That is the love of Christ in action.
An invitation to work with Brian Doyle and Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Equipping Conferences
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
But there was a problem with my marketing strategy: I only knew a limited number of pastors, most of them within a few miles of my home, and soon I had contacted all of them. Fortunately, at about the same time I realized I needed to adjust my marketing strategy, I got a phone call from Chris Van Brocklin saying that he had recommended New Commandment Men’s Ministries to Brian Doyle as a potential seminar presenter at his Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Equipping Conferences, which, at the time, were being held in New England.
Like myself and many other men’s ministry leaders, Brian Doyle had been influenced by Promise Keepers. Seeing the huge amount of capital PK needed to run a two day men’s ministry stadium event, Brian founded Iron Sharpens Iron men’s conference ministries and kept PK’s basic model of providing men with a quality worship experience comprised of excellent music and compelling speakers, but scaled everything else back. For example, instead of meeting in stadiums, ISI conferences meet in churches, often provided free of charge. And instead of PK’s two day events, Iron Sharpens Iron conferences are one day events.
Another important distinction between Promise Keepers and Iron Sharpens Iron are the 16, seventy-five minute long, breakout “equipping seminars” (eight in the morning and eight in the afternoon) that ISI provides at each conference on different topics that are relevant to men. Both local and national ministries lead these workshops for the conferences and also host booths in the conference break areas.
When Chris Van Brocklin explained to me what Iron Sharpens Iron and its breakout seminars were all about, the opportunity to lead a seminar seemed perfect to me and I quickly accepted the invitation. It proved to be a good decision, because Iron Sharpens Iron has been a boon to New Commandment ever since.
For the past 20 years, I and other trained volunteers have given almost 200 seminars at Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Equipping Conferences on how to start a men’s team ministry to widows, single moms, and fatherless children. As a result, men from 947 different churches in dozens of states have purchased our training material through those seminars!
I can only say, praise the Lord for Brian Doyle and Iron Sharpens Iron.
The voice of one crying on the internet
I call the internet the modern version of Paul’s Roman road; just as Paul used Rome’s network of well-maintained roads throughout its empire to spread the gospel, so I have come to see the internet as an effective and efficient way to train churches around the world how to use teams of men to serve their widows, single moms, and fatherless children.
I began the process of transitioning from conducting seminars at men’s conferences to utilizing the internet for training men in 2017. Since the seminars had provided an important source of income for the ministry through book sales, I decided I would turn the website into a paid membership site. I spent several months learning how to do that and then wrote material for the site.
The project was not easy. It took me hundreds of hours to learn the necessary skills to build out the membership site (the ministry didn’t have the finances to hire someone to do it, or the volunteers who had the skills to do it).
By 2019 I finished my last men’s conference and went full time with online ministry. The membership site was moderately successful. About fifty churches utilized it to start their men’s team ministries. But then the pandemic hit. Since most churches were focused on just surviving, very few new churches were interested in starting a new men’s ministry.
But at least I could keep busy writing during the pandemic and providing material for the site. If I had still been doing conference ministry when the pandemic started, I would have been completely sidelined with little to do for a couple of years.
Free at last
In March of this year (2022), New Commandment Men’s Ministries made a major change to its ministry model. We did away with the membership site and transitioned the website to a free, all-access site. Overnight, anyone anywhere in the world could access our training on the site and download and share all of our material, including our books and videos, completely free of charge.
The response has been terrific. In just the past seven months, our training material has been downloaded 500 times.
New Commandment Men’s Ministries now has street cred
“But does this work?” That is the question every single pastor, men’s ministry leader, and potential men’s ministry volunteer automatically asks, either verbally or to himself, when presented with the men’s team ministry model.
After twenty-four years, both as a pastor who has done men’s team ministry for the widows, single moms, and fatherless children in my own churches, and now as a full-time proponent of men’s team ministry to widows, single moms, and fatherless children, the answer is unequivocally, “Yes, it works!”
We have seen this ministry work in very small churches and in very, very large churches. In urban churches, in suburban churches, and in rural churches. In churches on the east coast and on the west coast. In churches in the mid west and in the south. We have seen it work in churches in the US, in Canada, in Latvia, in Greece, in Nigeria, in South Africa, in New Zealand, and in Australia.
Men’s team ministry works because it is biblical, because it is pleasing to the Lord, because it makes “the widow’s heart sing,” because it meets the needs of single moms and their fatherless children, because it fulfills Christ’s command for believers to love each other as he has loved us, because it adorns the gospel and draws the unsaved to faith in Christ, because men love it, because it is easy to start and easy to maintain, and because it effectively compensates for our highly mobile, impersonal, and individualistic culture.
As a result of this fruit, I have had the privilege of speaking on men’s team ministry on Focus on the Family radio, on Day Star TV, on podcasts, as well as in seminaries and churches in North America and Europe. The ministry has been mentioned in books on men’s ministry and articles about it have appeared in Christian magazines.
And when I have died and gone to be with the Lord, should he tarry, this ministry will, by the grace of God, continue on the internet for many more years to come.
For all of this I give God the praise and the glory.
This post first appeared in NewCommandment.org.
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Learn how to form teams of men for every widow, single mom
and fatherless child in your church at NewCommandment.org.
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