Using teams of men to serve widows, single moms, and fatherless children
Using teams of men to serve widows, single moms, and fatherless children

Meeting to Meet Needs – Archived Posts

Is Money the Root of All Evil?

There is nothing wrong with having money You have probably heard someone say, “Money is the root of all evil!” However, that’s not what Scripture teaches. Rather, Scripture teaches that it is the love of money that is the root of all evil. The passage in question shows up in ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works: The Practice and Teaching of Good Works in OT Historical Books

Let's review Having looked at the practice and teaching of good works in the Pentateuch, we learned several things about doing good works. First, a believer's sin affects in a negative way how he or she experiences God's plan for their good works, but not God's ultimate outworking of his ...

Stones of Remembrance

Like everyone else, we believers can be forgetful people. We especially can forget the many instances of God's goodness to us. What to do? Joshua 4: 4-9 records the command of Joshua for the Israelites to set up stones of remembrance. “So, Joshua called together the twelve men he had ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works: The Practice and Teaching of Good Works in the Pentateuch

In the previous section of this series on a practical theology of good works we looked at the good works that God himself has done as recorded in the Bible. We did so in order to gain God's perspective on good works. Specifically, we looked at God's good works in ...

Jesus is Our King

Every four years, increasingly it seems, our country is whipped into a frenzy during the months leading up to the November presidential elections. Both sides dig in. Positions solidify. Name calling and ad hominem attacks are thrown around. Politicians promise life will be rosy if you give them your vote ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works: Finding Out What Pleases the Lord

When it comes to God and his good works, God calls all believers to participate with him as he does them Some of my fondest and earliest memories are of my father teaching me how to straighten old nails. A survivor of the Depression, Dad made it a practice of ...

Why Your Men’s Ministry Must Include Men with Disabilities

One in five people in the United States suffer from a disability"Approximately one in five people in the United States live with a disability. According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, about 19% of the U.S. population reported having a disability in the most recent American Community Survey (ACS)." ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works: Redemption – God’s Greatest Good Work of All

We have all been slaves to something "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another." Titus 3:3 Never underestimate the ability of us human beings to enslave each ...

Do We Retire from Vocational Christian Ministry?

“And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.” 2 Timothy 2:2 Some in vocational ministry think retirement is unbiblical A popular seminary professor, now with the Lord, always warned students against retirement ...

The Inevitable Disappointment of Following “Celebrity” Pastors

Once again news has broken regarding the “sin” of a well-known, influential minister. This news hit me particularly hard as this is a man I’ve listened to and learned from on hundreds of occasions. Here are four reminders to take away when you hear this kind of news. 1. God ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works: God’s Good Works in Jesus’ Earthly Ministry

"It is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work." John 14:10 I have a thought experiment for us to do. In our fallen world, what kind of good works would a perfect person, who has direct access to a holy God and his infinite power, do? A ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works – God’s Good Works in the Incarnation

In this series of posts outlining a practical theology of good works, we are looking at what kind of good works God has done in human history in order to provide a context for the kind of good works God wants us to do. So far, we have reviewed God's ...

Dads, Time Flies with Your Children … Invest it Well!

This weekend, my wife and I will marry off the fifth of our five children. I can’t believe how fast the time raced by. Sure, when I was a young dad, older men warned me, “They grow up fast.” Intuitively I knew this to be true, but still it surprises ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works: God’s Good Works in Old Testament History

I started this pursuit of a practical theology of good works by looking at the good works that God does. My thinking is that the good works that God has for us to do will resemble in many ways the good works that God himself has already done, is doing, ...

Don’t Forget the Single Men!

Much of men’s ministry centers around married men. Sure, teaching men on marriage, parenting, and family is critical, but many single men are also involved in men’s ministry and they oftentimes feel left out or singled out. Here are three principles to keep in mind as you minister to men ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works – God’s Good Works in Response to the Fall

As we look at God's good works in history. we are learning that what God does reveals his nature. In creation, we saw that God's good works reveal his omniscience and omnipotence. In his creation of Adam and Eve in his image, we learn that God himself is personal. And ...

Four Reasons to Celebrate Resurrection Sunday           

It’s springtime! While some areas of the U.S. are still experiencing snowstorms, most of the country is seeing the greening and sprouting which warm weather brings. Flowers are blooming and folks are spreading Weed-N-Feed on their lawns. It’s also time for believers in Jesus Christ to celebrate Resurrection Sunday. Here ...

Toward a Practical Theology of Good Works – God and His Good Works in Creation

"My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” - Jesus Christians worship the God who does things, not lifeless, immobile idols. Nor do we worship abstract ideas, immoral demigods, or whatever other gods we might make up in our minds. We worship ...

A Major Difference Between Marriage and Parenting

People are confused about Jesus' teaching on marriage Reading online comments regarding Jesus and marriage fascinates me. Here is a random list of some of them: "Jesus never got married … so why should I?" "Did anyone ever ask Jesus why he never had a wife?" "Could it be true ...

Toward A Practical Theology of Good Works – Introduction

Equipped to do what? Imagine that you have signed up for a course at your local junior college called "Construction 101" and the course description reads, "In Construction 101, you will be given tools to build things." On the first day of the class, you and your classmates eagerly sit, ...

Martin Luther King, Jr., and a Look at Diversity

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is a federal holiday in the United States marking the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. The holiday is observed on the third Monday of January each year. Born in 1929, King's actual birthday is January 15. Like all men, Rev. Marin Luther King, Jr ...

Cedar Run’s “North Carolina Kitchen Adventure”

I love it when churches send me stories about the impact their men's team ministry is having. One such story I recently received is from Bill Hite at Cedar Run Community Church in Oak Hill, Virginia, just outside of Washington, D.C. They have had their men's team ministry since 2011 ...

Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

“For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing: to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things? For we are not ...

A Men’s Ministry Every Man of God Needs to Know (Part 7): Every Man of God Must Kill the Bear Stalking our Homes

Previous posts in this series can be found in my article, A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men. As a pastor for twenty years, I spent a good amount of time counseling married and engaged couples. I could write an entire book giving marriage advice. But if there is one thing I ...

Big Changes are on New Commandment’s Horizon and We Need Your Help

Change is coming to New Commandment Men's Ministries and I am excited to tell you about it. A four-year plan for my retirement This year, New Commandment Men's Ministries celebrated 20 years of ministry and I celebrated my 71st birthday. You may be wondering what my plans are for the ...

The Importance of Offsite Retreats when Ministering to Men

One of the critical goals of any men’s ministry is to encourage its men to undertake times of serious, prolonged reflection Christian men are bombarded daily with thousands of media messages that distract and vie for attention. Forbes Magazine recently noted, “On average, people are exposed to between 6,000 and ...

A Men’s Ministry Every Man of God Needs to Know (Part 6): Every Man of God Needs Encouragement

Previous posts in this series can be found in my article, A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men. As we have seen in my latest series of posts, our mission as Men of God is to do the good works God saved us, called us, and equipped us to do. These Divinely ...

Boys to Men

Boys to Men is more than simply the name of a recently popular singing group. It also accurately describes the pathway God desires all males to travel. Male maturity requires courage Watching recent events unfold in the Middle East reminds us of the courage required to fight evil like men, ...

A Men’s Ministry Every Man of God Needs to Know (Part 5): Every Man of God Needs to Know How to Handle Fame

Previous posts in this series can be found in my article, A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men. My late uncle and mentor was a pastor. When I was a young man he told me, "There are three primary temptations for a pastor: money, sex, and fame." He was right. I ...

How Local Church Men’s Ministries Can Help Stop the Cycle of Poor Fathering in America

Fatherless America No matter what else you undertake today in men’s ministry, you must address the growing problem of fatherlessness. America is in the middle of a fathering crisis. Some are even calling the United States “Fatherless America.”[1] Consider the following facts: In America, 2022 data indicates there are approximately ...

A Men’s Ministry Men of God Need to Know (Part 4): Every Man of God Needs to Monitor His Mental Health

Previous posts in this series can be found in my article, A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men. The day "Cliff" tried to liberate Cuba from Fidel Castro "Cliff," who is now deceased, was a born again Christian who had come to know Christ as his savior as a young adult ...

3 Important On-Ramps for Your Men’s Ministry

Different men require different on-ramps into your men's ministry In every church, several different on-ramps which provide opportunity for involvement in the church's men's ministry need to exist. This is because men enter the life of the church for various reasons. On one end of the spectrum, some men attend ...

A Men’s Ministry Men of God Need to Know (Part 3) – Every Man of God Needs to Learn How to Respond to Severe Tests, Trials, and Consequences

The "Van Kemps" were pillars in my childhood church; godly, faithful, and respectable people. Their two sons, "Steve" and "Phil" were in my youth group. One day, terrible news spread throughout the church: the Van Kemps' oldest son, Steve, had been diagnosed with osteosarcoma, bone cancer. Sadly, it had already ...

A Men’s Ministry Every Man of God Needs to Know (Part 2): Every Man of God Needs Self-Awareness

Assuming that we are going through the process Paul describes in 2 Timothy 3:12-17, the process that God uses to turn us into men of God who are equipped for every good work -- the process that includes being saved, learning God's word, accepting reproof from God's word, experiencing restored ...

A Men’s Ministry Every Man of God Needs to Know (Part 1): Every Man of God has Feet of Clay

Just because we are "Men of God" does not mean we have already arrived We have seen from my last series, "A Men's Ministry Men Want to Know," that men who have a passionate desire to serve widows and single moms have an acquired taste. That is, the average non-Christian ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 15) – What it Means for a Man of God to Be Fully Equipped for All of God’s Good Works

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, “A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men.” "...so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:17 We now come to the climax of 2 Timothy 3:12-17, our foundational ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 14) – To Do God’s Good Works, We Must be Trained in Righteousness

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Now we are getting into the meat of 2 Timothy 3:16. In this series, we have seen that God saves us, surrounds us with other believers who want to ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 13) – To Do God’s Good Works, We Must be Restored in Our Relationships with God and Others

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." We have seen how God, in preparing us to do his good works, uses his word to rebuke us when we sin. Sometimes this rebuke is subtle. Sometimes it ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 12): To Do God’s Good Works, We Must Be Open to Biblical Rebuke

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for...rebuking. 2 Timothy 3:16 As we proceed along our road for "getting there," -- that is, to the place where we are ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 11) – To Do God’s Good Works, We Must Have Sound Doctrine

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." In addition to being saved, having the love of Christ in our hearts, joining with other believers in order to do good works as a team, and knowing our ...

A Men’s Ministry Men want to Know (Part 10) – To Do God’s Good Works, We Must Know Our Bible Well

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." "From infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures." 2 Timothy 3:15 There are many ways that I identify with young pastor Timothy as he was starting out on his ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 9) – In Order to Do God’s Good Works, We Must Build a Team

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." We have seen in the last two posts that God's good works do not just happen. Nor are they just random nice things that we think up and do ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 8) – In Order to Do God’s Good Works, We Must Have the Love of Christ in Our Heart

We saw in my previous post that we cannot do God's good works without being saved; without being saved from spiritual death, from enmity with God, from slavery to sin, from Satan's dominion, and from the world's hold on us. In this post, I want to continue this theme that ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 7) – In Order to Do God’s Good Works, We Must be Saved

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." As we have seen in 2 Timothy 3:12-17, our "passage for getting there," we have to first be saved through faith in Christ Jesus in order to do the ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 6) – Some Questions about the Protocol

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Let's review When I began this series on local church men's ministry, I started with the idea that Jesus wants all local church men's ministries to have the WOW! ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 5) – A Passage for Getting There

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." We have seen how Isaiah 1:17-18 describes what our local church men's ministry protocol should be, the protocol we are to follow in a dying and desperate culture: "plead ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 4): Breaking Out of Groupthink

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." My naïve assumption When I first started New Commandment Men's Ministries almost twenty years ago I thought that because men's team ministry to widows and others with long term ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know – (Part 3) Our Protocol: What Local Church Men’s Ministries are Supposed to Do

Previous posts in this series have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." The importance of knowing and obeying a protocol As I discussed in my last post, when it comes to the topic of police responding to a mass shooting, it ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Part 2) – Groupthink: Why Local Church Men’s Ministries are Ineffective

The previous post in this series has been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." I published the following paragraph on the internet on September 16, 2015, over seven years ago. It is the closing paragraph in a post entitled "The Misery of ...

A Men’s Ministry Men Want to Know (Introduction) – The WOW! Factor in Men’s Ministry

This post is the first of a series of posts that have been incorporated into Part 2 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." The WOW! Factor Something unusual. Something unexpected. Something spectacular. Something important. Something excellent. Something renowned. Something valuable. Something admirable. Something heroic. When something ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 11) – The Founding and Growth of New Commandment Men’s Ministries

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." The last thing I wanted to do was spend the rest of my ministry years bugging pastors God had called me to do "this men's team ministry ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 10) – My Literal Call to Do Men’s Team Ministry

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Stumbling across The National Coalition of Ministries to Men on the internet A few months after my brother-in-law's funeral in June of 2002, I was on the ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 9): A Family Tragedy, A Funeral, and Fifty Men

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Saturday morning, June 15, 2002 I was so excited about being asked to speak to a church's men's group about men's team ministry that I found it ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 8) – My Second Men’s Team Ministry and the Boulder Men’s Fellowship

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Arriving in Broomfield, Colorado in 1999: a new opportunity to start another men's team ministry As we have seen in my previous posts, 1999 wasn't exactly a ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 7) – Promise Keepers, Racial Reconciliation, and the Phoenix Pastors’ Conference Debacle

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." From its beginning, Promise Keepers put a huge emphasis on racial reconciliation. And heaven knows that Americans, and White Christian Americans in particular, need to be reminded ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 6)

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." The Marshal fire -- that fire in December of 2021 that destroyed over 1,000 homes in Boulder, Lafayette, and Superior, Colorado -- left block after block with ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 5)

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." "Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2 Discovering men's team ministry to widows, single moms, ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 4)

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." What's the big deal? Okay, we've seen how modern men's ministry is making the mistake of not distinguishing between what Christian men are supposed to be as ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 3)

This and previous posts in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Hidden away and ignored - the sacrifice Christian men ought to do The headquarters for the Navigators is located a few miles northwest of Colorado Springs, Colorado ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 2)

This and the previous post in this series have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." Over the past fifty years of my adult life I have been exposed to dozens and dozens of parachurch men's ministries. The first two that I ...

The Men’s Ministry I Know (Part 1) – The Men’s Hall of Shame

This post is the first in a series series of posts that have been incorporated into the Introduction of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." I have personally experienced both church-wide and dedicated men's ministries My life has been massively impacted by two different types men's ministries ...

13 Characteristics of Churches that Reach and Utilize All of their Men – Part 3

This post is part of a series of posts that have been incorporated into Part 1 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." What do churches that reach and utilize all of their men look like? This post is the last in a series of three posts ...

13 Characteristics of Churches that Reach and Utilize All of their Men – Part 2

This post is part of a series of posts that have been incorporated into Part 1 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." What is it about churches that do an especially good job of ministering to their men? This post is part 2 of a 3 ...

13 Characteristics of Churches that Reach and Utilize All of their Men – Part 1

This post is part of a series of posts that have been incorporated into Part 1 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." In my last post I discussed what it means to reach and utilize all of the men in your church. But now the question: ...

What it Means to Reach and Utilize All of the Men in Your Church

This post is part of a series of posts that have been incorporated into Part 1 of my online article, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Men." My pastoral role for twenty years naturally led to tunnel vision: my focus was constantly on my individual congregation. But transitioning to a national ...
Everyone needs a mentor

One Christian’s Review of “Men of Influence: The Transformational Impact of Godly Mentors,” by Bill Hendricks and Howard Hendricks

I am an example of what godly mentors can do I grew up in what I would call a strong men-mentoring-men church. And yet I do not recall any particular emphasis on the concept of mentoring. Nevertheless, there were many wonderful Christian men of all ages everywhere I looked, many ...

Scientists Identify Specific Brain Circuit for Spirituality in Both Men and Women

The discovery of a dedicated brain circuit for spirituality in every human being has broad implications for all of society A recent neurological discovery relating to our ability to think about spiritual things that has been widely reported in the media“A Neural Circuit for Spirituality and Religiosity Derived From Patients ...

One Christian’s Review of “Why Men Hate Going to Church” by David Murrow

Why Men Hate Going to Church is an immersion in male culture One way to view David Murrow’s Why Men Hate Going to Church is to think of it as male culture immersion for anyone who wants to effectively work with men. For example, if you want to start a church for ...

On Treating Church Members as Actual Family Members

I am writing you these instructions so that… you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household. 1 Timothy 3:14, 15 A crisis of loneliness plagues America. Consider the following recent headlines: “3 out of 5 Americans are Lonely” (National Public Radio), “COVID-19 is Making America’s Loneliness Epidemic ...

One Christian’s Review of “The Man in the Mirror,” by Patrick Morley

Patrick Morley, author of The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 problems men face, is the founder and Executive Chairman of Man in the Mirror. After building his commercial real estate business into one of Florida’s 100 largest privately owned companies, Morley started a Bible study in a bar with a ...
Men's ministry is effective when it pleases God.

Why Jesus? The Question Every Men’s Ministry Must Answer

Several years ago I was sharing my faith with a social worker in my community when he responded by saying, "I don't want to be a Christian because I don't want to spend the rest of my life, not to mention eternity, in meetings." He had a point. In his ...

One Christian’s Review of “Kingdom Man: Every Man’s Destiny, Every Woman’s Dream,” by Tony Evans

At a time when Christians glibly toss around the term "kingdom," Dr. Tony Evans, in Kingdom Man: Every Man's Destiny, Every Woman's Dream, gives the kingdom of God flesh and blood and then shows every Christian man the dramatic implications it has for his everyday life. Kingdom Man Vividly Portrays ...

Sharing Our Testimonies: The Power of Story in Your Ministry

Sharing Our Testimonies: The Power of Story in Your Ministry ...

Why One Third of Working-Aged American Men Don’t Work

Men's ministry leaders often validate the need for men's ministry by listing various maladaptive male social indicators that plague American society, such as men making up the vast majority of prisoners, gang members, rapists, mass murderers, drug addicts, homeless people, child abusers, and partner abusers. Usually we point out that ...

An Actual Church that Financially Supports Widows

Pastor Rayner Wharton I've found one! After years of searching, I've discovered a church here in America that actually has a list of widows that it supports financially..In a lenghty passage in 1 Timothy 5, the ApostlePPaul discusses the widow's support list and what the rules are for a widow ...

Some Additional Thoughts on Men’s Ministry and Alcohol

Ambivalent. That is the feeling I think we all have when it comes to men's ministry and alcohol. We see some benefits, but we also see significant problems. My post on this subject a couple of weeks ago generated some great comments that reflect this ambivalence. Here they are for ...

Denver Rescue Mission Deploying Teams to Mentor Afghan Refugees

Photo: Denver Rescue Mission Now that the war in Afghanistan is over, I thought that I'd write a post about what the church can do for the over 100,000 Afghan refugees who have escaped the country. The end of the Afghan war coincides with a discovery I made a couple ...
Picture of two men drinking beer.

I’ve Changed My Stance on Men’s Ministry and Alcohol

Photo courtesy Jean S. "The times, they are a changing," as the Bob Dylan song goes. A while back I attended a local alumni meeting for my seminary where I learned that my school now sanctions drinking alcohol. And then there is the megachurch I know of that holds some ...
Hesed is love that motivates someone to freely obligate themselves with a binding covenant to someone who has, or may come to have, a significant need for the purpose of meeting that need.

Hesed: The Misunderstood Love

Your lovingkindness is better than life. Psalm 63:3 I had the privilege of growing up in one of America's first mega churches, the Church of the Open Door in downtown Los Angeles. At the time, Dr. J. Vernon McGee, one of the great Bible expositors of the twentieth century, was ...
Christian men caring for widows is a practice that is distinctive to them as Christians. In fact, it is so distinctive, the world cannot ignore it.

What About The Church’s Ignored Widows?

The Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. Acts 6:1 It was a point of tremendous pride, something that had never been done before in the history of the world. Egypt hadn't accomplished it. Assyria didn't do ...
Book cover for Failsafe

One Christian’s Review of “Failsafe: Living Secure in God’s Acceptance,” By Kenny Luck

The best way I can describe what it is like reading Kenny Luck's book, Failsafe: Living Secure in God's Acceptance, is to tell you this story. Imagine you are a doughboy in World War One. You are standing in a trench that you have occupied for months peeking out over ...
Picture of Gene Getz

The Measure of a Mentor: An Interview with Gene Getz

Gene Getz Dr. Gene Getz, author of “Measure of a Man” and many other books, was both my professor and pastor while I attended Dallas Seminary. Herb: Dr. Getz, thank you so much for getting together with me. Bring us up to date on what you’re doing now. Dr. Getz: ...
Picture of Steve Etner

Renewing a Porn-Stained Mind: An Interview with Steve Etner

Steve Etner Steve Etner, founder of The Purity Coach, is one of the most courageous and transparent speakers I’ve ever heard. When I heard his testimony of how the Lord delivered him from addiction to pornography, I new I needed to get it down for my readers. Anyone struggling with pornography ...
A Christian view of marriage says, “I want to deny myself to give to you.” The world’s view of marriage is utilitarian. It’s based on happiness. God’s view of marriage is that it’s a part of reflecting His image.

A Most Noble View of Marriage: An Interview with Dennis Rainey

Dennis Rainey Dennis Rainey is the author of "Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood," and President, CEO and Co-founder of FamilyLife, a subsidiary of Cru. Since the organization began in 1976, Dennis leadership has enabled FamilyLife to grow into a dynamic and vital ministry that offers families blueprints for ...
. The original church growth strategy has not changed. You go out and find twelve guys and you build on them. So I’m definitely encouraged by some of the trends we’re seeing in the church.

Why Men Hate Going to Church a Lot Less Now: An Interview with David Murrow

David Murrow Herb: David, it’s great being with you. You’re a wonderful friend. I’ve known you for years. What a blessing you are to me and what an honor it is to be able to do this interview. David: Thank you, Herb. It’s great to be with you. Herb: You’re ...
I saw that this insecurity and lack of life focus among men crossed all boundaries-social, economic, racial, nationalities-it’s the elephant in the world’s living room that nobody dares to face. That’s what led me to write Healing the Masculine Soul,

A Harvard Grad Gets a Spiritual Education: An Interview with Gordon Dalbey

Gordon Dalbey Herb: Gordon, tell us about your ministry and how you work with men. Gordon: Back in the 1980’s I began to realize that my friends and I all had a hard time getting focused with our lives. I had been a high school teacher, pastor, counselor, lots of ...
The primary purpose of what we do is help churches develop strategies rather than a program for intergenerational ministry.

A Man of Honor: An Interview with Dr. Chuck Stecker

Dr. Chuck Stecker Herb: Chuck, tell us about your ministry helping churches bridge intergenerational gaps. Chuck: Herb, great to be here with you. The primary purpose of what we do is help churches develop strategies rather than a program for intergenerational ministry. I’m convinced that far too many times we ...
Kenny Luck is President of Every Man Ministries, one of America’s leading men’s ministries. At the time of this interview, Kenny was also Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church.

A Quest to Transform Men and Men’s Ministry: An Interview with Kenny Luck

Kenny Luck Kenny Luck is President of Every Man Ministries, one of America’s leading men’s ministries. At the time of this interview, Kenny was also Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church. Currently, Kenny is Leadership Pastor at Crossline Church in Laguna Hills, California. Herb: Kenny, thanks so much for meeting with ...
Coach Bill McCartney discusses his grief over the loss of his wife, the legacy of Promise Keepers, and the current state of racial reconciliation in the church.

Playing Hurt: An Interview with Coach Bill McCartney

Coach Bill McCartney Bill McCartney founded Promise Keepers in 1990 while still head coach of the CU Buffs. During the 1990’s, Promise Keepers mushroomed to become the largest men’s ministry organization in America, holding packed stadium events all over the country. On August 1, 2016, Coach McCartney’s family issued a ...
It was in that most broken place that I began to wonder what that abundant life is that Jesus came for. I was not living abundantly in any sense of that word. I trusted God. But I could not imagine how He was going to get us out of the mess we were in.

Protected: A Single Mother’s Gift from God: An Interview with Emely Colson

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I looked at Scripture. And a hundred and three verses say God loves us widows and other believers should be kind of looking out for us and we should stay connected with the church and connected with God.

A Widow’s Heart: An Interview with Miriam Neff, Founder of Widow Connection

Miriam Neff is the founder of Widow Connection and author of “From One Widow to Another: Conversations on the New You.” Herb: Miriam, how did you become burdened to start this ministry for widows? Miriam: Well, who would want to start a widow’s ministry? It just doesn’t sound positive. Who would sign ...
The Unseen Companion book cover

One Christian’s Review of “The Unseen Companion,” by Michelle Lynn Senters

Give "The Unseen Companion: God with the Single Mother" by Michelle Lynn Senters, to every single mom you know and encourage them to read it two or three times. For in it they will learn a critical lesson: that the most important things in life are unseen, and the most ...
Maximized Manhood

One Christian’s Review of “Maximized Manhood” by Edwin Louis Cole

Sometimes I think the men's ministry movement in America over the past forty years has been more about making disciples of James Dobson than making disciples of Jesus Christ. That is, current men's ministry has an almost exclusive "focus on the family," an emphasis one simply does not find in ...

One Christian’s Review of “The Measure of a Man” by Gene Getz

Dr. Gene Getz' recently updated edition of The Measure of a Man: Twenty Attributes of a Godly Man (Baker Publishing Group, 1974, 2004, 2016) is some of the best men's ministry discipleship material ever written. First published almost fifty years ago, and now with over a million copies sold, this ...

One Christian’s Review of “Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem” by David Blankenhorn

Even though the increase in fatherlessness in America has leveled off somewhat since David Blankenhorn's book, Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem, was published in 1995, fatherlessness still remains at historically high levels and Fatherless America still ranks as the classic critique of our fatherless epidemic. David Blankenhorn: ...

One Christian’s Review of “The Church and the Single Mom” by Jennifer Barnes Maggio

America is experiencing an explosion in single mom households. In response, God has raised up someone he has clearly prepared to minister to them. Jennifer Maggio: America's Leading Expert on Ministry to Single Moms As the founder of The Life of a Single Mom, Jennifer Maggio, a one-time single mom ...
The Ministry of a Baptist Deacon

Protected: One Christian’s Review of “The Ministry of a Baptist Deacon” by Paul Chappell

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Caring for Widows

One Christian’s Review of “Caring for Widows,” by Brian Croft and Austin Walker

Brian Croft and Austin Walker's "Caring for Widows" is a step in the right direction for the church. It is a much needed reminder to every Christian that ministry to widows in the church is a massive biblical mandate that cannot and must not be ignored. Sadly, though, the first ...

Safety Considerations for Men Mentoring Boys

Photo courtesy Mark Harrington Recently I wrote a post that provided only passing mention of safety considerations for men mentoring boys. I encouraged men to volunteer to provide transportation for fatherless boys who wanted to attend their church's youth group. I briefly stated that they would need to submit to ...
The Boy Crisis

One Christian’s Review of “The Boy Crisis” by Warren Farrell and John Gray

According to Warren Farrell and John Gray in The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, it turns out that fathers are critical for the wellbeing of their sons and daughters, especially the wellbeing of their sons. Imagine that. Finally, someone is pointing ...
Helensburg Men's Shed is an example of a great men's ministry idea.

Men’s Ministry and the Australia Men’s Shed Movement

How about this for a great men's ministry idea? Provide a garage-like shed just for men, especially for retired or unemployed men struggling with loneliness and depression. Then stock it with tools and a pot of hot coffee so men can hang out, do hands on projects at their own ...
One of the best ways to reach unchurched fatherless boys is to focus on ministries that draw the fatherless into churches.

Reach Unchurched Fatherless Boys

Photo courtesy rubbertoe [Note: This post is taken from an article by Herb Reese entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Fatherless Boys."] I have been focusing on ministering to fatherless boys in our churches. But how do we reach unchurched fatherless boys? Here are some ideas. Focus on Ministries that ...
Fatherless boys

Focus on Fatherless Boys in Your Christian Education and Pulpit Ministries

This post is part of a series on fatherless boys. Photo courtesy Moranni Conservative estimates put the number of fatherless boys in America at twenty percent. Therefore, it is critical that the church reach out to this much neglected demographic. In my previous post I discussed the importance of focusing ...
Twenty percent of teenage boys are fatherless.

Embed a Fatherless Boys Focus in Your Men’s Ministry

This post is a continuation of my series on ministry to fatherless boys. Photo courtesy Peter McConnochie Before you can truly embed ministry to fatherless boys in your men's ministry, I suggest your church develop a "value statement" for fatherless children for your entire church. f Turning first to what ...

Responding to the Needs of Widows in Your Church

This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Widows Ministry." The first step in meeting the pressing needs of widows in the church is finding out what those pressing needs are. The person who knows the congregation best -- usually the pastor or, in larger congregations, the ...

Refocus Your Deacon Ministry on Ministry to Widows

This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Widows Ministry". The New Testament makes it clear that the church regarded successfully ministering to its widows as of the highest importance (James 1:27). There are several ways we see this emphasis. Ministry to widows appears very early in ...

The Differences between Widows Ministry and other Ministries

This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Widows Ministry". Widows ministry is not just one ministry among the many possible ministries churches can do. Rather, it is an extremely important ministry that has many distinctive characteristics. Widows ministry is a mandated ministry. Mandated ministries are ministries ...
One way to minister to fatherless boys is to provide transportation for them to youth group.

Providing Guidance for Fatherless Boys in Your Church

[Note: This post is taken from an article by Herb Reese entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Fatherless Boys."] [Also Note: Since writing this post I have concluded that two adult men should be involved at all times in mentoring relationships with boys, and this includes providing transportation to youth ...
The gospel is pure gold for any fatherless boy because it tells him how God the Father can become his father.

Restoring Hope: The Christian World View and Fatherless Boys

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name." Our Lord's Prayer Photo courtesy Liam Hickok [Note: This post is taken from an article by Herb Reese entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Fatherless Boys."] To paraphrase a popular saying, America is perfectly designed to get the fatherless epidemic ...
Fatherless boys often find it difficult to express their emotions about feelings of rejection.

Repressed, Alone, Betrayed, Rudderless and Hopeless: How it Feels to be a Fatherless Boy

"Rejection is the defining characteristic of the fatherless generation." William Pollack [Note: This post is taken from an article by Herb Reese entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Fatherless Boys."] In this series of posts on fatherless boys, I now turn to the psychological aspects of fatherlessness. Repressed: Fatherless Boys ...
There is a correlation between the number of fatherless boys and church attendance in America.

Fatherless Boys in Perspective

[Note: This post is taken from an article by Herb Reese entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Fatherless Boys."] What Fatherless Children have in Common with Widows and Single Moms photo courtesy vanus_hud Before I turn my attention to fatherless boys specifically, I want to point out some similarities fatherless ...

A Fatherless Boy’s Father Wound

Photo courtesy The Kozy Shack [Note: This post is taken from an article by Herb Reese entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Fatherless Boys."] "Brian Leifson" was the first bully I ever knew. I was eight and he was eleven and he lived on my street. I did my best ...
John Reese

How John Reese Was Born Again

John Reese I am the youngest of five children. My late oldest brother was severely mentally handicapped. My three other siblings are 15, 12 and 6 years older than I. Our mother and father, Ben and Marguerite Reese, were godly Christians who took us to church every week and held ...
Starting a ministry to single moms takes prayer and preparation.

How to Start a Single Moms Ministry

Photo courtesy Riza Nugraha This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms". Maybe you are a single mom, or a pastor, or an elder in your church and you'd like to see something done for the single moms in your church and community ...
A single mother and her teenaged son.

Parachurch and Church-Based Single Moms Ministries

This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms". In my continuing series on ministering to single moms, I want to recommend existing parachurch and church-based single moms ministries that we can study and utilize. Sadly, though single mom households make up a large ...
The church can meet many of the needs that single moms have.

Single Moms and the Church

Photo courtesy Nenad Stojkovec This post is part of a series entitled, " Since 2003 New Commandment Men's Ministries has helped hundreds of churches throughout North American and around the world recruit teams of men who permanently adopt their widowed and single parents in their congregations for the purpose of ...
Churches need to first love single moms and then give them the truth.

First Love then Truth: How Jesus Ministered to Sinners

Photo courtesy Wayne Grazio "Why should we invite unrepentant and unmarried single moms and their illegitimate children into our church?" That's the elephant in the room when it comes to the question of the church ministering to single mom households. Of course, the answer is, "Because they need Jesus and ...
Spiritually speaking, nuclear families have nothing on single mom families.

Spiritually Speaking, Nuclear Families have Nothing on Single Mom Families

I know, I know. There are all kinds of statistics showing that nuclear families give their children many advantages over the children of single moms. It is because of this reality that the church places great emphasis on nuclear families to the exclusion of others. However, from a spiritual viewpoint, ...
Jesus' primary focus was not on families.

How the Failure of Families in the OT Foreshadowed Jesus’ Ministry

Photo courtesy Kamaljith J V This post is part of a series entitled "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms". As I showed from my last post, one very important message from the Old Testament is that the kingdom of God cannot be built on the basis of human families ...
Family lines in the Old Testament prove that families are incapable of transmitting spiritual life.

Messy Families and Family Lines in the Old Testament

This post is part of a series entitled "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms". “Building the Church by Building Strong Families.” That is the MO of almost all churches in America today. But the problem with trying to build the kingdom of God on earth by building spiritually healthy ...
New Commandment Men's Ministries trains teams of men to serve single moms and their children.

How the Mirage of Perfect Nuclear Families in Contemporary Churches Alienates Single Moms

This post is part of a series entitled "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms". Walk into any church in America and you will immediately notice one thing: it is all about nuclear families (i.e., a husband and a wife who are married and raise their own children to adulthood), ...
Picture of a single mother with her child.

What the Prevalence of Single Moms in America Says about Men’s Ministry and the Church

Photo courtesy Donnie Ray Jones This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms". There have always been single moms in every culture in the history of humanity. By far the majority of those single moms have been young widows and their children. But ...
Single motherhood in America has been impacted by its post Christian culture.

Single Motherhood in America: How We Got Here

Photo courtesy Wayne S. Grazio This post is part of a series entitled, "A Comprehensive Church-Based Ministry to Single Moms." The rise of single mom households didn't happen by accident People act the way they think. So when tens of millions of people radically change the way they marry, have ...
Single mother hood in America is exploding.

Protected: The Current State of Single Motherhood in America

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God will ultimately answer all our doubts.

Dealing with Doubt

Photo courtesy Riccardo Cuppini There are two kinds of Christians in this world: those who acknowledge that at times they have doubted their faith...and liars. Of course, Christianity -- and religion in general -- do not have a monopoly on doubt. Some philosophers have doubted the existence of the external ...

My Upcoming Article on Single Moms

Men's team ministry fascinates me for many reasons. One if them is the way it involves several different kinds of ministry. It involves men's ministry, of course. But it also involves ministries to widows, widowers, single moms and dads, fatherless and motherless children, the disabled, and anyone else with long ...
13 reasons why men's ministries die

13 Reasons Why Men’s Ministries Die

A healthy men's ministry is like a lush, green lawn. When a lawn has the necessary elements for it to thrive - rich soil, water, sunlight, and nutrients - it thrives. Great lawns don't just happen. They need constant attention and cultivation, otherwise, they wither and die. Men's ministry is ...
Man in a mirror illustrates James 1:23-24.

Don’t be this Man in the Mirror

Photo courtesy Herman Pinera Be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what ...

Will there be a First Baptist Church of Mars?

I have been thinking about Mars lately. A few days ago the planet came the closest to earth that it will be in fifteen years. It's the brightest object in the eastern sky just after sunset. If Elon Musk has his way, earthlings are going to inhabit Mars sometime soon ...
When I realized as a pastor that my congregational care was lacking, God led me to better address our long term pressing needs.

Congregational Care and Long Term Pressing Needs

I have a story to tell about how, when I realized as a pastor that my congregational care was lacking, God led me to better address our long term pressing needs. It had been a few months since "Gary's" funeral when I made a follow up visit to "Ann," his ...
Men's ministry is effective when it pleases God.

You Know Your Men’s Ministry is Effective When…

I have posted before on the topic of effective men's ministry, as well as on the related topic of the importance of having goals for your men's ministry. But with this post I want to ask this question: When does God consider a men's ministry effective? The answer to the ...
Some churches form teams of men for their widows.

What Churches Do for Widows and Widowers

"Not much." If you are a widow or widower and have had any experience with churches, that is probably what you thought when you saw the title for this post. And you are right. For the most part, churches focus on families and, contrary to what the Bible teaches, ignore ...
One high impact men's ministry idea is to take men to a disaster area.

Men’s Ministry Ideas for Service Projects

Photo courtesy Carl Manning When evaluating new men's ministry ideas for service projects, time is a valuable commodity for most Christian men. So when you invite the men in your men's ministry to participate in a service project, they are probably going to wonder if it's worth their time. As ...
Picture of a pretzel

O the Joys of SEO

Photo courtesy David Lofink The problem with SEO is the letter "E". It stands for Engine, as in "Search Engine Optimization." Who came up with this term, anyway? I'm thinking it's the same person who came up with "eschew obfuscation." When I think of engines, I think of a greasy ...
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The Art of Followership

Photo courtesy kcxd "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." -- Jesus "Follow my example, as I follow Christ." -- Paul A Christian friend of mine told me the other day that he was taking a course on leadership. That got me wondering if there are any ...
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My Amazing High School Youth Group

Jim and Peggi Klubnik In many ways, the senior high youth group in the 60's at Church of the Open Door in downtown Los Angeles was like any other. We had a dedicated Sunday School class, a Sunday evening Christian Endeavor, monthly Friday night socials, summer camps, even a high ...

I’ve Graduated to Granddad

Marietta and Remy Baer Stechmeyer I'm having trouble writing this post about being a new grandfather. I guess the reason why is because I don't quite feel like one yet. Remy Baer Stechmeyer was born to Jake and our daughter Marietta August 28 in the Year of our Lord, 2020 ...
Picture of cowboy praying at the cross

Real Men Attend Cowboy Churches

Who knew cowboy churches are a thing? I was doing marketing research yesterday on Google Maps, focusing on eastern rural Arizona, and to my surprise I came across a couple of cowboy churches. There is a cowboy church about ten minutes from my home in the foothills of the Rockies ...
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Is Retirement Biblical?

Photo courtesy hapal In our last New Commandment board meeting I was discussing whether or not I will retire when one of my board members mentioned that he doesn't believe that Christians should retire. Wow! That was a new thought. But after I mulled it over later I realized that ...
Picture of wise man

On Intelligent, Well-Educated, and Wise Christians

"His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort." 2 Peter 3:16 (Peter, writing about Paul's epistles) Photo courtesy Neil Moralee I've been reading and meditating on Romans 7 and 8 lately and the thought struck me how intricate and closely reasoned Paul's ...

My Credo

As an Evangelical Christian, I am not engaged in the process of making America Christian, but in the process of making Americans Christian. The first is political coercion. The second is the Great Commission. The first is cultural warfare with flesh and blood. The second is spiritual warfare with Satan ...

Christ’s Love as a Guarantee of Well-Being

We live in a love-saturated culture. People everywhere talk about, write about (as I am now), sing about, make movies about, paint about...love. All. The. Time. But what we don't live in is a Christian-love-saturated culture. Jesus tells us that there is a qualitative difference between Christian love and all ...
Picture of Matt Warner mowing our lawn.

I’m Finally Getting Out of My Bedroom Cell

Watching Matt Warner mow our lawn through my bedroom window. Today is the last day of my bedroom imprisonment. My consignment to household oblivion began a week ago Thursday with diarrhea. I didn't think much of it until the next morning when I awoke with a sore throat and sinus ...
Picture of Russians spies Richard and Cynthia Murphy

My Secret Rendezvous as a Sojourner Christian

Richard and Cynthia Murphy By all accounts, Richard and Cynthia Murphy were living the American dream in suburban Montclair, New Jersey. They and their two daughters had been residing for twenty years in a two-story colonial home that backed up to a wildlife preserve. According to their neighbors, Richard and ...
Picture of a galaxy

Why Christians Need Humanists (And Why Humanists Need Christians)

Photo courtesy Carsten Frenzi Ever since Erasmus decided that divorce could be a good thing, Christians and humanists have been dancing a five hundred year long intellectual, spiritual, and cultural tango. Often it looks more like a tangle than a tango, but for better or for worse, we are stuck ...
Picture of a team of men working

In Men’s Ministry, Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Photo courtesy Mads Danquah As I've mentioned in a recent post, Patti and I love watching the home remodeling channel, HGTV. One of our favorite shows is Good Bones, where Mina Starsiak and her mom, Karen Lane, remodel dilapidated homes in the southeastern suburbs of Indianapolis. At the beginning of ...
Picture of a widow

The First Deacons: A Job Description

The founding of the office of Deacon in the early church "In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples ...
Picture of Powerball winners

11 Million Dollars Worth of Hesed Love

"Thy lovingkindness is better than life." Psalm 66:3 They didn't know it, but when Tom Cook and Joseph Feeny promised with a handshake nearly three decades ago that if one of them ever won the Powerball lottery they would split the winnings, they were engaging in a thousands year old ...
Picture of a pastor preaching

Pastors, When was the Last Time You Preached a Sermon on Widows?

Photo courtesy CNXN One year? Two years? Ten years? Never? Pastors, how long has it been since you preached that dreaded sermon on widows? The topic of widows is ubiquitous in Scripture. There's enough biblical material on widows for a month of Sundays, so to speak. I count over forty ...
Picture of Bearaug Reese's farm in Opdal, Norway

The Farm

Baeraug Reese's farm in Opdal, Norway c. 1879 "Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29 A couple of weeks ago, as ...
Picture of man napping at work

The Christian Rest Ethic: Constant Exhaustion and Stress are not God’s Will for Us

Photo courtesy Adam Lynch I love daily naps and long walks. No, I am not a sloth. I get up around 5 am, often earlier. But while I work hard, naps and walks have been a part of my regular schedule for thirty years. Besides the obvious health benefits, the ...
Picture of Joe and Joanna Gaines

Heaven’s Version of Fixer Upper

Chip and Joanna Gaines "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:3 One of Satan's strategies with us Christians is to get us to stop thinking about and ...
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About the Political Debate Raging On My Private Facebook Page

The New Testament is full of debates. Some of them are very passionate. In the New Testament you will find debates such as whether circumcision is a requirement for salvation (Acts 15), whether Jesus rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15), how to care for both Jewish and Hellenistic widowed ...
Picture of neighborhood block party

Learning to Love Our Neighbors

Photo courtesy Kazu Aoyama I don't know about everyone else, but learning to love my neighbors has been a lifelong work in progress for me. It's been the old two steps forward and one step back. Sometimes it's even been one step forward and two steps back. If I were ...
Picture of Bible and pen

Don’t You Read Your Bible?

Photo courtesy George Bannister The late Dr. John G. Mitchell, a well known and much loved pastor and Bible teacher in the Pacific Northwest, would tease his students when they couldn't answer a biblical question during his lectures. He'd lean over his lectern, smile, and ask, "Don't you read your ...
Picture of a Polling Booth sign

Evangelicals, the 2020 Presidential Election, and Matters of Conscience

Photo courtesy Amanda Wood "One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind." Romans 14:5 The early church had a problem: Jewish Christians had been taught for centuries that worship had to occur on ...
Picture of book cover: Stand Up Guys

Young Christian Boys Need More Books Like This One

Talk about role models for boys! How about 50 of them? In Stand-Up Guys: 50 Christian Men Who Changed the World, Kate Etue and Caroline Siegrist give fifty examples of Christian men who, motivated by their faith, made dramatic and often world-wide impacts for good. The book highlights contemporary Christian ...
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Outdoor Projects Your Care Receiver may have Overlooked

Photo courtesy Enrico Strocchi My team met together to serve our care receiver for the first time during the COVID-19 pandemic last Saturday. We maintained our six feet of distance as we ate breakfast burritos out on her back deck. Then we did various outdoor projects for the rest of ...
Picture of 4 circles of lightbulbs

How Are Your Relational Circles?

Photo courtesy mementosis The Bible says every man has distinct groups of people around him. It describes who these people are and what our relationships with them should look like when we walk in obedience to Jesus Christ. In this post I will first describe these groups and then I'll ...

Review of 5 Essentials to Engage Today’s Men: Conversations Every Church Should Have about How Men Connect with Their Purpose, with Others, and with Their Faith

Finally, some scientific data on men, church, and men's ministry! For years men's ministry leaders in organizations such as Man in the Mirror, Promise Keepers, and Iron Sharpens Iron have tossed around the idea of developing accurate and up to date scientific polling data on men's ministry. Now BetterMan, founded ...
Picture of a bench on a flagstone patio

The Sandbox

I have been playing with sand the last few days. I laid a couple of small flagstone patios in our backyard that required sand foundations. The Loews how-to video I watched said I should make the foundations five inches deep, but I think they just wanted to sell me a ...
Picture of a team serving their care receiver

Some Suggestions for Restarting Your Men’s Team Ministry

My church recently came up with a gradual phased in plan for reopening during our COVID-19 pandemic. The first phase consists of meeting in smaller groups outdoors, which is a perfect way for Faithful Hands - our church's men's team ministry - to get up and running again. That started ...
Picture of cross with sunset

The Love of Christ is Not for Sissies

Photo courtesy Claudio Ungari Since the love of Christ in us is the goal of our salvation (1 Timothy 1:5; Ephesians 3:14-19; John 13:34, 35, etc.), it behooves every believer to meditate deeply on this subject. I've written in the past about the three meanings of the term "the love ...
Picture of man smashing a grapefruit with a sledge hammer

Strike a Blow for Men’s Team Ministry to the Widowed and Single Parents

Photo courtesy Chris Dixon Have you noticed? I rarely ask my readers to donate to New Commandment Men's Ministries. But I am now. New Commandment is facing a serious financial shortage and needs your help. If you have been blessed by this ministry and have a burden for men and ...
Picture of woman in distress

There is More to Christian Responsibility than God, Family and Work

I recently read an article on the importance of setting priorities as Christians. It listed three responsibilities as the main priorities every Christian should have: our responsibilities to God, family, and work, in that order. It was the same classic list I've seen many times before and every time I ...
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The Power of Men’s Team Ministry Testimonies in this Dark Hour

I enjoyed so much our blog subscriber Zoom meeting this past Saturday evening. Three men from three churches in different parts of the country joined the meeting to learn from other team members what men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents is like. The meeting lasted almost an ...
Picture of boundary marker

Maintaining Boundaries in Your Men’s Team Ministry

Photo courtesy Joshua Hilgart-Roy He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." Matthew 15:24 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: "Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of ...

A Moral Canary-in-a-Coal-Mine: Treatment of Widows

Photo courtesy Chris White Canary-in-a-coal-mine. Something whose sensitivity to adverse conditions makes it a useful early indicator of such conditions; something which warns of the coming of greater danger or trouble by a deterioration in its health or welfare. Miners in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries had a clever solution ...
Picture of two neighbors

My Lousy Christian Neighbor

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Leviticus 9:18 "I'm packing heat. So give me a call if anything happens." Photo courtesy Mac MacCreery My new Christian vigilante neighbor said good bye, turned and walked back to his house. It was several years ago and our family had just moved ...
Logo for Meeting to Meet Needs

Postage and Printer Ink: How My Online Ministry Started and Evolved Over the Years

It all started with the cost of postage and printer ink. My online ministry, that is. About fifteen years ago I realized that I was spending way too much money on postage and printer ink to produce my monthly snail mail ministry newsletter. God was blessing my ministry, but that ...
Picture of sun lit forest

The Brotherhood: How Jesus Started a New Human Race

Photo courtesy #malavoda "Go, tell my brothers to go to Galilee. There they will see me." Matthew 28:9-10 "For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." Romans 8:29 "We know that when ...
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Meet Our 18 Year Old Team and Our Care Receiver

Our team meeting with Annette on Zoom last SaturdayHugh, Herb, Matt with daughter, ViennaAnnette, Eric (Don, another team member, is not present) "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and ...
13 reasons why men's ministries die

How to Disciple Men Doctrinally

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew ...
Picture of temporary fence.

The Difference Between Fearing COVID-19 and Being Afraid of COVID-19

Stupid is as stupid does. Take a close look at the picture that accompanies this post. It's an image of the temporary green fence in my backyard. I erected it because I have a multi-day project going on replacing my wooden fence and I needed something to contain our dog ...
Picture of Second Baptist Church Woodway Sanctuary

Reopening Churches During the COVID-19 Pandemic

My mother-in-law recently moved in with us from Katy, Texas. She is a member of Second Baptist Church in Houston, a church with tens of thousands of members. Every Sunday she avidly watches the church worship service online and yesterday she mentioned to me and my wife that the church ...

How Vladimir Putin is Prostituting the Russian Orthodox Church

Photo courtesy Russian Defense Ministry It may come as a surprise to some, but after decades of repression under communist rule, the Russian Orthodox Church has been enjoying a resurgence among its countrymen of late. In fact, the proposition can be made that the church has supplanted communist ideology with ...
Picture of Bible

The Main Problem I Have with My Ministry

Fortunately, I don't have many problems with New Commandment Men's Ministries. Over the last eighteen years, men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents has been well received and implemented in hundreds of churches around the world. I have faithful donors who, even in the middle of one of ...
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Enduring Good

Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and good news is preached to the poor." Matthew 11:4-5 Photo courtesy VentanaFotos We all know about Jesus' miracles, ...

Take the May Men’s Team Ministry Zoom Challenge

This coming Sunday is New Commandment Men's Ministries' quarterly board meeting and since all of us board members are practicing social distancing in light of COVID-19, we'll be meeting online with Zoom. Patti and I have been using Zoom to have group family time with our grown children for a ...
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Getting There: 5 Goals of a Men’s Team Ministry to the Widowed and Single Parents

Photo courtesy Jeffrey Beall If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll realize that nothing I'm about to say here is new. Nevertheless, it's important to stop and summarize what New Commandment Men's Ministries seeks to achieve with men's team ministry. In short, we have five simple goals: ...
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Deeds Appropriate to Repentance

Photo courtesy Bill Smith "Dennis Harland" was an owner of a successful business in Reno, Nevada. Since he had arrived early for my workshop, I struck up a conversation with him. Soon Dennis was eagerly telling me the story of the day he came back to the Lord after years ...
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Easter and the Rest of the Story

Photo courtesy Fr Lawrence Lew Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" John 20:17 ...I looked, and ...
Picture of a thankful person

7 Consequential Reasons Why I’m Thankful for You, My Readers

Photo courtesy Arul Irudayam Do you know how much I love writing for you? I look forward to creating a new post for you every time I sit down at this keyboard. I hope you are as blessed by reading it as I am by writing it. This morning I ...
Picture of laptop.

3 Years into Online Ministry: What I’ve Learned

Photo courtesy Lonnon Foster The recent COVID-19 lockdown across the country has given me time to reflect on how glad I am that the Lord led me to transition New Commandment Men's Ministries to an online ministry. Had I not done so, the ministry of training men in men's conference ...
Picture of man praying

On Praying the Attributes of God

Photo courtesy Milan Garbiar I recently read a published devotional by a well known Christian leader who is also someone I know personally. In it he describes how difficult it is sometimes for him to pray. "I must admit that I have found prayer strenuous, boring, and confusing at times." ...
Picture of a planner

On Sale Now! The New and Improved If God Wills Planner

Photo courtesy Mike Rohde "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit' - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a ...
Apartments

Christian Landlords and the COVID-19 Pandemic

Photo courtesy Christina B Castro Today is April 1st. And yes, it's April Fools Day. But the issue I'm writing about is no joke because today is also the first time rent is due for millions of workers who have suddenly and dramatically lost their job through no fault of ...
Apartments

Are You a Christian Landlord During the COVID-19 Pandemic?

Photo courtesy Christina B Castro Today is April 1st. And yes, it's April Fools Day. But the issue I'm writing about is no joke because today is also the first time rent is due for millions of workers who have suddenly and dramatically lost their job through no fault of ...
Oppdal Norway railway station

Evangelist Hans Romsdalen Goes to Oppdal, Norway

Photo courtesy revenque I recently learned something fascinating about my father's relatives: The reason they immigrated to America from Norway was because they were fleeing religious persecution. Oppdal, Norway, located about two hundred miles north of Oslo, is a small, thriving country town complete with its own mall, community theater...and ...
Semitic and Nubian slaves making bricks in Egypt

Protected: Slaves, Bricks, Straw and Quotas: How Archaeology Illuminates Egyptian Brick Making in Exodus 5

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An ancient wine press

The Man You Think You Are, The Man God Knows You Are

An ancient Near Eastern wine press "When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.'" Judges 6:12 Wham! Wham! Wham! Hot, sweaty, dirty, smelly Gideon hated threshing wheat in the bottom of his wine press. It was the ultimate humiliation. But ...
Sad widow

How the Early Church Overcame Its Racial Prejudice

"But when Peter came to Antioch, I withstood him to his face, because he was to be blamed. For before certain ones came from James, he ate with the Gentiles; but when they had come, he withdrew and separated himself from them, fearing those who were of the Circumcision." Galatians ...
Man on cell phone calling someone.

Men’s Ministry in an Age of Mandatory Social Isolation

Photo courtesy grey_juce I used to say that, as a card-carrying introvert, if I were ever convicted of a crime and sentenced to solitary confinement, they would be doing me a favor. "Finally, time to think!" I'd joke. But no more. After almost three weeks of practicing strict "social distancing," ...
An Iron Sharpens Iron conference

Pray for and Support Iron Sharpens Iron as it Faces the Coronavirus Crisis

Iron Sharpens Iron Conference As many of you already know, Iron Sharpens Iron is an amazing men's conference ministry that has been around for over twenty years. This year, ISI has over two dozen conferences scheduled. These conferences average around 500 men in attendance who hail from dozens of churches ...

Cancel Your Church’s Men’s Team Ministry This Month

https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html A special note to my readers who attend a church with a men's team ministry: In light of the rapidly spreading COVID-19 pandemic, if your church has a men's team ministry to its widowed and single parents, then I want to encourage you to cancel your service day for ...

The Church Serving Its Widows and Single Parents is Not a “Niche” Ministry

Photo courtesy new1mproved. Niche - adj., denoting or relating to products, services, or interests that appeal to a small, specialized section of the population. "other companies in this space had to adapt to being niche players" A few years ago I and another gentleman gave two lectures on men's ministry ...

Optimal Seating for Men’s Conference Breakout Sessions

I have a friend in men's ministry who did his Ph.D. dissertation on what seating arrangements work best in small groups, proving the old adage that higher education is the process of learning more and more about less and less until you know everything about nothing. Since my focus for ...

Resurgence of Dualism has Major Apologetic Implications

Photo courtesy Dierk Schaefer I came across a fascinating article and podcast yesterday entitled "Why Pioneer Neurosurgeon Wilder Penfield Said the Mind is More than the Brain.""Why Pioneer Neurosurgeon Wilder Penfield Said the Mind is More than the Brain," Mind Matter News, February 29, 2020, https://mindmatters.ai/2020/02/why-pioneer-neurosurgeon-wilder-penfield-said-the-mind-is-more-than-the-brain/ The reason why this ...

The First Men’s Breakfast

Sunrise on the Sea of Galilee by Steven Van "When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus said to them, 'Bring some of the fish you have just caught.' So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged ...
Herb writing his blog at Starbucks

Who Knew People Read Blogs at 4 AM?

You may not have noticed, but for a couple of weeks I wrote my posts the day before my usual post days and then scheduled them to be delivered at 4 am Mountain Time on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. The result? My readership increased 25%! I think the reason for ...

Does Food Matter at a Men’s Breakfast?

My wife and I have attended Crossroads Church in Thornton/Northglenn, Colorado for nineteen years. During that time the quarterly men's breakfast has been consistently well attended. There are several reasons for this success. For example, I can always expect an excellent speaker from either inside or outside the church who ...

Are America’s Churches Ready for a Coronavirus Pandemic?

Wuhan, China The coronavirus epidemic came home to me personally last week when a friend of mine and his wife were diagnosed with it on the Diamond Princess cruise ship in Japan. Taken to two different hospitals an hour and a half apart, his case turned out to be mild, ...

If This Then That

There's a cool app that I've been using for a couple of years now. It's called IFTTT, which stands for "If This Then That." It links different programs and hardware so that, if something happens in one, then it tells the other to do something else. For example, I can ...
Herb Reese ice skating

On Growing Old with Jesus

I was taught at a very young age to value my life; not just to experience it, but to treasure it, to use it for something better. How could I do that? By believing in and walking with Jesus Christ, I was told. By knowing Jesus and becoming like him ...

We Don’t Need to Imagine

Photo courtesy seth m One of the things that fascinates me about the gospels is that none of their authors bothered to describe Jesus' appearance. They simply thought that knowing what he looked like as he walked the dusty roads of Israel was immaterial. All we know about how Jesus ...

My Doppelganger Died Last Week

"Doppelgainer" by David Park Doppelganger: German translation "double-goer", a non-biologically related look-alike or double of a living person. A few weeks ago, as I walked into my local Starbucks to get my usual tall Pike, no room and settle down for some writing, the barista looked at me and her ...

The Wow Factor

Photo courtesy Geoff Livingston After twenty-five years of experience with men's team ministry, I can quickly discern when a church's men's team ministry is doing something right. It's simple: it has "the wow factor." The wow factor is hard to define. You just know it when you see it. Below ...

How My New Snow Blower has Upped My Love-Your-Neighbor Game

Photo courtesy Maggie Not Margaret It's a great morning in Arvada, Colorado. It snowed four inches last night and I have a new snow blower. (Technically, it's a "snow thrower." A snow thrower has only one stage that uses the augur to "throw" the snow out the shoot. A "snow ...

I Asked You to Pray for Delaware: Here's What Happened

Photo courtesy Rumolay For those of you who didn't read the post, three weeks ago I asked my readers to pray for the State of Delaware. The reason is because Delaware is the only state where I haven't been able to help a church start a men's team ministry to ...

5 Qualities of Unforgettable Sermons

Since several hundred pastors read my blog, every now and then I like to focus on those of us who are and talk a little shop. For those of you who aren't, you need to know that good preaching is much more difficult than it looks. Back in the day, ...

The Bumper Sticker

Photo courtesy Rahel Jaskow "Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, for to this you were called that you may inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their ...

Why Church Business Meetings Still Give Me Nightmares

Photo courtesy Daniel Tobias I woke Patti up as I leaped out of bed in the dead of night last Monday morning. "What's the matter?" she asked with a groggy voice. "Someone's pounding at our door!" I quickly got into my jeans and began running around frantically checking doors. "Nothing ...

Rise of the Servant Kings – A New Must-Read for all Men

It's not often a book written for men can be described as a page-turner, but that's exactly what Rise of the Servant Kings: What the Bible Says about Being a Man by Ken Harrison, the Chairman of the Board of Promise Keepers and a onetime police officer with the LAPD, ...

What Happens When the Church Ignores its Widows

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven." Matthew 5:16 "Jesus Christ's name is blasphemed on prime time TV because of us." (My paraphrase of Romans 2:24 - "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.") ...

Why the Early Church Obsessed about Its Widows…and Why Our Modern Church Doesn’t

Photo courtesy John Kroll When reading about the history of the early church in the book of Acts, or when perusing the letters the Apostles wrote to their churches scattered around the Northeastern Mediterranean, it doesn't take long to notice the importance the church placed on meeting the needs of ...

Yes, We Can Know When We Are Loving Others the Way Christ Loves Us

Recently, I've been noticing a term popping up in our culture that I had never heard before. It's "impostor syndrome." Impostor syndrome is "a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a 'fraud.'" I'm afraid Christians can struggle with ...

Walking in Fellowship with the Living God

Photo courtesy Martin Gommel "We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son, Jesus Christ." 1 John 1:3 (NIV) The great privilege of every Christian is to live with ...

Coagulating Christians

Photo courtesy John Lodder I enjoy reading scientific articles and pretending that I understand them; like how gold is made from exploding supernovas and how quantum computers work. Recently, I read an article on the coagulation cascade in humans. The coagulation (or clotting) cascade is the process by which blood ...

Pray for Delaware

What is it with Delaware, anyway? Over the past eighteen years, New Commandment Men's Ministries has helped almost one thousand churches start men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents. These churches range in size from very large to very small and represent dozens of denominations. They're in mega ...

4 Reasons why NOW is the Perfect Time of Year to Start Your Men’s Team Ministry

Photo courtesy BLM Okay, men. You know all about men's team ministry to the widowed and single parents. You know your men's ministry is on life support and needs a shot in the arm. You know your widows and single moms have ongoing, unmet needs. You know men's team ministry ...

The Father and Son at Barnes & Noble

Photo courtesy Mike Kalasnik "He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers." Malachi 4:6 Until Drew Lock appeared in the starting roster late this season, Denver Broncos fans didn't have much to cheer about. The team was a ...

Why I Can't Hum at the Mall

Photo courtesy Damien Walmsley "Be filled with the Spirit...singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord." Ephesians 5:18-19 My father loved to whistle. I never knew the tunes he was whistling, but I did think it was cute when I was a kid. It wasn't until years later ...

Must We Live? Guns Vs. the Mind of Christ

Phtoto courtesy Claudio Ungari "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness ...

Does Jesus want Believers to Take Up Arms?

Photo courtesy Soren Niedziella This is my third of what will be four posts on men's ministry and guns."Put Your Gun Back in its Holster: Men's Ministry and Guns," "Should Churches Arm their Members with Guns to Protect Themselves?" In response to my previous two posts, a number of readers ...

Should Churches Arm their Members with Guns to Protect Themselves?

Photo courtesy Grace Lutheran Church Knowing that everyone loves to read about conflict and controversy, including Christians, I had a pretty good idea that the number of people reading my post on men's ministry and guns"Put Your Gun Back in its Holster: Men's Ministry and Guns" this past Wednesday would ...

Put Your Gun Back in its Holster: Men's Ministry and Guns

"Put your gun back in its holster," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the gun will die by the gun. Are you not aware that I can call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?" - Jesus ...

God and Satan are Talking about Us

Photo courtesy Dan Brown Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. and he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ...

A Feeling I Have Never Felt

Photo courtesy Toshiyuki "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Over the years I think I have felt pretty much every feeling a person can have. On the positive side, I've known love, happiness, compassion, patience, joy, contentment, pleasure, fulfillment ...

Hey Men’s Ministry Leaders! Start Blogging, Keep Blogging

Photo courtesy Till Westermayer If you're like me, most men's ministry leaders, whether you're leading a national, regional, or local church men's ministry, post on social media like Facebook and Twitter to get your message out. But if you are not doing so, I suggest writing a blog as well ...

Did Isaiah Cuss?

"And they were calling to one another, 'Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.' At the sound of their voices, the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. 'Woe to me! I cried. "I am ruined! For I ...

A Pastor’s Burden

I woke up on the morning of July 4, 1982 with a strange sensation. I was finding it difficult to move. I felt like a huge boulder had rolled over on top of me. It took all the strength I had to sit up on the edge of my bed ...

Can We Overemphasize Ministry to the Widowed and Single Parents?

Photo courtesy Adriel Ifland The short answer to the question whether we can overemphasize ministry to their widowed and single parents is yes. There are many other ministries the church should be doing as well. The long answer, given the emphasis on this ministry in scripture, is that it would ...

Men’s Team Ministry: A Male Friendship Forge in a Male Friendship Desert

Men, if you're like me, you're so involved with work, family and church that you have little time to develop lasting male friendships. For example, last December I noticed that I had been ignoring my guy friendships. So I made a list of ten of my friends and resolved to ...

The Sound of ArmorAll: Five Hilarious Ministry Moments

Photo courtesy Mike Mozart The ministry is many things. But one thing it is not is boring. Over the years, I've had a number of humorous things happen to me while in ministry. Here are five of them. I hope they make your day a little lighter. The Sound of ...

Inaction Breeds Inaction

Photo courtesy Matthew Peoples "An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest." Newton's First Law of Motion Okay, so for years you've been reading my blog about the importance of meeting the pressing needs of their widowed and single ...

Ambassador Sondland, Watergate, and the Resurrection of Jesus Christ

Other than making the observation that evangelicals are way too involved in U.S. politics these days, I've studiously avoided writing about politics in my posts. I have no plans to change course now. For that reason, I'm not going to respond to any comments made here. I was, however, struck ...

Finally Home

"I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go an prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself; that where I am, there you may be also." -Jesus The mortgage broker for our temporary bridge loan couldn't understand why we were ...

Exuding God

Photo courtesy Matthew Hurst ex-ude (ig-zood, ik-sood) verb radiate, show, display, exhibit, manifest She exudes an air of confidence. emit, leak, discharge, ooze, issue, secrete Nearby was a factory which exuded a pungent smell I love people watching. Most times, when I'm sitting in a plane waiting for others to ...

A Low of 6 Degrees, Two Sheets of Drywall in the Garage, and the Holy Spirit

It's six degrees Fahrenheit this morning in Arvada, Colorado, and I had to park my car outside. Overnight, it snowed five inches. I know that many of you park your car outside and clear snow off of it in the morning in subfreezing temps all the time. But when you're ...

The Lack of Intelligent Life in the Universe and the Faith of an Evolutionist

Photo courtesy Kristian Fagerstrom I read a fascinating article by Nick Longrich in RealClear Science"Evolution Tells We Might Be the Only Intelligent Life," by Nick Longrich, RealClear Science. recently on the reasons for why we may be the only intelligent life in the universe. In making his case, he cites ...

An Open Letter to My Black Christian Brother, Pastor Miles McPherson

Photo courtesy KCET Departures Dear Pastor McPherson: This week I attended the annual National Coalition of Ministries to Men Conference in Dallas (which was moved to Fort Worth at the last minute due to a tornado in Dallas). During the conference I heard your message on why races have difficulty ...

My Tribute to Jim Buckner: How a Disabled Single Dad Changed My Ministry Forever

Jim Buckner News that my friend, Jim Buckner, passed last week brought both sadness to my heart and also a flood of wonderful memories to my mind. Jim, for those of you who have never met him, was a member of my church in Quincy, Illinois. Because Jim was a ...

The Day I Overcame My Fears

Photo courtesy Luke Jones "Yes, I'll go." That was the exact moment - the very day and hour - that everything changed for me. I remember where I was standing as I held the telephone receiver to my ear, what my posture was, what I was looking at, and precisely ...

Does Modern Men’s Ministry Unwittingly Encourage Female Chauvinism?

Photo by Christoph Lehmann Many Christian men who have had some exposure to men's ministry have heard the list of dysfunctional behaviors that men's ministry leaders often cite: males are more likely than females to be involved in gangs, commit violent crimes, abandon their households, spend time in prison, commit ...

No Christian Should Ever Be Left Alone

Photo courtesy Lawrence G. Miller I went to Jim 'N Nick's BBQ after church yesterday. It was a beautiful fall day in Denver. The temperature was in the upper 60's, so I ate my usual Pig-in-a Garden pulled pork salad out on the covered porch that overlooks the Rockies...alone. It's ...

The Cares of this World

Photo courtesy Luke Jones "These are the ones sown among thorns; they are the ones who hear the word, and the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful." Mark 4:18-19 I've been finding it ...

Why Me?

Photo courtesy EU Civil Protection "Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. Jesus answered, 'Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell ...

I’m Not a Robot

Proving one is human is becoming increasingly difficult these days. Take Boston Dynamics. It's humanoid robot can do a complete gymnastics floor routine, including flipping, rolling, and jumping with a full 360 degree twist. Computers beat humans at all kinds of games now. They're even being used to compose news ...

Two Moves Equal One Fire

Photo courtesy Roadsidepictures Oh the joys of moving, especially when you're downsizing to a home and office that are 1,000 square feet smaller than your previous location. It's like trying to squeeze into an old pair of jeans you wore in high school. Our house, garage and basement are covered ...

Get Your Eyes Off of Christians and Onto Christ

Photo courtesy oatsey40 "We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7 I've lived as a Christian now for over fifty years. That's long enough to know from experience that every single Christian I've ever ...

Walking in Darkness Down Shadow Canyon

Photo courtesy Nick Fisher "The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble." Proverbs 4:19 One hour and thirty-six minutes. That's my record time hiking the steep trail in Shadow Canyon to South Boulder Peak and back. I don't make that climb ...

An Important Question to Ask when You Walk into a New Church

Photo courtesy Cycling Man. Unless you're one of the rare Christians who have grown up in their current church, we've all gone through the sometimes difficult process of searching for a new church. Checking off our list of requirements is a familiar drill: Is this church sound in doctrine? Do ...

The Tipping Point

Photo courtesy Grant Williamson The Apex Center, one of Arvada, Colorado's rec centers, has a fantastic indoor water park. It's comprised of a lap pool, a community hot tub, and a huge children's pool that's filled with all kinds of colorful water-propelled Rube Goldberg-like mechanics. One of those contraptions, which ...

What are “Pressing Needs” in Titus 3:14?

"Let our people learn to engage in good works, to meet pressing needs, that they may not be unfruitful." Titus 3:14 Cretans in Paul's day had a reputation for being "always liars, evil brutes, and lazy gluttons."Titus 1:12. Paul was quoting a Cretan himself. Consequently, in the three short chapters ...

A Few Thoughts on Your Pastor’s Salary and Benefit Needs

I've been promoting a post on Facebook lately that has received a number of snarky comments from the general public about so-called "rich pastors." Yes, there are some prominent wealthy pastors in the U.S. But they comprise a very small fraction of ministers. Considering their educational level, experience, responsibilities, and ...

How Even Tiny Churches Can Meet the Pressing Needs of Their Widowed and Single Parents

Patti and baby David in front of our first church. Often when I speak and write about the responsibility churches have toward people in their congregations with pressing needs, I get responses like the one I received a few days ago: Herb, don't forget that many small churches have difficulty ...

The Amish Shall Inherit the Earth

I like to kid my evolutionist friends that evolution can't be true because those who believe in it have fewer children than those who don't, making belief in evolution "less adaptive" for our species (in evolution-speak) than not believing in it. I don't know if evolutionists having fewer children is ...

Churches, Take Note: There’s Talk of Cutting Social Security

Photo courtesy Marco Verch I've been saying for many years that America's churches have abdicated to the federal government their responsibility to provide for the needs of their widows, widowers, and others. Biblically speaking, the church has the responsibility to guarantee the well-being of those in its midst with long ...

3 Vital Life Strategies for Young Christian Men

Photo courtesy Rick Powell I was chatting with a neighbor about her two sons a few days ago when she commented, "Young men seem to have lost their way these days." I'm not going to quote the statistics on what has become a modern day truism that men just aren't ...

Eating Jesus

Photo courtesy Cindee Snider Re "Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them ...

Why I Love Going to the Denver Dump

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal." Matthew 6:19 You won't find it on Trip Adviser. You won't see a flashing ad for it when arriving at Denver International Airport. No slick brochure at the visitor ...

From the Armenian Genocide to the Kardashians: The Spiritually Corrosive Nature of American Culture

I grew up with a number of wonderful, dedicated Armenian Christians in my boyhood church. It was easy to tell who they were. Their family names all ended in "ian;" names like Sunukjian, Kitabjian, Bogoisan, Matosian, and Maljanian. I still keep in touch with a few of them. What I ...

4 Qualities of a Servant-Heart Church

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature ...

PK & NCMM Uniting at National Gathering of Men’s Ministry Leaders in Dallas

New Commandment has been a member of National Coalition of Ministries to Men (NCMM) for sixteen years. NCMM played a key role in the founding of New Commandment Men's Ministries, providing me with advice, training, encouragement and a network of fellow men's ministry leaders who have proved invaluable over the ...

7 Mistakes Church Men’s Ministries Make Online

Photo courtesy Julian Carvajil I review many church men's ministry web pages in search of contacts for men's team ministry. I have to say, the process is generally disheartening. If these web pages accurately represent men's ministry in America, then men's ministry in America is in big, big trouble. The ...

It’s a Sad Day when You Fracture Your Funny Bone

"He will put his angels in charge of you, to guard you in all your ways." Psalm 91:11 I first learned about guardian angels from a doctor when I was four years old. I was playing with my sister half way up the staircase at home when I tripped, tumbled ...

A Great Idea for an Intergenerational Men Mentoring Boys Ministry

I've posted before about Dr. Chuck Stecker, a good friend of mine who has a ministry called A Chosen Generation. It specializes in helping churches develop intergenerational ministries. Churches tend to silo their ministries, dividing them up into children, youth, young adults, men, women, etc. A Chosen Generation shows churches ...

Men’s Group Builds Home for Family in Their Church

Twenty-five years ago, when I was a pastor in Illinois experimenting with men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents in my church, I realized we were on to something when one of our four teams decided to build their care receiver a Habitat for Humanity home. They got ...

Stephen Ministry and Men’s Team Ministry: Similarities and Differences

Sometimes, when I approach someone about starting a men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents in their church, I get the following response: "Oh, my church already has a Stephen Ministry." Stephen Ministry, for those who haven't heard of it, is an excellent non-denominational ministry that trains lay ...

Share Your Men’s Team Ministry Experience with Other Churches in Your Community

Recently I've had different men contact me to tell me they are promoting men's team ministries in multiple churches in their communities. One individual in New Zealand wrote the following: The last weekend in July we are having a breakfast for about 30 Christian guys from 5 churches in the ...

The Modern Art Cemetery in Arvada, Colorado

"Common Unity" by Roger Reutimann. Fiberglass and stainless steel, polyester automotive paint. Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities The problem with being a twenty-five year old, single, and inexperienced seminary graduate is that no church wants a twenty-five year old, single, and inexperienced seminary graduate for their pastor. Except ...

Drop Down Menu Christian Men: Everyone Needs Them

Photo courtesy Cindy Schultz My website contains exactly zero drop down menus. The reason is because I designed it myself and I learned that skill by the seat of my pants. True web page designers use drop down menus to conserve space and simplify navigation. Run your cursor over any ...

Providing Transportation: A Great Ministry for Introverts Like Me

Photo courtesy Dave Parker I received a pleasant surprise on Facebook this past Father's Day. I got a shout out from David McWhirter, who was a teenager in my first pastorate many years ago. Along with his brother, I used to pick them up and take them to church. Here's ...

My Daughter’s Guest Post: A Father’s Love

Jake and Marietta Reese Stechmeyer My husband's father, Frank, recently passed away. We found some of his writings as you sometimes do after someone dies, sorting through their possessions with awe and wonder at all the experiences a human life can hold. I came across a passage written so eloquently ...

A Men’s Ministry that Uses FB Groups to Maximum Advantage

I get excited when I see a church effectively using social media to promote its men's ministry. Today I came across Cypress Fellowship's men's ministry's Facebook page and I love it. Here's why. The name of their men's group is masculine and immediately conveys what it's about. "Cypress Fellowship Wingman" ...

The Day I Failed My Neighbors

Photo courtesy John Lillis The neighbor behind us was behaving oddly. I hadn't lived in my home long, but I had lived there long enough to notice that the furtive phone conversations she was having every day on her back porch were unusual. I couldn't hear what she was saying, ...

How 3 Christian Men Can Guarantee the Well-Being of 161 People

In my last post I wrote about how 3 Christian men in a very small church can have a huge impact on the lives of 161 hypothetical people by "guaranteeing their well-being." I arrived at the figure of 161 people by making very conservative estimates of the sizes of their ...
Meeting to Meet Needs trans teams of men to serve widows, single moms, and fatherless children.

Can 3 Christian Men Guarantee the Well-Being of 161 People?

I know. It sounds rather "ambitious" to guarantee the well-being of 161 people. How can anyone guarantee the well-being of 161 people? What does it mean to guarantee the well-being of anyone? And what's with "161 people"? And why "3 Christian men"? It all sounds oddly too specific and waaaaay ...

We Cannot Over Emphasize Good Works

Photo courtesy Beam Media Pastors, have you ever preached a series on good works? How about you, men's ministry leaders? Do your men know the purpose of good works and are you giving them practical opportunities to practice them? The reason I'm asking is because evangelicals tend to ignore the ...

The Saddest Commandment

Photo courtesy Frank Delsjon What would you think if you walked into a home and there in the living was a large plaque that read, "You shall love your wife as Christ loves the church"? Then, when you ask the couple why the plaque is there, the wife responded, "Oh, ...

How to Double Your Men’s Ministry in Just Two Months…and Keep Your Men Coming Back for Years!

I have two questions for you. First, what percent of all the adult men in your church are involved in your church's men's ministry? Second, what percent of all the adult men in a typical church does it take to provide every widow, widower and single parent in its congregation ...

A New Community Concept: Put the Front of the House in the Backyard

"Lisa," a member of my church in Illinois, had moved from Bolivia to the US, married, and started a family. When she and her husband bought their first home, I asked her how she liked it. "It's okay," she said, with a disappointed look on her face. "But back in ...

Why Every Pastor Must Say, “Follow My Example”

Photo courtesy Joe FitzPatrick "Here, let me show you how to do that." Depending on the circumstances, that statement can be taken as either arrogant and demeaning, as when a stranger offers unsolicited advice when you find yourself in a difficult but solvable situation, or as helpful and encouraging, as ...

Volkswagen Commercial: Naked Honesty and Resolute Repentance Make a Comeback

Photo courtesy Bruno Kussler Marques We've seen a slew of major corporate scandals in recent years. There's Wells Fargo, Enron, Lehman Brothers, Uber, CBS, Facebook, and Equifx. Even Apple had its "batterygate." These companies have responded in various ways, such as declaring bankruptcy, replacing its leadership, and changing policies and ...

8 Walls that Hide Christ’s Love from the World

Church of the Open Door I grew up in a large commuter church. Church of the Open Door in downtown Los Angeles drew a few thousand Christians together every week from a twenty-five mile radius in all directions. It was an amazing church, renowned, not only for its Bible teaching ...

Why I Don’t Post about Marriage and Family

Photo courtesy Tom Kelly If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you'll notice that I hardly ever mention marriage and family. I've done this consciously. Here's why. First of all, modern evangelicalism in general, and men's ministry in particular, are obsessed with marriage and family. Walk ...
Some churches form teams of men for their widows.

Simplify Your Men’s Team Ministry So it Lasts for Decades

I like simple things. Maybe it's because I'm a simple person. Or maybe it's because I don't like unnecessary work. Dr. Howard Hendricks, my professor at Dallas Seminary, had a mantra he repeated often, "Don't work harder. Work smarter." And my childhood pastor, Dr. J. Vernon McGee, had a more ...

400 Posts: What I Hope We’ve Learned

I wrote my first post for this blog on January 20, 2014. The title was, "The One Amazing Thing God Wants to Do with Men." Five years and four hundred posts later, the question came to my mind, if I were to summarize the main points I've been trying to ...

On Your Mark, Get Set, Think!

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."1 Peter 1:13, New American Standard Bible Okay, here's the deal, Christians: reality is utterly different than the majority of people around us ...

Conference Ministry and Online Ministry: A Comparison

For my first thirteen years as President of New Commandment Men's Ministries helping churches start men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents, I focused on men's conference ministry. I worked primarily with Iron Sharpens Iron, one of the premier men's ministries, doing seventy-five minute workshops around the U.S ...

The Men’s Ministry at Crossroads: Why it Works

Mike Davisson What is a Successful Men's Ministry? I've written in the past about the men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents at my church, Crossroads Church in Northglenn, Colorado."Faithful Hands," as we call our men's team ministry, has about fifty men involved in it, with fifteen teams ...

Clearly Seen: Paul’s Appeal to Natural Revelation

"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world ...

Finding Glenn

Glenn, left, with Dad and my brothers, Paul and John "Herb, Glenn is missing." My mother's phone call induced an immediate tension in my chest. Glenn, my oldest brother by eighteen years, was last seen stepping onto a bus on Crenshaw Boulevard just north of Interstate 10 in Los Angeles ...

A Men’s Conference Every Day

Let's face it, men serving widows and others with long term needs isn't exactly a huge draw in men's ministry...until I can personally get in front of men in a workshop and talk about the love of Christ and how it applies to widows. When I can do that, men ...

When Your Ministry Leadership Wants to Stone You

Photo courtesy Danielle Haggart David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.1 Samuel 30:6, New International Version In ancient Israel, God had a fascinating way ...

Intergenerational Ministry: Another New Promise Keepers Emphasis

Photo courtesy Nicholas Cole In my last post I wrote about how Promise Keepers will be forming teams of men "in communities everywhere" next year at its men's conference and worldwide simulcast at AT&T Stadium in Dallas. Today, I want to mention another new PK emphasis at this upcoming event: ...

Promise Keepers’ New Goal: Forming Teams of Men!

Photo courtesy Matheus Ferrero Back in the 90's, Promise KeepersYou can learn more about the ministry of Promise Keepers here. had a huge impact on my life. In fact, like many other of my contemporary men's ministry leaders, PK is the main reason I'm in full time men's ministry today ...

The Fear of God Invades Fulsom State Prison

The untimely death a week ago of America's most famous black director, John Singleton, rekindled my interest in L.A. gangs. Singleton filmed his groundbreaking movie, Boyz in the Hood, about black gangs in Los Angeles during the early 90s, five blocks from where I grew up. When I watched the ...

Is “Que Sera, Sera” Theologically Accurate?

Photo courtesy brunurb "Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que Sera, Sera. What will be, will be." A while back, someone shared with me a personal misfortune that had a slightly humorous result. "Oh well, que sera, sera." I blurted out. Later, ...

How to Know When We are Doing “Every Good Work”

Photo courtesy Bud Ellison "Every good work" or "every good deed" is a technical term in the New Testament. The Greek is "pan ergon agathon" and it occurs nine times. Therefore, it's an important concept for every Christian to understand. Here are those nine New Testament occurrences. "God is able ...

Sitting in My Spaceship Out On the Front Lawn

Photo courtesy Leryee "The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place ...

These Hands of Mine: The Holiness of Hard Work

Photo courtesy Danny McL "You yourselves know that these hands of mine have ministered to my own needs and those of my companions. In everything, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus Himself: 'It is ...

How to Develop Good Men in Bad Neighborhoods

My childhood home I've lived in two "bad" neighborhoods. I grew up in a rough inner city black neighborhood near downtown Los Angeles. While my family and I, who are white, lived there, our home was set on fire, my sister's car was stolen out of our garage, my father ...

Good Friday and Ministry to Widows and Single Moms

My childhood church had a Good Friday tradition of holding a special service at noon on the seven last words of Jesus. Since it was a downtown church, business people from the surrounding offices attended the service. Traditionally called the seven last words of Jesus, they're actually the seven last ...

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Non profit men's ministry

Starting a Non-Profit Men’s Ministry?

Photo courtesy Bethany Faulkner Considering starting a non-profit men's ministry? "It is a good thing you desire to do," as Paul said. I moved from the pastorate into men's ministry over sixteen years ago. It was a radical transition for me. After twenty years, I never thought I would be ...

3 Classic OT Examples of Christ’s Love

Photo courtesy Burns Library, Boston College They were precursors, forerunners, exemplars. Hundreds of years before Jesus Christ invaded our earth and left us his command to love each other as he has loved us, they actually did it. Three Old Testament saints loved someone else the way Christ tells us ...

An Intergenerational Orphanage and Retirement Community

Photo courtesy Donnie Ray Jones I've often thought that combining a retirement home with an orphanage, foster care facility, preschool, or even an elementary school, would be super cool. The resulting interaction would develop a symbiotic relationship where older adults help with childcare and share their wisdom, while the children ...

Are You Serving a Widow with a Deadbeat Son?

Photo courtesy Carrie I've had it. Up to here. I'm currently working with three widows, each of whom have an adult son who is not pulling his weight when it comes to helping his mother. And the problem is, the mothers are too timid to call them on it. It's ...
"No task too small" should be our motto when serving others."

No Task Too Small

Photo courtesy Michael Hamann Most men who are involved in men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents deeply appreciate being able to minister on a team to people with long term needs. For them, "No task too small" is a motto. But every now and and then I ...

The Last Thing Pastors Need is One More Guilt Trip

Photo courtesy Gage Skidmore This post is a follow up on a recent one entitled, "Are Seminaries the Reason why Churches Ignore their Widowed and Single Parents?" I was going to title this one, "Are Pastors the Reason why Churches Ignore their Widowed and Single Parents?" But most pastors are ...

The Life and Times of Theodorus Eby

Theodorus Eby's home and barn, circa 1735 I'm sitting in Corner Coffee Shop in Intercourse,Nope. Not going there. Pennsylvania - Amish country - watching traffic go by while I write this post. A constant stream of cars and semis whiz along the narrow, two lane road running through town. Sometimes ...

My Harrowing Experience as a Mediator

"Helen" had a worried look on her face. "I need you to go to the hospital and talk to someone on behalf of my husband."Names and details in this story have been changed to preserve anonymity. Her husband had just broadsided a car and severely injured two young boys in ...

Homelessness as Poverty of Relationship

Photo courtesy Jack Over the last couple of years I've had a number of fascinating conversations with homeless people. One frequent theme I hear is the problem of broken relationships. When I ask the homeless person I'm talking to whether or not they have family, they often respond that they ...

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Men are to be Providers and Protectors

Photo courtesy Julian Carvajal It's a sign of the times that I have to begin a post about an obvious truth - that men are to be providers and protectors - with a disclaimer: No, I am not saying that only men can be providers and protectors. Women can, and ...

What the Bible Says about Widows, Orphans, and the Fatherless

Explicit and pervasive, that's how I describe what the Bible says about widows, orphans, and the fatherless. (Note that the Hebrew word "yatom" can be translated as either "orphan" or "fatherless." In ancient times, a fatherless child was considered the same as an orphan since single mothers almost always had ...

Precooked Good Works

Photo courtesy Brad Smith "God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do."Ephesians 2:10, Today's English Version It's hard for us to believe that the God ...

Moral Foundations and Serving the Widowed and Single Parents

Photo courtesy Andrew "If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?" Psalm 11:3 Good question, isn't it? If the foundations of law and order are destroyed, what can we, who like to think we are part of that group called "the righteous," do? Well, one thing we can ...

The Church’s Responsibility for Widows

In the training I do helping churches start men’s team ministries, I talk about the church taking custodial care, or "final responsibility,” for widows. But what does taking "final responsibility” really mean? What kind of liability is the church assuming for those with long term needs in its midst? Is ...

Grandpa Reese’s Business Card

I never knew my grandfather. He died years before I was born. But I do know that Sivert Reese took his time getting married. Grandpa Reese was twenty-eight when he married Marit Risse, recently arrived from Opdal, Norway, on his farm near Irene, South Dakota. I'm not sure if it ...

You Can Do This!

I've spent the last sixteen years of my life obeying Isaiah 1:17: "Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the cause of the widow." I have done - and am doing - exactly what this passage tells us to do. Over the years, many of you have been following ...

It is Because of Us

Photo courtesy John Candy "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you." Romans 2:24 Over the last couple of weeks, I've heard something I've never heard before on mainstream broadcast TV: the name "Jesus" used as a curse word...twice. For those of us who are Christians, this brazen ...

The Spirit of Cain is Alive and Well in America’s Churches

Photo courtesy Jason Burrows Churches have no plan for addressing long term needs "A sniper's bullet shattered our windshield and instantly killed my husband as he drove our family along a remote highway in Africa. He and I were missionaries, having served in Africa many years," the woman's voice on ...

The Spirit of Cain in Genesis and in Us

Photo courtesy Eric Langley If you ask people what the book of Genesis is about, most would say it's about creation. After all, the book's name, "Genesis," means "beginning." But Genesis is not about creation, the current ongoing creation debate notwithstanding. The creation narrative in Genesis occupies only the first ...

When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Child

Photo courtesy Jan Maklak Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. - Jesus I've taken to ordering milk whenever a server at a restaurant shows up with a pretentious wine list. Take the waitress at a restaurant Patti and I visited ...

No One Got the Parable in My Last Post

Photo courtesy David Stanley I know. No one cares whether or not I'm a citizen of Canada and that I have been all my life without knowing it. The point I was making in my last post"Huh. I'm a Canadian Citizen. Who Knew?" - a point I thought was perfectly ...

Huh. I’m a Canadian Citizen. Who Knew?

Photo courtesy Valentina I got the shock of my life the other day. I came across a website that said if one of my parents was born in Canada, then I'm automatically a Canadian citizen. After checking Canada's official website, I discovered that it was indeed true."You are likely a ...

The Bus Ride that Taught Me How to Walk…With God

Photo courtesy waltarr It takes ten minutes and forty-one seconds to ride the Los Angeles RTD from the corner of Slauson and Keniston to the corner of Manchester and La Brea. At least it did when I was in high school. It also takes ten minutes and forty-one seconds for ...
Picture of Facebook logo

6 Reasons Why My Most Popular Post Ever is Doing So Well on Facebook

Over the past couple of years I have done some promotional work on Facebook. Lately I've focused on promoting a few posts I've written for my blog. One post in particular has received an overwhelming response. Here it is: "It's Time for America's Churches to Take Their Financial Responsibilities to ...

Can Your Men Clearly Identify What the Love of Christ Is?

Photo courtesy jchapiewsky Christians, I have a habit of saying, have two things to give to this world: the gospel and the love of Christ. The primary focus of New Commandment Men's Ministries is on the latter. We train men to apply the love of Christ to their widowed and ...

Sticky Christians: Overcoming “Church Shuffle Syndrome”

If it isn't some sort of record, it must be close to it. My father, who lived to be just a few months shy of 100, was a member of his church for 85 years. I wish I could tell you that those 85 years were wonderful, glorious years for ...

How Crossroads Church Had Mercy on Matt Manning

Pastor Matt Manning Last Sunday my church voted in Matt Manning as our new senior pastor...to take effect eleven months from now. The vote was part of an unusual five year process, one that Patti and I have enjoyed watching. I say "enjoyed" because I've been through the pastoral selection ...

Today I Start Another Chapter in My Ministry!

Photo courtesy Jeremy Wilburn I have wonderful news. Starting today - and with the approval of my board - I'm beginning a couple of major new ministry initiatives. These have come about as the result of two recent developments. First, I've finished setting up my online men's team ministry training ...

Moral Absolutes, Matters of Conscience, and Legalism

Photo courtesy Corey Burger Back in the 60's, when almost everyone drove cars with whitewall tires, I had a Christian friend who grew up in a church that believed driving cars with such tires was a sin. They reasoned that the money Christians spent on whitewall tires could be given ...

If Every Church in America Supported its Needy Widows at $100/Month

Photo courtesy Ronn Aldeman My recent post, "It's Time for America's Churches to Take Their Financial Responsibilities to Widows and Others Seriously,"You can read the post here. has received overwhelming support. It's been downloaded from my site over 20,000 times and shared by over 4,000 people. Now I want to ...

Writing about Widows and Single Moms: Like Serving Lima Beans for Dessert to My Readers

Photo courtesy Omid Tavallai I don't know if this is true or not, but the story goes that a psychology class decided to do a little "experiment" on their professor. They all agreed that everytime the professor - who liked to stand while he taught his class - moved to ...

Where Faith Ends and Life Begins

Photo courtesy FirewallJC When you think about it, there are certain things we can do only here on earth that we will not be able to do when we get to heaven. I'm not talking about sinful things. I'm talking about good things, very good things. Take patience, for example ...

Proven Faith: Whose Side are We On, Really?

Photo courtesy Ben Christians, do you know that God and Satan have an ongoing argument about us? It goes something like this: God: "Have you seen my new child, [your name here]? He made a decision to trust in Jesus Christ for his salvation. Now, he's attending church, praying and ...

Saving Faith: Don’t Leave Earth Without It

Photo courtesy Ramona Patel Not all types of faith are created equal. In my last two posts I've written about evidence-based faith and ordinary faith. But neither one of these kinds of faith will earn anyone brownie points with God. The reason is because they simply treat God as an ...

Ordinary Faith: No One can Live Without It

Photo courtesy Moritz Lino If you ever get a chance to drive along Pacific Coast Highway - Highway 1 - do it. It's one of the most beautiful scenic drives in America. As a child growing up in California, my family made that detour more than once on our way ...

Is Evidence-Based Faith an Oxymoron?

Photo courtesy John Atherton Taco Tuesday was a special night last night for me and Patti. We celebrated her last day at work and entrance into retirement after forty years working as a nurse practitioner with a hot date to Rubio's in our local mall. Living with someone working in ...

Why I Frequent Pagan Businesses that Support Causes I Disagree With

Photo courtesy Dan O'Brien My house guest for the week got a frown on his face. "I'm sorry, I don't shop here. They support..." He had been helping me with a DIY project at home. But when I needed something from Home Depot and invited him to come along without ...

What Hallmark Movies Tell Us About the Current State of America

I know. I know. What is the president of a national men's ministry doing watching Hallmark Movies? They're formulaic (boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back), cheaply made (I jokingly call them "Walmart movies" to my wife), and targeted at women (After watching one I get the ...

Learning How to Love Like Jesus? Start from Zero.

Photo courtesy Aren'tYouAlex-Spencer? Any disciple of Jesus knows that he or she must have this one goal in mind: to love others the way he has loved us. We see the importance of this goal in the following scriptures: "A new command I give you, love one another. As I ...

God’s Christmas Card to Mary and Joseph

Photo courtesy elaine Next Christmas, when you set up your nativity scene, you might consider leaving out the wise men. The reason is because the Bible tells us that the wise menFor a discussion of the relationship between wise men in the Ancient Near East and Christianity, see my devotional, ...
Picture of a widow

Scathing Comments on My Post Show How Americans View the Way Churches Treat Their Widows

We read in Acts 2 that after the church sacrificially cared for the needy in its midst it "enjoyed the favor of all the people." That popular response to the church's observable love for each other mirrored Jesus' prayer in John 17: "That they may be brought to complete unity ...

In Praise of Missionaries

I come from a large extended family that includes several missionaries. My sister and one of my brothers have served as missionaries in the Philippines and Guam. Several of my cousins, second cousins, and even third cousins have been/are missionaries. And my Uncle taught hundreds of students at a Bible ...

Revisiting the Three Unique Qualities of Christ’s Love

At the core of New Commandment Men's Ministries is...well...the new commandment. Jesus states this new commandment no less than three times in what are called his Last Night Discourses, which are found in John chapter 13 through chapter 16. The first statement of this command is John 13:34-35. "A new ...

The Tyranny of Having to Prove Religious Sincerity

Photo courtesy Paul Bettner Peter said, "Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will." "Truly I tell you," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." But Peter declared, "Even if I have to die with you, I will ...

My Response to a Snarky Pastor

Photo courtesy Campbell Chapel Over the years, I've shared my ministry - helping churches form teams of men who adopt their widows and single moms - with thousands of pastors from around the world. As might be expected, the response has been almost universally positive. What pastor wouldn't want to ...

Are Millennial Men Redefining Masculinity?

Photo courtesy Ken Nickerson Several years ago I was driving on the freeway when a young man passed me at ninety miles an hour while doing a wheelie on his motorcycle. "That's so stupid...and so like a stud!" I thought. Daring, fearless, and wreckless, he was proving something to everyone ...

The Long Haul: Men’s Team Ministry for Decades

Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.1 Corinthians 4:2, New International Version When I think of faithful men, I think of my father. In his late teens Dad was thrown into the role of provider for his mother and four younger siblings ...

It’s Time for America’s Churches to Take Their Financial Responsibilities to Their Widows and Others Seriously

Biblically speaking, churches have a large financial responsibility to its widows Here's a bold assertion for all Christians to consider - especially pastors: According to the Bible, our churches have a significant long term financial responsibility to their widows and others with long term needs. This is why. It's no ...

Using Random Team Formation for Your Men’s Team Ministry

So they nominated two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias. Then they prayed, "Lord, you know everyone's heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs." Then they cast lots, and ...
Meeting to Meet Needs trans teams of men to serve widows, single moms, and fatherless children.

I Don’t Care if You Use Teams of Men to Serve Widows and Single Moms

Those of you who have been following my ministry for the past nineteen years know that I have been advocating using teams of men to serve widows, single moms, and anyone else in their churches with long term needs. This men's team ministry model has been implemented in hundreds of ...

Why I Don’t Worry about Money, and Why You Shouldn’t Either

Photo courtesy Kevin Dooley I have been young, and now I am old, but I have never seen a righteous person abandoned or his descendants begging for food. Psalm 37:25 "Money is God's problem, not mine." That's my life motto when it comes to money. Don't get me wrong. I ...

Church with Men’s Team Ministry Survives Paradise, CA Fire

All of us have been following the news about the tragic fire in Paradise, California. The "Camp Fire" is the worst fire in California history. Almost every home and building in Paradise has burned to the ground and the death toll is nearing 100. As I watched the sad news, ...

True Manly Meekness is not Weakness

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." - Jesus "Meek: 1)enduring injury with patience and without resentment; 2) deficient in spirit and courage." - Miriam-Webster Militant themes dominate men's ministry these days. Men's ministry leaders love to describe Christian men as soldiers fighting the good fight. Generals, ...

“Go Tell My Brothers” – Jesus’ Second Human Race

For the last few years I've been enjoying exploring my family tree on Ancestry.com. Since I was a "surprise" baby - my mother was 44 and my father 47 when I was born - I missed out on many of the family stories. This new hobby gives me a chance ...

My Surprising and Spiritually Refreshing Visit to The British Museum

I don't know if you've ever been to London, but if you go, don't miss The British Museum. It will be an unexpected source of spiritual encouragement for you. Patti attended a medical conference in Europe the last couple of weeks and I tagged along for fun. Besides maintaining her ...

Exclusivity and the Church

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of ...

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Faded Love: Without a Plan, It’s Inevitable

Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8 Widowhood is all about the experience of overwhelming loss: the loss of a loved one you have spent years nurturing a relationship with, building a home with, raising children with, eating meals with, paying bills with, watching TV with, making love with... And then ...

Duh! Large Harvard Study Supports What Christians Have Known About Children for Centuries

Finally! We have scientific proof of the obvious: attending church weekly and praying daily have major positive health effects on children, according to a new Harvard study. In the past, numerous studies have documented the positive relationship between religion and well-being in adults."For instance, there is a gradient relationship between ...

On Finishing Well

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but also to all who ...

Serving Widows and Single Moms is Not Rocket Science, People

"Simple things for simple people." I like that saying because I'm one of those simple people. I don't like complexity, chaos and confusion. That's why I make my bed every day. It's a simple thing I can do to add order to my life. An unmade bed, with blankets, sheets ...

Balancing Attitudes Toward the Righteous Poor and the Rightfully Poor

One of the jobs I had while working my way through seminary was serving as a valet car parker at private parties in the homes of wealthy people in Dallas. Going to the Turtle Creek mansions of wealthy and important people and parking their guests' Cadillacs, Rolls Royces and Corvettes ...

Presenting Yourself to God: Good Works and Moral Purity

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 (NIV) It's fascinating how often scripture couples moral purity and good works. James 1:27 is an excellent ...

Best Practices for Churches Experiencing Natural Disasters

As I write, yet another disaster threatens the United States. Hurricane Michael, a category 4 hurricane with 140 mph winds will make landfall in the Florida panhandle in a few hours. With little time to evacuate, residents have been warned to shelter in place. Often forgotten when these natural disasters ...

Has Your Church Experienced a Natural Disaster?

I'm doing research on best practices for churches that have been in the epicenter of natural disasters such as hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, and forest fires. If you lead or attend a church that has actually been through a natural disaster - not simply helped a church that has experienced ...

What They Won’t Teach You in Bible College (Or Seminary)

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV) "I went to bible college for four years, but I was never taught this!" Todd was a ...
Picture of a widow

The People We Bless: The Care Receivers at Crossroads Church

Someone asked me a while back why I don't write more about specific care receivers in my ministry. There are two reasons. First of all, as a consultant, I've helped hundreds of churches start men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents. There are now several thousand care receivers ...

On Christian Sexual Ethics

Photo courtesy courious! Before my wife and I were married, I made the mistake of taking her on a date to see an archaeological exhibit of Canaanite civilization at what was then called the Dallas Museum of Nature and Science. Canaanites inhabited the land of Palestine in the second millennium ...

Save a Life: Check Your Men’s Team Ministry Care Receivers’ CO and Smoke Detectors

My dog woke me up in the middle of the night last night because the low battery alarm on one of our smoke detectors kept going off. Patti and I have invested in a number of smoke and CO detectors for our home. Several years ago a CO detector saved ...

What Made America Great? Moral Humility

"Woe to me!" I cried. 'I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips. And I live among a people of unclean lips." - The Prophet Isaiah Isaiah was a man on a mission. Judah was in an advanced state of putrefaction and he, a court prophet, had ...

Lucy’s Two “Class A” Miracles and the Physician Who Came to Christ

In my last post, I asked my readers if anyone had experienced a "Class A" miracle, meaning a miracle that broke the laws of nature. In response, Lucy Orebaugh left a comment describing two! I have experienced 2 class A miracles. First when I was just 15 my brother was ...

Have You Ever Experienced a “Class A” Miracle?

When I think about miracles, I divide them into two groups that I call Class A miracles and Class B miracles. Class A miracles are miracles that break the laws of nature. Jesus raising a dead girl in Mark 5 is an example of a Class A miracle. These types ...

Just One Person

Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they ...

Leveraging Christian Men

Leverage - "Use (something) to maximum advantage." "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world." Archimedes A lever is a long instrument, such as a pole or a board, which, when used with a fulcrum, multiplies force. For ...

With All Your Mind: A Young Christian Man’s Education

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13) [Paul] writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters ...

I’ve Won the Lottery Three Times

I guess I'm looking particularly chipper here at Starbucks this morning. I just ran into a friend and he jokingly asked me if I'd won the lottery. "Actually, I have!" I said. "In fact, I've won the lottery three times." "Wow! No kidding!" "Yep. I won the lottery when I ...

No, Being a Good Citizen is Not the Same as Being a Good Christian

I attended a men's conference with several hundred men in attendance one time that resembled a political rally more than it did a spiritual gathering of Christians. The meeting opened with a man carrying a large American flag marching slowly down the middle aisle and up onto the stage, accompanied ...

A Moral Earthquake that Produced a Tsunami of Righteousness

The little Book of Ruth is only four chapters long. But it answers an important historical question. In the midst of the social and moral chaos of the period of the Judges (The previous Book of Judges ends with "In those days, Israel had no king. Everyone did as he ...

Transparency: A Critical Component in All Men’s Ministry

[Joseph's ten brothers] said to one another, Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that's why this distress has come on us. Reuben replied, Didn't I tell you not ...

How God Uses Teams

Have you ever noticed that when God wants to accomplish something, he almost always uses teams. It may sound trite, but in a sense, we can think of the Trinity as a team of three. In respect to our salvation we see this team in action when the Father sends ...

Good Works and Christians: An Inductive Bible Study

This Bible study on good works may be one of the most important Bible studies any Christian will ever do. It will dramatically impact how you treat people in need around you and it will also affect the rewards you will receive in heaven. References to good works and doing ...

Should the Church Take Final Responsibility for Believers in Need?

The short answer to the question, "Should the Church Take Final Responsibility for Believers in Need?" is yes. Scripture teaches this truth in many places, both by example (i.e., Acts 2:45; 4:34; 6:1-6) and by teaching (1 Timothy 5:3-6; 1 John 3:16-18; Titus 3:14). But if the church is to ...

What Every Christian Man Needs to Know about the Bible

I was once asked to give a series of lectures on men's ministry at a Bible institute in the Pacific Northwest. Prior to the lectures, the head of the institute, a pastor, asked me what book or books I wanted to assign to the students. "The Bible," was my simple ...

Responding to Thankless and Demanding Care Receivers

It doesn't happen often, but every now and then I get reports of a men's team ministry care receiver who has an entitlement mentality. Instead of being thankful for the service their team is providing, they become critical and demanding. Of course the team wants to show their care receiver ...

A Simple Solution to Chicago’s Gun Violence – Fear of Hell

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Jesus The recent war going on in south side Chicago has captured headlines across America. And yes, it is ...

Present Benefits of Our Future Hope

For materialists, the physical universe is all that is. Only what we can see, hear, smell, taste and touch is real. For them, Christianity is a "nothing burger" that focuses only on an imaginary afterlife and anesthetizes us to the pain of this life. Or, as Karl Marx famously stated, ...

Would King David Have Eaten the Shepherd’s Pie at The Burns Pub and Restaurant?

Patti and I celebrated our 39th anniversary this weekend at The Hilltop Inn. Attached to the inn is an English-themed eatery called The Burns Pub and Restaurant, a cozy little place overlooking the Front Range that made us feel like we were celebrating almost four decades of joy and happiness ...

Should a Men’s Team Ministry Ever Stop Serving a Care Receiver?

Our goal with men's team ministry is to provide consistent and effective years-long service to people in our churches and communities with long term needs, such as the widowed and single parents. To do this, we emphasize three unique qualities of Christ's love: identification, commitment and sacrifice. When it comes ...

Equipped for Good Works

Photo courtesy Peter Miller All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 According to 2 Timothy 3:16-17, the Bible is ultimately a good works manual. It ...

Inky Goes to Smokey Mountain Garbage Dump

"I haven't done anything with my life!" That's how I felt when I left church yesterday morning. I was visiting Redeemer Temple in Denver to help promote their men's retreat. I'm speaking at it later this month. I was looking forward to hearing the pastor preach, but instead, they had ...

Ten Ways Jesus Could Have Improved His Men’s Ministry

It's been 2,000 years since Jesus started the first men's ministry. Sadly, after three and a half years of hard work, he had only eleven quasi-committed disciples to show for it. But we men's ministry leaders have learned a lot about men's ministry in the centuries since then. Here are ...

How I Introduced My Neighbor to Men’s Team Ministry

I've been writing from time to time about the amazing young Christian couple that lives next door to us. They're deeply involved in their church, participate in a home group that they sometimes host, and practice genuine Christian community. Andrew, who is a civil engineer but is changing careers and ...

Good Works that All Believers Should Do and Good Works that Only Some Believers Should Do

Evangelicals tend to shy away from the topic of good works. For example, in all of the literature that I have read on men's discipleship, I've seen next to nothing written on the subject of good works. Our tendency to avert our eyes from the idea of good works stems ...

A Men’s Ministry Your Community Can’t Ignore

I knew we were on to something when the Quincy Herald Whig published a picture of a team of men from a local church's men's team ministry on its front page. The picture was of the team serving as pallbearers, carrying their care receiver's coffin out of the church after ...

A Suggestion for Young Pastors

Thursday, July 1, 1982: my first day as a new pastor. I was twenty-nine years old, with a wife of three years and an infant boy of three months. It was a huge step of faith. Patti and I had sold our home home in Houston, quit our jobs - ...

6 Reasons Why People Leave Their Church

Here's a depressing topic all pastors struggle with: churn rate. A church's churn rate is the percentage of people who leave the church over a given amount of time. If it's any consolation, Jesus himself had a churn rate. In fact, at one time it was almost 100%. "Yet there ...

How Satan Speaks

I've been writing about how God speaks. I initially thought I could get everything into one post, but the subject grew to four posts and I still didn't cover all the ways God speaks to us. We saw that not only are we living in God's speech, we are God's ...

How God Speaks – Part IV

We've seen in this brief series on how God speaks that God has and is utilizing many different ways to communicate with humanity. These include God speaking in creation, in our personhood, in our conscience and in the Bible. All of this communication, however, is impossible for humanity to understand ...

The Lady in the Black Ford Pickup

[I wrote this post just for fun. I hope you enjoy this true story.] Back in the day when people read newspapers, I decided to pick one up at my local King Supers grocery store to read while drinking my morning coffee. As I walked in the parking lot back ...

Should We Use Entire Families as Teams in Our Men’s Team Ministries?

Yesterday, a pastor on the west coast with a successful, years-long men's team ministry called me with a question. He said three families in his church had asked if they could serve a widow or single parent as individual families. He asked me if I knew of any churches that ...

Men’s Ministry and Alcohol: A Cautionary Tale

A few years ago I was invited to a men's Bible study that served beer to the dozen or so men who were present. I arrived late and noticed that everyone had the exact same beer located in the exact same location in relation to their Bibles: to the upper ...

How God Speaks – Part III

In my first two posts on the topic of how God speaks, I covered how God speaks in creation, in our personhood, in our conscience and in the Bible. Today I want to look at the most important way God speaks. God Speaks in His Son, Jesus Christ The Bible ...

How God Speaks – Part II

This post is the second in a series on "How God Speaks." In my first post I covered how God speaks in creation and in our personhood. I now discuss two more major ways God speaks. God Speaks in Our Conscience Our conscience is simply the awareness that God is ...

How God Speaks

When it comes to the question of the existence of God, one would think that if he does exists, then he would introduce himself to us. Christians assert that God has in fact introduced himself to us, and still is introducing himself. All we have to do is look around ...

When God Gets Angry

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world ...

The Book of Second Exodus

My pastor is preaching a series through the Book of Exodus. I've been enjoying reviewing this beloved book of the Bible: the oppression of the Jews in Egypt, the birth and calling of Moses, the ten plagues, the first Passover night, Moses parting the Red Sea, the miracles in the ...

Husbands and Wives and Heaven

A few years ago I gave a lecture in Europe to a group of pastoral students on the topic of why Jesus didn't focus on the family. Quoting Mark 12:18-25, I made the point that Jesus taught that marriage ends at death: Then the Sadducees, who say there is no ...

We’re Not Mormons, People

With the understanding that the vast majority of my readers are Christians, I must say that often in practice we act instead like we're Mormons. Here's why. I'm no authority on LDS theology, but I do know that Mormons believe that marriage survives death and lasts into eternity. Hence, Mormons ...

Our Perfect Christian Neighbors May Be Widow-Blind

A breath of fresh air has been blowing through Ammons Circle lately. Over the last four years, seven young families have moved onto our block. Besides their young children, they've brought with them a zeal for updating and renovating their forty-something homes. Most of them have followed the new post ...

Why I Read the News Before I Write My Blog Posts

I confess. From time to time I feel a tinge of guilt for reading the news before I start writing my blog posts. Why immerse myself in the latest updates on intransigent wars, the dalliances of public figures, the social slop spread all over social media, mass shootings, who cursed ...

Won’t the Poor and Needy Always Be With Us?

I have a ministry montra that I repeat often: "It is God's will for every church to be able to say, 'There is not a needy person among us.'" This morning, someone asked me on Facebook, "Won't the Poor and Needy Always Be With Us?" The short answer is, yes, ...

What You Need to Know Before Choosing a Nursing Home for Your Loved One

You've been caring for your loved one, possibly in your home or their home, and you've finally realized their needs have surpassed your ability to meet them. You're exhausted and desperate. But before you go out and enlist the services of a nursing home you come to regret, here are ...

Please Stop Praying About Whether Your Church Should Serve the Widowed and Single Parents

I have a prayer request, or rather, an anti-prayer request. Would you please stop praying about whether your church should serve its widowed and single parents? "But we haven't started praying about whether we should serve these people," you say. True. That's probably because most churches completely ignore their widowed ...

But You, Man of God

Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced ...

Yes, It’s Okay to Give Money to Widows and Single Moms

Pastors, I have a question. Have you ever encouraged a wealthy person in your congregation to make a direct donation to someone else in your congregation who was in dire need, perhaps to a widow or single mom? The reason I'm asking is because I never did that when I ...

The Fundamentals

Many years ago I was rummaging through my dad's garage and came across a box of books. In it were the four famous volumes pictured here: The Fundamentals, published in 1917 by the Bible Institute of Los Angeles and edited by R. A. Torrey, first pastor of my home church, ...

Team Saves Care Receiver’s Home From Devastating Forest Fire

In June of 2013, the Black Forest Fire burned 14,280 acres north of Colorado Springs, Colorado. It killed two people and destroyed 509 homes. But because of the work of Oleta Goodrich's team of men, it didn't burn her home or the homes of six of her neighbors. Here's her ...

How does A Christian Man Address Pressing Needs?

Now that we've identified the five circles of a Christian man's responsibility to guarantee the well-being of those in need around him -- himself, his family, his extended family, his church and his neighbors -- the next question is how one goes about fulfilling this responsibility without being completely overwhelmed ...

Revisiting A Christian Man’s Five Circles of Responsibility…and Blessing

New Commandment Men's Ministries focuses on a very specific area of need: long term needs within the local church. Most often, people with this type of need are the widowed and single parents. But taking the biblical mandate to meet pressing needs as a whole, long term needs within the ...

Why I Love Attending the Funerals of Care Receivers at Our Church

One of my great joys in life is witnessing a team of men fulfill their commitment to provide consistent and effective care to their care receiver for as long as they need it. Sometimes a team of men fulfills their commitment to a single mom or a widow at a ...

No Little People, No Little Places

"For you see?your calling,?brethren, that not?many wise according?to the?flesh, not many?mighty, not many?noble, are called.?But God has? chosen?the foolish?things of the?world to put to?shame the wise,?and God has chosen?the weak?things of the?world to put to?shame the things?which are mighty;?and the base things of the world and the things which are ...

Why I Turned My Neighbor In

"Wow! You sure carry a lot of clout!" "Dan," who lives a few doors down from me, was excited. He had seen me through his window earlier this week on my daily walk with my dog, Dixie, and then rushed outside to catch me before I got too far down ...

The Men’s Ministry I Didn’t Know

I want to tell you about a men's ministry I didn't know existed. And yet, it was the one men's ministry that has most impacted my life. This stealthy men's ministry, so to speak, also explains why I'm so passionate about men's ministry today. To help you understand why these ...

Why I Get So Excited When I Talk About Practicing the Love of Christ

There is a moment during my workshop on meeting pressing needs in the local church where I transition from describing the different types of pressing needs churches experience to discussing how the practice of the love of Christ perfectly meets those needs, and it's electric. As I begin talking about ...

The Promise Keepers Pamphlet that Started Men’s Team Ministry to Widows and Single Moms Worldwide

I thought I'd share a little about the origins of New Commandment Men's Ministries today. In 1996, while I was a pastor of a church in Quincy, Illinois, I took a group of men to a Promise Keepers stadium event in Indianapolis. I had been discussing with them the idea ...

What if Your Church Just Doesn’t Want to Do Men’s Team Ministry?

Recently I received a couple of emails from men saying they were frustrated. One of them had moved to a new state. He had been involved in his former church's men's team ministry to its widowed and single parents and really enjoyed it. He was hoping to interest his new ...

Today We Celebrate Dorothy Nickerson and Her Team at Crossroads Church, Northglenn, Colorado

Fifteen years ago this May, my church - Crossroads in Northglenn, Colorado - started a men's team ministry to its widowed and single parents with twelve men, three teams and three care receivers. The ministry has been going strong all these years and today we have fifteen teams, twenty-five care ...

Why I Seldom Write about Specific Widows and Single Moms

Recently, I received news that Dorothy Nickerson, one of our original care receivers at my church, passed away. Her team served her faithfully starting in 2003, and even kept in touch regularly when she moved to Washington State a few years ago. I'm devoting an entire post to her and ...

Rest for the People of God

"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;?for anyone who enters God?s rest also rests from their works,??just as God did from his.?Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience." Hebrews 4:9-11 At first ...

Do Men’s Team Ministries Really Last for Years? My Survey Says Yes!

Last week I sent out a one question survey asking how long churches have had their men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents. Twenty-two churches responded and I must say, I'm pleased. Here are the results: 1-2 years: 19% 3-4 years: 0% 5-6 years: 23.8% 7-8 years: 9.5% ...

Five Effective Regional Men’s Ministries and Why They’re Successful

Regional men's ministries can be an extremely valuable asset for any church, especially if your church is small. Over the years, several successful regional men's ministries have put down roots. Here's a list of five regional men's ministries I've come to know well. They've been around for years and are ...

There are Two Ways to Gain Eternal Life

Every now and then, when I speak on the topic of good works, I ask my audience a?trick question: How many ways are there to?gain eternal life? The answer I always get back is: one. Technically, that is incorrect. According to?the Bible, there are two ways to gain eternal?life. The ...

Best Practices for Starting and Maintaining a Men’s Team Ministry to the Widowed and Single Parents

Gentlemen, this is a football. "Gentlemen, this is a football. I'm the coach. You are the players." Vince Lombardi, head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960's, was famous for emphasizing football fundamentals at the beginning of each preseason training. His first speech always began with that famous ...
Picture of Facebook logo

How $500 in Facebook Ads Intensified New Commandment’s Worldwide Ministry

Over the past two years, New Commandment Men's Ministry has restructured its strategy from direct in-person marketing through workshops at men's conferences to developing a free training and resource site. The first step in this new strategy involved developing a regular blog that currently goes out to about 7,000 people ...

11 Inclement Weather Projects to Do for Your Care Receiver

It's snowing, or raining, or just plain cold outside and your care receiver can't think of any inside projects for your team to do. In this situation, it may be helpful to have a few ideas for projects ready. Here are some suggestions. Pull out the refrigerator and clean behind ...

The Absolute Worst Biblical Passage for Men’s Ministry and Why You Should Teach It

Judging from current men's ministry nomenclature, what I'm about to propose in this post is heresy. After all, isn't it the goal of all men's ministry to create truly manly men? Take, for example, the book I'm currently reading:?Mansfield's Book of Manly Men (which is really good, actually). The biblical ...

Pastors, Here’s an Important Question to Ask All Prospective Staff

Over the twenty years I was a pastor, I endured several candidating experiences. I say "endured" because I liken candidating for a pastorate at a church to getting a wife through a mail order catalog. One of my pastorates had four hundred applicants for the position. And no church I ...

Funding Your Men’s Team Ministry

One of the first questions all churches who are considering doing men's team ministry for their widowed and single parents ask is how much it costs. The short answer is very little. The long answer relates to the three different types of costs a church may incur. Funding the Startup? ...

Another 5 Men’s Ministries You Should Know About

In my continuing effort to expose my readers to the amazing men's ministry resources that are currently available, here are an additional five men's ministries everyone who has a concern for men should know about. Men With No Regrets - Founded by Steve Sonderman. Highly regarded as one of the ...

Men as Springs of Water

Jesus said to her, ?Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a fount of water springing up to eternal life.? The woman said to Him, ?Sir, give ...

Educating New Care Receivers is Critical to Starting a Men’s Team Ministry

We spend a lot of time talking about the importance of training care givers when starting a men's team ministry to the widowed and single parents. Care givers need to be trained in the love of Christ, the importance of good works, why we use teams, what the men's team ...

Help Me Work My Way Out of a Job

There really shouldn't be a parachurch ministry called New Commandment Men's Ministries. In fact, it felt very strange incorporating the "New Commandment" as a 501 (c)3 fifteen years ago. And I never have managed to get up the nerve to trade mark our logo. How can I possibly tell people, ...

What’s Left of God

My wife has a problem. Patti has been a women's health care nurse practitioner for forty years. That means she's done over 100,000 exams. And that means she continually gets her left and right mixed up. Why? Because as she faces her patients and talks to them about their left ...

Pastor, Your Men Need Male Friendships and You Can Help

Pastor, the men in your church need you. More specifically, they need you to do something for them. They need you to help them make healthy male friendships. Men who lack friends has become a huge red flag in our culture. Look at these recent titles from leading publications: Boston ...

3 Ways to Start a Men’s Team Ministry to Your Widowed and Single Parents

Men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents is not rocket science. It's easy to start one in any church. Here are three ways to begin a men's team ministry in yours. First Way - Steal Our Idea! ? Actually, men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents ...

Visualizing Heaven

Nothing is working right this morning. I got locked out of my online ministry banking account. (Hmm, what is my accountant's mother-in-law's first name?) And for some reason, I can't access my ministry's website with my home wifi, Starbucks' wifi, or with my cellphone hotspot. I can check my email, ...

Heaven Lite

I wrote recently about "Hell Lite." I discussed how God isn't a sadist, arbitrarily assigning everyone to the same fate in hell. (This is a favorite atheistic straw man argument against the existence of a personal, holy God.) Instead, there are degrees of hell, with some being more tolerable than ...

The Narrow vs. Broad Definitions of “Neighbor”

"Neighbor means neighbor." That's been my mantra as I've thought and written about what it means to love our neighbors as ourselves. The reason I've focused on the concreteness of our neighbors is because we tend to go first to the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). In that ...

Nextdoor: The Neighborhood App Every Christian Should Download

?This is an usual post. First of all, I want to give you a heads up about an app that has particular relevance to my current topic: loving our neighbors as ourselves. Secondly, I need your feedback on three ads I've developed for Facebook. Those ads are below. The app ...

Saying Goodbye to Hell

Over the past fifteen years of helping churches start men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents, I've received exactly two derogatory emails. The first was about ten years ago. The writer was irate that I would have the nerve to charge for my training material. The second was ...

Precooked Good Works

"God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do." -Ephesians 2:10 (Today's English Version) Wally was an unusual addition to his team?at his church. Unusual because ...

Handling Conflict With Difficult Neighbors

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -The Apostle Paul At the moment, Patti and I have great neighbors. But that has not always been the case. All of us from time to time have had difficult neighbors who irritated us ...

Slow Down and Smell the Neighbors

What does it really mean to love our neighbors as ourselves?? That's the question I've been asking in this series of blog posts. Here are some practical suggestions to help us do just that. Pray for yourself. God wants to do a work in our neighborhoods. But first he wants ...

A Neighborhood With Invisible Bonds

Imagine you're walking down a path in a city park. It's Saturday morning and two people are sitting on the bench ahead of you, a man and a woman. The man has his head buried in a newspaper and the woman is looking down at her smart phone. Passing by, ...

7 Things to Keep in Mind When Loving Your Neighbors

As Christians, we're commanded to love our neighbors "as ourselves." A high bar indeed. For the past seven years Patti and I have tried to take this command literally and seriously. Here are some things we've learned along the way. Respect your neighbors' privacy. It seems counter intuitive, but the ...

What God Thinks of the American Dream

"You say, ?I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.??But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." -Revelation 3:17 Several years ago I spent a week doing mission work in Haiti. Of course, the physical poverty was overwhelming. But ...

The Difference Between Loving Our Fellow Believers and Loving Our Neighbors

To date, I've written primarily on the topic of men's team ministry to the widowed and single parents. But as I've related in my last three posts, God has also taken me on a forty year journey of teaching me how to love my neighbors. So I want to dedicate ...

The Neighborhood Christmas Party that Changed Everything for Us

[This is the third in a series of three posts on Acts 2:44-47 and 4:32-37. You can read the first post here and the second post here.] Dr. Litfin was wrong. I didn't split my church the one time I finally got up the courage to preach on Acts 2 ...

Why Acts 2:44-47 and 4:32-35 Are Normative for the Church

[This post is the second of a three part series on Acts 2:44-47 and 4:32-37. You can read my first post here.] So what is the church supposed to look like? Fortunately, the Bible gives us two very clear descriptions of what it is to look like. We find them ...

How My Master’s Thesis Changed My Life and Ministry

Seminary wasn't exactly a joy ride for me. Since I didn't think a pressure cooker experience like getting a masters from Dallas Theological Seminary was the best way to start a marriage, I had always prayed that the Lord wouldn't show me the woman I was to marry until after ...

A Brief History of Men’s Team Ministry to the Widowed and Single Parents

Next month marks New Commandment Men's Ministries' fifteenth anniversary. It's hard to believe we've been helping churches start men's team ministries to their widowed and single parents for a decade and a half. I thought I'd celebrate by briefly reviewing a history of men's team ministry. The first men's team ...

Should We Give at the Stoplight?

It's sad to see people begging. It's a reminder that we live in a fallen world and that there are people with real needs. But when it comes to seeing people begging, I almost always drive by without giving anything. But I also have to admit, I do feel a? ...

Hell: The Fairest Place of All

I know it sounds weird, but these last few weeks I've found that meditating on scriptural passages relating to both hell and God's goodness is edifying. It's helped me better understand both what hell is like and who God is. Meditating on hell has given me a greater awareness of ...

Have You Ever Had Any Type of Improper Relationships Develop With Your Men’s Team Ministry?

When I first began New Commandment Men's Ministries fifteen years ago I had two primary concerns: safety and improper relationships. With regard to safety, the idea of thousands of volunteer men doing handyman projects in hundreds and hundreds of homes conjured up images in my mind of men with broken ...

We Have Never Been Enslaved to Anyone

"We have never been enslaved to anyone." - Offended Jews when Jesus told them the truth would set them free. "Enslave - to control someone by keeping the person in a bad or difficult situation where the person is not free, or to make a slave (= person legally owned) ...

Righteousness 101

All Scripture is God-breathed?and is useful for teaching,?rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,?so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17) ?I went to bible college for four years, but I was never taught this.? ?Todd? was a young man who was ...

What Makes a Man Valuable?

Since men are getting a lot of bad PR these days, maybe it's time to focus on the positive. So here's my question: What makes a man valuable? Something to consider when answering this question is, to whom? Women? Employers? Society in general? God? Women may value looks, health and ...

Have You Been Injured While Doing Men’s Team Ministry?

I broke my thumb this summer while mowing my lawn. Yes, it is possible to break your thumb while mowing your lawn. Here's how I managed to do it. I wasn't paying attention when I turned the mower around after mowing a strip of my backyard lawn. I thought I ...

Hell Lite

Talking and writing about hell in public is a faux pas these days. But at the risk of being a Debbie Downer (or rather, a Dennis Downer) during the holiday season, I'm going to do just that. I was stunned by the overwhelming response I received to my post "Imagine ...

God of Our Hearts

Without God as Lord of our hearts... There?will never be enough laws. There will never be enough security cameras. There will never be enough police officers. There will never be enough body cams. There will never be enough check points. There will never be enough lawyers. There?will never be enough ...

The Bikini and the Burqa

"Human nature never changes." The professor and I both sighed. We were on a ten minute break at the Broomfield, Colorado, City and County Courthouse.. The lawsuit for wrongful termination against Vail Resorts had been dragging on and on and both of us were getting bored performing our civic duty ...

Thoughts From Nashville on the Need for Men’s Ministry in America

I was in Nashville earlier this week meeting with men's ministry leaders from around the country. I almost didn't go. I've had sinus issues for the past ten weeks. But I drug myself to Denver International, plopped my body in a plane seat, survived pressurized acute sinusitis at 30,000 feet, ...

Believing That, Believing In

Every time I fly somewhere I always notice a very specific and important moment on my trip: it's the moment I transfer my weight from the end of the jetway onto the jet by stepping through the door. It's a very delibrate act of the will, a decision that I ...

Any Church Really Can Start a Men’s Team Ministry for One Dollar. No, Really.

Someone once asked me why we don't just give our training material away for free. Actually, we've given our training material away for free to churches outside of North America for several years now. But since New Commandment Men's Ministries has bills to pay, our 501 (c)3 relies, not only ...

Jesus, Friend of Women

Dear Women: Welcome to the modern world and its secular, godless men. In this new world, men have been taught all their lives that they are the end product of millions of years of evolution: the fittest of the fit. They believe they are mere animals with huge sex drives ...

Through Love Serve One Another

Maybe it was because my mother wasn't Norwegian. I don't know. But the reality was that Grandma Reese never thought Mom was good enough for her beloved firstborn son, Bernhard. No matter what she did, Mom couldn't cook well enough, keep house well enough, or raise five children well enough ...

Do You Hate Your Wife Enough?

?If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters?yes, even their own life?such a person cannot be my disciple." - Jesus I once quoted the above verse to a girl I was dating. I was just trying to explain my understanding ...

Has Your Church Conducted a Pressing Needs Audit?

"Our people must also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, so that they will not be unfruitful." Titus 3:14 Ignoring the pressing needs of fellow believers is a violation of the love of God We are told in scripture that one of the worst things we ...

The Neediest of All? Single Care Givers of Disabled Loved Ones

Photo courtesy Honza Soukup We focus men's team ministry primarily on the needs of their widowed and single parents in our congregations, but there is a subgoup of people in our churches who often need special attention: single care givers of disabled loved ones. Over the past twenty years, I've ...

5 More Men’s Ministries You Should Know About

As I've said before, men's team ministry to their widowed and single parents is not the be-all and end-all of men's ministry. There are many different aspects to men's ministry besides serving the widowed and single parents. If you're using men's team ministry to begin a men's ministry in your ...
Meeting to Meet Needs trans teams of men to serve widows, single moms, and fatherless children.

Evaluating Your Men’s Team Ministry

The goal The goal in men's team ministry is to practice the love of Christ as it applies to people with long term needs in our churches - such as their widowed and single parents - so that our churches can say, "There is not a needy person among us." ...

A National Men’s Ministry Leadership Conference You Shouldn’t Miss

My post today is about an upcoming men's ministry leadership conference that is dear to my heart. I discovered National Coalition of Ministries to Men (NCMM.org) by accident while researching men's ministry on the Internet fifteen years ago. At the time, their next men's ministry leadership conference was one month ...

Using the Internet to Promote and Administer Your Men’s Team Ministry

I think of the Internet as the modern version of the Roman road. Just as Rome's systems of roads facilitated the spread of the gospel and the church throughout the Roman empire in the first and second centuries, in our time the Internet has become a major facilitator of ministry, ...

The Future Perfect

I know. You think I'm going to talk about how perfect heaven is going to be in the future. Yes, heaven certainly is and will be perfect. But that's not exactly what I mean by "The Future Perfect." What I'm referring to by the future perfect is the future perfect ...

Incremental Love

I love my wife. Always have. Always will. Patti is the most amazing woman. Just spend ten minutes with her and you'll find out why. She's beautiful, godly, intelligent, personable, loving, and fun. She's the second pea in my pod. On the other hand, I have learned how to love ...

The Healing Effects of Men’s Team Ministry

Every now and then I get this question: If most of your care receivers are women, then why do you emphasize using men to serve them? There are several reasons why New Commandment Men's Ministries focuses on using men. One reason is because it's biblical. Jesus and the apostles all ...

Imagine There’s No Hell

A couple of days ago I was watching CNN interview Carolyn Goodman, the mayor of Las Vegas, about the mass shooting there. When asked about her thoughts on Stephen Paddock, she said, "May he rot... ," and then she suddenly stopped. It was an awkward moment. "Go ahead," I thought ...

10 Essential Verses on Good Works

Every now and then I like to remind my readers why serving their widowed and single parents in our churches is important. Of course, one reason it's important is because these people often have long term needs. But it's also important because doing so is a way to obey the ...

The Meaning of Widows and Orphans in James 1:27

For years I've thought of the orphans and widows that James refers to in James 1:27 as unrelated individuals. But the other day it dawned on me that James is probably including single mothers and their fatherless children as a third category besides orphans and widows. Here's the verse: Religion ...

Loving His Appearing

I was a pretty compliant preschooler so I never got a spanking. But I came close to having my buns warmed the day I spotted a big box of laundry detergent, took it outside, poured it into my sandbox, ran the hose on it, and turned the entire backyard into ...

The Weddings Reunion: A Parable

Once upon a time I had a marvelous idea: I decided I would invite together all the couples for whom I had performed wedding ceremonies to see how they were doing. I planned a lavish reunion and sent out gilded invitations, inviting them to join me and share their experiences ...

Christian, Meet “As”

Christian, meet "As". As is the one word that separates Christians from all other human beings. In fact, As is the way people recognize that they are in the presence of a follower of Jesus Christ. Imagine that! God has hard wired the entire human race to know when As ...

Preparing Your Teams for Their First Service Day

It's critical that your men's team ministry's first service day goes well so that you can begin to establish healthy patterns that will last for years. At the same time, your first service day will be different from all other service days because it will be more of an introduction ...